so is it in him only to appoint the time when it shall come, & how much and how strongly it shall be given at all times, which is not at all times like, but sometimes so strong, that nothing can make the faithful man afraid, no not death it self, and sometimes it is so strong, that it maketh the man afflicted to be contented to suffer: yea, death it self, rather then to offend God. But yet it is with much conflict, great troubles, many heavy & marvellous cogitations, & sometime with such a fear, as the man hath much ado to see, & feel, in the latter end of his heavy conflict, the victory and upper hand of the temptation. And at an other time the Christian man shall find such heaviness, oppression of sin, and troubles, that he shall not feel as much (in manner) as one spark of faith to comfort him self in the trouble of his mind,1 (as he thinketh:) but that all the floods and dreadful assaults of desperation have their course through his conscience. Nothing feeleth he, but his own mind and poor conscience, one so to eat the other, that the conflict is more pain to him then death it self: he understandeth that GOD is able to do all things, he confesseth with the knowledge of his mind, and with his tongue in his head, that God is true and merciful, he would have his conscience and heart to agree thereunto and be quiet: but the conscience is pricked and oppressed so much with fear & doubtfulness of Gods ire for sin, that he thinketh God can be merciful unto other, but not unto him. And thus doth his knowledge for the time of temptation, rather trouble him, then ease him, ⟨p. 30⟩because his heart doth not, or rather can not consent unto the knowledge: yet would he rather then his life, he could consent unto God, love God, hate sin, & be Gods altogether, although he suffered for it all the pains of the world. I have known in many good men, and many good women, this trouble and heaviness of the spirit for the time, as though God had clean hid him self from the afflicted person, and had clean forsaken him: yet at length, the day of light from above, and the comfort of the holy spirit hath appeared, that lay covered under the veil and covert of bitter cogitations of Gods just judgements against sin.2
so is it in him only to appoint the time when it shall come, & how much and how strongly it shal be giuen at al times, which is not at all times like, but sometimes so strong, that nothing can make the faithfull man afraid, no not death it selfe, and sometimes it is so strong, that it maketh the man afflicted to be contented to suffer: yea, death it selfe, rather then to offend God. But yet it is with much cōflict, great troubles, many heauie & meruelous cogitations, & somtime with such a feare, as the man hath much ado to sée, & féele, in the latter end of his heauie conflict, the victorie and vpper hand of the temptation. And at an other time the Christian man shal finde such heauinesse, oppression of sinne, and troubles, that he shal not féele as much (in manner) as one sparke of faith to comfort him selfe in the trouble of his minde,1 (as he thinketh:) but that all the floudes and dreadfull assaultes of desperation haue their course through his conscience. Nothing féeleth he, but his owne minde and poore conscience, one so to eate the other, that the conflict is more paine to him then death it selfe: he vnderstandeth that GOD is able to doe all thinges, he confesseth with the knowledge of his minde, and with his toung in his head, that God is true and mercifull, he would haue his conscience and heart to agrée therevnto and be quiet: but the conscience is pricked and oppressed so muche with feare & doubtfulnesse of Gods ire for sinne, that he thinketh God can be mercifull vnto other, but not vnto him. And thus doth his knowlege for the time of temptation, rather trouble him, then ease him, ⟨p. 30⟩bicause his heart doth not, or rather can not consent vnto the knowledge: yet would he rather then his life, he could consent vnto God, loue God, hate sinne, & be Gods altogether, although he suffered for it al ye paines of the worlde. I haue knowne in many good men, and many good women, this trouble and heauinesse of the spirit for the time, as though God had cleane hid him self from the afflicted person, and had cleane forsaken him: yet at length, the day of light from aboue, and the comfort of the holy spirite hath appeared, that lay couered vnder the veile and couert of bitter cogitations of Gods iust iudgements against sinne.2
- 1The state of Gods children beaten downwith the sense & horror of sin and dread of gods judgments.The state of Gods children beaten downwith the sense & horrour of sin and dread of gods iudgments.
- 2The comfort of the afflicted even when God seemeth to have forsaken them.The comfort of the afflicted euen when God seemeth to haue forsaken them.
