The Soul's Preparation for Christ

Now it may be there comes this fear and hand-writing against him; and who knows but that it may be thus with thee, whosoever thou art: for this is a note of the child of the devil, to hate Gods servants, and ministers. Now when a wicked man hears this, he saith, the word of God was professedly spoken against him, and these are my sins, and these are the Judgements and plagues threatened against them, and therefore why may not I be damned? and why may I not be plagued? and thus his heart is full of fear, & ⟨p. 140⟩he begins to reason with himself; what, is this the nature of sin? and are these the Judgments of God denounced against sinful creatures? why then, what if God should lay these Judgements upon my soul? and who knoweth but God will do so to me this day; pluck me out of the land of the living? I am sure my sins are such, and Gods Judgements are such threatened against them, and therefore why may not this be? and when he goeth to bed he reasoneth thus; what if I never rise more? and when he goeth from home, what if I never return more? and God may take me with my meat in my mouth, and cast me down into hell fire for ever. The soul being in this estate, and the heart being thus pestered and plagued with the fear of Gods wrath that followeth a man like a Jailer, he is hindered still that he cannot sin so freely, but still the wrath of God pursueth him, and saith, Do you not fear that God may take you away in the act of sinning, and in the middest of your chambering and wantonness? The heart being thus pestered with this fear, it is not able to endure it, he labours to drive away this trouble and dread from his mind, and still he thinks God is against him, and he hears some behind him saying, Thou must come to Judgement and be plagued: Now the soul labours to drink away and play away this Sorrow. Another man haply that was a prodigal before, riseth now early and will be exceedingly busied about his occasions all the day long, that these things may take up his mind; & ⟨p. 141⟩the reason is, there lieth something at the heart and he cannot tell which way to drive away his fear, but he labours all in vain: For this is to make up walls with untempered mortar which will presently fall down; it is as much as a man should labour to ease himself of sin by sinning, to give a man cold drink in a hot burning fever.

Now it may be there comes this feare and hand-writing against him; and who knowes but that it may be thus with thee, whosoever thou art: for this is a note of the child of the devill, to hate Gods servants, and ministers. Now when a wicked man heares this, he saith, the word of God was profestly spoken against him, and these are my sinnes, and these are the Judgements and plagues threatned against them, and therefore why may not I be damned? and why may I not be plagued? and thus his heart is full of feare, &