Nor hath my sloth and negligence to seek evidence, get assurance, and enter possession of that glorious inheritance, by growing up in peace, joy, holiness and sanctification, been less odious, then former carelessness. Since I have been enlightened, and tasted of the heavenly gift, I have slighted the promises of mercy, which should have been my continual meditation; I have neglected to get and keep the holy spirit, holy in it self, making ⟨p. 271⟩them holy in whom as temples it dwelleth, the seal and earnest of the promised inheritance. Ah, what a dwarf am I in holiness and sanctification? for these many years how little have I gained? My spiritual sight is exceeding dim, my passions boisterous, my heart unquiet, my thoughts evil, my nature corrupt. I am dull to good, apt to sin, feeble and of no power to withstand temptations, shaken with many fears touching my salvation, soon unsettled and removed from steadfastness by any contrary opposition, farthest to seek for evidence and assurance when I stand in greatest need. All this is come upon me through mine own foolishness: because I have not acquainted my self with the promises of grace, nourished the motions of the Spirit, carefully improved the gifts received, endeavoured after perfection, and laboured to be sealed more and more with the promised Spirit. What might I have grown unto in Christ, if I had instantly desired the Spirit of Grace of him who giveth it, heeded the inspirations and suggestions of it, and by all conscionable means? sought increase of grace, and assurance of salvation? Long ere now I might have attained fullness of spiritual wisdom and understanding, strength of faith, power of grace, sweet communion and fellowship with God, liberty and freedom to walk with God, comfortable possession in part, and good assurance of eternal life in due time to be accomplished: whereas by reason of sloth and negligence the powers of grace are so enfeebled, that I can scarce breathe, sigh, crawl in the way to Heaven, my heart is desolate, I am a stranger to the comforts of godliness, terrified with the remembrance of death, ready to faint at the apprehension of trouble and danger, and continually disquieted with fears and doubts touching mine own salvation, if the world with the things thereof have not cast me into the sleep of security for a season.
Nor hath my slouth and negligence to seeke euidence, get assurance, and enter possession of that glorious inheritance, by growing vp in peace, ioy, holinesse and sanctification, been lesse od•ous, then former carelessenesse. Since I haue been enlightned, and tasted of the heauenly gift, I haue sleighted the promises of mercy, which should haue been my continuall meditation; I haue neglected to get and keepe the holy spirit, holy in it selfe, making ⟨p. 271⟩them holy in whom as temples it dwelleth, the seale and earnest of the promised inheritance. Ah, what a dwarfe am I in holinesse and sanctification? for these many yeares how little haue I gained? My spirituall sight is exceeding dimme, my passions boisterous, my heart vnquiet, my thoughts euill, my nature corrupt. I am dull to good, apt to sinne, feeble and of no power to withstand temptations, shaken with many feares touching my saluation, soone vnsetled and remoued from stedfastnesse by any contrarie opposition, farthest to seeke for euidence and assurance when I stand in greatest need. All this is come vpon me through mine owne foolishnesse: because I haue not acquainted my selfe with the promises of grace, nourished the motions of the Spirit, carefully improued the gifts receiued, endeauoured after perfection, and laboured to bee sealed more and more with the promised Spirit. What might I haue growen vnto in Christ, if I had instantly desired the Spirit of Grace of him who giueth it, heeded the inspirations and suggestions of it, and by all conscionable meanes? sought increase of grace, and assurance of saluation? Long ere now I might haue attained fulnesse of spirituall wisdome and vnderstanding, strength of faith, power of grace, sweet communion and fellowship with God, libertie and freedome to walke with God, comfortable possession in part, and good assurance of eternall life in due time to bee accomplished: whereas by reason of sloth and negligence the powers of grace are so enfeebled, that I can scarce breathe, sigh, crawle in the way to Heauen, my heart is desolate, I am a stranger to the comforts of godlinesse, terrified with the remembrance of death, readie to faint at the apprehension of trouble and danger, and continually disquieted with feares and doubts touching mine owne saluation, if the world with the things thereof haue not cast mee into the sleepe of securitie for a season.
