The Soul's Preparation for Christ

No, it is your continual course. And you repent; No you cannot, you cannot, you are hardened. And you hope the word will work upon you; No, no, it is cursed unto you. Thus meditation exacts use upon use, until the blood of the soul be sucked up. Meditation breaks the soul, and layeth weight upon the soul, in this case. It is a passage remarkable of Peter, the text saith, when our Saviour told Peter, that before the cock crew twice, he should deny him thrice; in the last verse of the chapter, the second time the cock crew, & Peter remembered the words of our Saviour, & when he thought thereupon, he went out and wept bitterly: the word in the original is this, the holy man catched all together, and heaped all the circumstances together, and reasoned thus; the cock crows, now I remember the words of Christ: oh what a wretch am I, that should deny such a master that called me; such a master as found me, such a master as was merciful unto me? when I never saw my self, nor my sins, he plucked me out from my sins: It is that master I have denied, he came to do me good, & to save me, and I have denied him: Nay, even at a dead lift, if ever I should have defended him, I should have defended him now, if ever stood for him, I should have stood for him now, but to deny my master, and forswear him, that I should do it, an Apostle beloved, an Apostle thus honoured, that I should do it, when I professed the contrary, what, such a master denied by me such an Apostle ⟨p. 88⟩at such a time, before such persons, and forced to it by such a silly maiden. All these sinful circumstances, the manner of them, the nature of them, the heinousness of them, the holy Apostle laid all these to his heart, and his heart sunk under these circumstances thus gathered together, and he went out and wept bitterly. Look as it is in war, were there many scores that came against an army, they might be conquered, or many hundreds might be resisted; but if many thousands should come against a small army, it would be in danger to be overcome. Meditation leadeth as it were an army of arguments, an army of curses, and miseries, and judgements, against the soul, how ever one misery or plague will not down, but a man may brook it, and go away with it, yet meditation brings an army of arguments, and tells the soul, God is against thee wherever thou art, & what ever thou dost.

No, it is your continuall course. And you repent; No you cannot, you cannot, you are hardened. And you hope the word will worke upon you; No, no, it is cursed unto you. Thus meditation exacts use upon use, until the blood of the soule be sucked up. Meditation breakes the soule, and layeth waight upon the soule, in this case. It is a passage remarkable of Peter, the text saith, when our Saviour told Peter, that before the cock crew twice, he should deny him thrice; in the last verse of the chapter, the second time the cocke crew, & Peter remembred the words of our Saviour, & when he thought therupon, he went out and wept bitterly: the word in the originall is this, the holy man catcht all together, and heaped all the circumstances together, and reasoned thus; the cocke crowes, now I remember the words of Christ: oh what a wretch am I, that should deny such a master that called me; such a master as found me, such a master as was mercifull unto me? when I never saw my selfe, nor my sinnes, he plucked me out from my sinnes: It is that master I have denyed, he came to doe me good, & to save me, and I have denyed him: Nay, even at a dead lift, if ever I should have defended him, I should have defended him now, if ever stood for him, I should have stood for him now, but to deny my master, and forsweare him, that I should do it, an Apostle beloved, an Apostle thus honored, that I should doe it, when I professed the contrary, what, such a master denied by me such an Apostle