From this ariseth impatience, murmuring, discontent, unquietness, when outward things are wanting:1 For did the heart cleave fast unto God, it would rest quiet in his promise, if all other things were lacking. Self-confidence, ⟨p. 210⟩resting in means, and leaning upon them, as lands, riches,2 f•iends, &c. are effects of unbelief. He that rejoiceth in Christ Jesus can have no confidence in the flesh. As we grow down, denying our wisdom, and all strength we can make; so doth faith in our great God grow up; as we swell or be puffed up in conceit of our wisdom or strength, so doth faith languish or decay. So much as the heart stayeth upon the creature, it is by sin with-drawn from the Creator. But my heart is much poisoned with self-sufficiency: I feel my self apt to lean upon mine own devices to presume upon mine own strength, and so wickedly to depart from God. If means be at hand I grow secure, forgetting, that further then God doth send forth his Word, they can do nothing. If means be wanting, I faint, or at least, am greatly distracted, not remembering that it is all one with God to save with many as with few, with small or no means as great. If I enjoy the things I would, I think much upon the means, ascribe little to Gods blessing: my affections do work more lively on this or that which fell out (as men speak) more luckily, then on the blessing of God, which is all in all. In any matter of weight concerning lively-hood or state, I am ready to plod what friends I can make, what means be present, what likelihoods of good success, and here I rest, not seeking to the Lord,3 though all judgement come from him. But if this or that requisite (in my judgement) cannot be obtained, though I be never so diligent, seek never so earnestly, still I distrust and suspect the event, saying in heart, that it cannot prove well. And when my desire is accomplished, the means are still in mine eye, I think my self indebted to such or such friends, never able to requite their kindness, when the chief cause, upon whom all things depend, is much forgotten, not affectionately remembered. In trials I am very tottering, and like a poor cripple who leaneth upon his crutches, easily brought to the ground, ⟨p. 211⟩when sensible helps are taken away. Carnal delights,4 covetousness, love of praise, double diligence about earthly things, and excessive care:
From this ariseth impatience, murmuring, discontent, vnquietnesse, when outward things are wanting:1 For did the heart cleaue fast vnto God, it would rest quiet in his promise, if all other things were lacking. Selfe-confidence, ⟨p. 210⟩resting in meanes, and leaning vpon them, as lands, riches,2 f•iends, &c. are effects of vnbeliefe. Hee that reioyceth in Christ Iesus can haue no confidence in the flesh. As wee grow downe, denying our wisdome, and all strength wee can make; so doth faith in our great God grow vp; as we swell or be puffed vp in conceit of our wisdome or strength, so doth faith languish or decay. So much as the heart stayeth vpon the creature, it is by sinne with-drawne from the Creator. But my heart is much poysoned with selfe-sufficiencie: I feele my selfe apt to leane vpon mine owne deuices to presume vpon mine owne strength, and so wickedly to depart from God. If meanes be at hand I grow secure, forgetting, that further then God doth send forth his Word, they can doe nothing. If meanes be wanting, I faint, or at least, am greatly distracted, not remembring that it is all one with God to saue with many as with few, with small or no meanes as great. If I enioy the things I would, I thinke much vpon the meanes, ascribe little to Gods blessing: my affections do worke more liuely on this or that which fell out (as men speake) more luckily, then on the blessing of God, which is all in all. In any matter of weight concerning liueli-hood or state, I am readie to plod what friends I can make, what meanes be present, what likelihoods of good successe, and here I rest, not seeking to the Lord,3 though all iudgement come from him. But if this or that requisite (in my iudgement) cannot bee obtained, though I be neuer so diligent, seeke neuer so earnestly, still I distrust and suspect the euent, saying in heart, that it cannot proue well. And when my desire is accomplished, the meanes are still in mine eye, I thinke my selfe indebted to such or such friends, neuer able to requite their kindnesse, when the chiefe cause, vpon whom all things depend, is much forgotten, not affectionately remembred. In trials I am very tottering, and like a poore creeple who leaneth vpon his crutches, easily brought to the ground, ⟨p. 211⟩when sensible helpes are taken away. Carnall delights,4
- 1Psal 78.19, 21, 22. Numb. 14.27.
- 2Rom 10.3. Jer. 17.5. Psal. 40.4. & 52.7. Phil. 3.3. Jer. 9.13.Rom 10.3. Ier. 17.5. Psal. 40.4. & 52.7. Phil. 3.3. Ier. 9.13.
- 3Prou. 29.26.
- 4Math. 6.30. John 12.43. & 5.44. Math. 14 31. Mark 8.16, 17.Math. 6.30. Iohn 12.43. & 5.44. Math. 14 31. Marke 8.16, 17.
