To begin this concord well, it is 1necessary to learn one another's nature, and one another's affections, and one another's infirmities, because ye must be helpers, and ye cannot help, unless ye know the disease. Al the jars almost which do trouble this band, do rise of this, that one doth not hit the measure of the others heart, to apply themselves to either nature, whereby it cometh to pass, that neither can refrain, when either is offended; but one sharpneth another, when they had need to be calmed: Therefore they must learn of Paul, to fashion 2themselves one to the other, if they would win one another, and if any jar do arise, in no wise divide ⟨p. 60⟩beds for it; for them the Sun goeth down upon their wrath, and the means of reconcilement 3is taken away. Give passions no time; for if some mans anger stand but a night, it turneth to malice which is incurable. The Apostle saith, that there will be offences in 4the Church; so sure there will be many offences in Marriage: but as he saith, these are but trials who have faith; so these are trials who are good husbands, and who are good wives. His anger must be such a mood, as if he did chide with himself, and their strife as it were a sauce made of purpose to sharpen their love when it waxeth unpleasant; like Jonathans arrows which were not shot to hurt, but 5to give warning. Knowing once a couple which were both choleric, & yet never fell out, I asked ⟨p. 61⟩the man how they did order the 6matter that their infirmity did not make them discord. He answered me, when her fit is upon her, I yield to her, as Abraham did to Sarah, and when my fit is upon me, she yields to me, and so we never strive together but a sunder. Me thought it was a good example to commend unto all married folks; for every one hath his frenzy, and loveth them that can bear his infirmity. Whom will a woman suffer if she will not suffer her husband; and whose defects will a man bear, if he will not bear hers which beareth his? Thus much of their duties in general, now to their several offices.
To begin this concord well, it is 1necessarie to learne one anothers nature, and one anothers affections, and one anothers infirmities, because ye must be helpers, and ye cannot help, vnlesse ye know the disease. Al the iarres almost which do trouble this band, do rise of this, that one dooth not hit the measure of the others heart, to applie themselues to either nature, whereby it commeth to passe, that neyther can refraine, when either is offended; but one sharpneth another, when they had need to bee calmed: Therefore they must learne of Paule, to fashion 2themselues one to the other, if they would win one another, and if any iarre do arise, in no wise diuide ⟨p. 60⟩beds for it; for thē the Sunne goeth downe vppon their wrath, and the meanes of reconcilement 3is taken away. Giue passions no time; for if some mans anger stand but a night, it turneth to malice which is incurable. The Apostle saith, that there will be offences in 4the Church; so sure there will be many offences in Marriage: but as he saith, these are but trials who haue faith; so these are trials who are good husbands, and who are good wiues. His anger must bee such a moode, as if hee did chide with himselfe, and their strife as it were a sauce made of purpose to sharpen their loue when it waxeth vnpleasant; like Ionathans arrowes which were not shot to hurt, but 5to giue warning. Knowing once a couple which were both chollericke, & yet neuer fell out, I asked ⟨p. 61⟩the man how they did order the 6matter that their infirmitie did not make them discorde. He answered me, when her fit is vppon her, I yeeld to her, as Abraham did to Sara, and when my fit is vppon me, she yeelds to me, and so we neuer striue together but a sunder. Me thought it was a good example to commend vnto all married folkes; for euerie one hath his frensie, and loueth them that can beare his infirmitie. Whom will a woman suffer if she will not suffer her husband; and whose defects will a man beare, if hee will not beare hers which beareth his? Thus much of their dueties in generall, now to their seuerall offices.
- 1They must learn one anothers nature.They must learne one anothers nature.
- 21 Cor. 9. 20
- 3Ephe. 4. 25.
- 41. Cor. 11. 19.
- 51. Sam 20. 20.
- 6A sweet example, teaching how copl•• shall never fall out. G••. 1•. 6.A sweete example, teachin• how copl•• shall neuer fall out. G••. 1•. 6.