A preparative to marriage The sum whereof was spoken at a contract, and enlarged…A preparatiue to mariage The summe whereof was spoken at a contract, and inlarged…
A preparative to marriage The sum whereof was spoken at a contract, and enlarged after. Whereunto is annexed a treatise of the Lords Supper, and another of usury. By Henry Smith.A preparatiue to mariage The summe whereof was spoken at a contract, and inlarged after. Whereunto is annexed a treatise of the Lords Supper, and another of vsurie. By Henrie Smith.
Henry Smith 1550?–1591London: printed by Thomas Orwin for Thomas Man, 1591
Modern spelling is a reading aid: the words are the author’s, only the spelling is modernized. Original shows the page as printed, with the transcription marks.
To pass over sleights, which 1seldom prosper, unless they have some warrant. The best policy in Marriage, is to begin well, for as boards well joined at first, sit close ever after, but if they square at first, they warp more and more. So they which are well joined, are well married, but they which offend their love before it be settled, fade every day like a Marigold, which closeth her flower ⟨p. 59⟩as the Sun goeth down, till they hate one another more then they loved at first.
To passe ouer sleights, which 1seldom prosper, vnlesse they haue some warrant. The best pollicie in Marriage, is to begin well, for as bourds well ioyned at first, sit close euer after, but if they square at first, they warp more and more. So they which are well ioyned, are well married, but they which offend their loue before it be setled, fade euery day like a Marigould, which closeth her flower ⟨p. 59⟩as the Sunne goeth downe, till they hate one another more then they loued at first.
1Best policy in marriage to begin well.Best pollicie in marriage to begin well.
To begin this concord well, it is 1necessary to learn one another's nature, and one another's affections, and one another's infirmities, because ye must be helpers, and ye cannot help, unless ye know the disease. Al the jars almost which do trouble this band, do rise of this, that one doth not hit the measure of the others heart, to apply themselves to either nature, whereby it cometh to pass, that neither can refrain, when either is offended; but one sharpneth another, when they had need to be calmed: Therefore they must learn of Paul, to fashion
is taken away. Give passions no time; for if some mans anger stand but a night, it turneth to malice which is incurable. The Apostle saith, that there will be offences in
the Church; so sure there will be many offences in Marriage: but as he saith, these are but trials who have faith; so these are trials who are good husbands, and who are good wives. His anger must be such a mood, as if he did chide with himself, and their strife as it were a sauce made of purpose to sharpen their love when it waxeth unpleasant; like Jonathans arrows which were not shot to hurt, but
matter that their infirmity did not make them discord. He answered me, when her fit is upon her, I yield to her, as Abraham did to Sarah, and when my fit is upon me, she yields to me, and so we never strive together but a sunder. Me thought it was a good example to commend unto all married folks; for every one hath his frenzy, and loveth them that can bear his infirmity. Whom will a woman suffer if she will not suffer her husband; and whose defects will a man bear, if he will not bear hers which beareth his? Thus much of their duties in general, now to their several offices.
To begin this concord well, it is 1necessarie to learne one anothers nature, and one anothers affections, and one anothers infirmities, because ye must be helpers, and ye cannot help, vnlesse ye know the disease. Al the iarres almost which do trouble this band, do rise of this, that one dooth not hit the measure of the others heart, to applie themselues to either nature, whereby it commeth to passe, that neyther can refraine, when either is offended; but one sharpneth another, when they had need to bee calmed: Therefore they must learne of Paule, to fashion 2themselues one to the other, if they would win one another, and if any iarre do arise, in no wise diuide ⟨p. 60⟩beds for it; for thē the Sunne goeth downe vppon their wrath, and the meanes of reconcilement 3is taken away. Giue passions no time; for if some mans anger stand but a night, it turneth to malice which is incurable. The Apostle saith, that there will be offences in 4the Church; so sure there will be many offences in Marriage: but as he saith, these are but trials who haue faith; so these are trials who are good husbands, and who are good wiues. His anger must bee such a moode, as if hee did chide with himselfe, and their strife as it were a sauce made of purpose to sharpen their loue when it waxeth vnpleasant; like Ionathans arrowes which were not shot to hurt, but 5to giue warning. Knowing once a couple which were both chollericke, & yet neuer fell out, I asked ⟨p. 61⟩the man how they did order the 6matter that their infirmitie did not make them discorde. He answered me, when her fit is vppon her, I yeeld to her, as Abraham did to Sara, and when my fit is vppon me, she yeelds to me, and so we neuer striue together but a sunder. Me thought it was a good example to commend vnto all married folkes; for euerie one hath his frensie, and loueth them that can beare his infirmitie. Whom will a woman suffer if she will not suffer her husband; and whose defects will a man beare, if hee will not beare hers which beareth his? Thus much of their dueties in generall, now to their seuerall offices.
1They must learn one anothers nature.They must learne one anothers nature.
The man may spell his duty out of his name, for he is called 1the Head: to show, that as the eye, ⟨p. 62⟩and the tongue, and the ear, are in the head to direct the whole body, so the man should be stored with wisdom, and understanding, and knowledge, and discretion, to direct his whole family, for it is not right that the worse should rule the better, but that the better should rule the worse, as the best rules all. The husband saith, that his wife must obey him because he is her better, therefore if he let her be better than himself, he seems to free her from her obedience, and bind himself to obey her.
The man may spell his duety out of his name, for he is called 1the Head: to shew, that as the eye, ⟨p. 62⟩and the toong, and the eare, are in the head to direct the whole bodie, so the man should be stored with wisedome, and vnderstanding, and knowledge, and discretion, to direct his whole familie, for it is not right that the worse should rule the better, but that the better should rule the worse, as the best rules all. The husband saith, that his wife must obay him because he is her better, therefore if he let her be better than himselfe, he seemes to free her from her obedience, and binde himselfe to obey her.
His first duty is called Hearting, that is, hearty affection. As they 1are handfasted, so they must be hartfasted, for the eye, and the tongue, and the hand, will be her enemies, if the hart be not her friend. As Christ draweth all the ⟨p. 63⟩Commandments to Love, so I may draw all their duties to love, which is the hearts gift to the Bride. First, he must choose his love, and then he must love his choice, this is the oil which maketh all things casie. In Solomons Song, which is nothing else but a description of Christ the Bridegroom, and the Church his Spouse, one calleth the other Love, to show, that though both do not honour alike, yet both should love alike, which the man may do without subjection.
His first duty is called Harting, that is, hartie affection. As they 1are handfasted, so they must be hartfasted, for the eye, and the toong, and the hand, will be her enemies, if the hart be not her friend. As Christ draweth all the ⟨p. 63⟩Commandements to Loue, so I may draw all their duties to loue, which is the hearts gift to the Bride. First, hee must choose his loue, and then he must loue hys choice, this is the oyle which maketh all things casie. In Salomons Song, which is nothing else but a description of Christ the Bridegroome, and the Church hys Spouse, one calleth the other Loue, to shewe, that though both doe not honour alike, yet both should loue alike, which the man may do without subiection.
1The husbands first duty.The husbands first dutie.
The man is to his wife, in the 1place of Christ to his Church: therefore the Apostle requireth such an affection of him toward his Spouse, as Christ beareth toward his Spouse: for he sayeth, Husbands love your Wives as Christ 2loved the congregation, that is, with ⟨p. 64⟩a holy love, with a hearty love, and with a constant love, as the Church would be loved of Christ. Will not a man love his glory? Why Paul calleth the woman the glory of the man, for her reverence 3makes him to be reverenced, and her praise, makes him to be praised. Therefore he which loveth not his Wife, loveth his shame, because she is his glory. In Ephes. 5. 28. Paul saith, He which loveth his Wife, loveth himself, for 4thereby he enjoyeth peace and comfort, and help to himself in all his affairs: therefore in the same verse Paul counselleth husbands to love their wives as their bodies. And after, in the 33. verse, as though it were too little to love them as their bodies, he saith, Let every one love his Wife as himself, that is, body and soul too. For if ⟨p. 65⟩God commanded men to love their neighbours as themselves, 5much more are they bound to love their wives as themselves, which are their next neighbours. As Elkanah did not love his wife 6less for her barrenness, but said, Am not I better unto thee than ten sons? as though he favoured her more, for that which she thought her self despised. So a good husband will not take occasion to love his wife less for her infirmities, but comfort her more for them, as this man did, that she may bear with his infirmities too. When Christ saith, that a man 7should leave Father and Mother, to cleave to his Wife, he signifieth, how Christ left his Father for his Spouse, and that man doth not love his wife so much as he should until he affect her more than ever ⟨p. 66⟩he did his father or mother. Therefore when GOD bad Abraham forsake all his kindred: yet he bad him not forsake his Wife. As 8though the other sometime might be forsaken for God, but the wife must be kept for GOD, like a charge which bindeth for term of life.
The man is to his wife, in the 1place of Christ to his Church: therefore the Apostle requireth such an affection of him toward his Spouse, as Christ beareth toward his Spouse: for he sayeth, Husbands loue your Wiues as Christ 2loued the congregation, that is, with ⟨p. 64⟩a holie loue, with a hartie loue, and with a constant loue, as the Church wold be loued of Christ. Will not a man loue his glorie? Why Paule calleth the woman the glorie of the man, for her reuerence 3makes him to be reuerenced, and her praise, makes him to be praised. Therefore he which loueth not his Wife, loueth his shame, because she is his glorie. In Ephes. 5. 28. Paule saith, He which loueth his Wife, loueth himselfe, for 4thereby he inioyeth peace and comfort, and helpe to himselfe in all his affaires: therefore in the same verse Paule counselleth husbands to loue their wiues as their bodies. And after, in the 33. verse, as though it were too little to loue them as their bodies, he sayth, Let euerie one loue his Wife as himselfe, that is, body and soule too. For if ⟨p. 65⟩God commaunded men to loue their neighbours as themselues, 5much more are they bound to loue their wiues as themselues, which are their next neighbours. As Elkanah did not loue his wife 6lesse for her barrennes, but sayd, Am not I better vnto thee than tenne sonnes? as though he fauoured her more, for that which she thought her selfe despised. So a good husband will not take occasion to loue his wife lesse for her infirmities, but comfort her more for them, as this man did, that she may beare with his infirmities too. When Christ sayth, that a man 7should leaue Father and Mother, to cleaue to his Wife, hee signifieth, how Christ left his Father for his Spouse, and that man doth not loue his wife so much as he should vntill he affect her more than euer
1Understand in his marriage only.Vnderstand in his marriage only.
His next duty to love, is a fruit 1of his love, that is, to let all things be common between them, which were private before. The man & wife are partners like two owers 2in a boat, therefore he must divide offices, and affairs, & goods with her, causing her to be feared and reverenced, and obeyed of her children & servants like himself; for she is as an under officer in his Common weal, and therefore she must be assisted & borne out, like his deputy, as the Prince standeth ⟨p. 67⟩with his Magistrates for his own quiet, because they are the legs which bear him up. To show this community between husband and wife, he is to maintain her as he doth himself, because Christ saith, They are no more two but one. 3Therefore when he maintaineth her, he must think it but one charge, because he maintaineth no moe but himself, for they two are one. He may not say as Husbands are wont to say, that which is thine is mine, and that which is mine is my own: but that which is mine is thine, and my self too. For as it is said, He which hath given us his 4Son, can he deny us any thing? So she may say, he which hath given me himself, can he deny me any thing? The body is better than the goods; therefore if the body be mine, the goods are mine too.
His next duetie to loue, is a fruit 1of his loue, that is, to let all things be cōmon betweene them, which were priuate before. The man & wife are partners like two owers 2in a boate, therefore hee must diuide offices, and affaires, & goods with her, causing her to bee feared and reuerenced, and obeied of her children & seruants like himselfe; for she is as an vnder officer in his Common weale, and therefore she must be assisted & borne out, like his deputie, as the Prince standeth ⟨p. 67⟩with his Magistrates for his owne quiet, because they are the legges which beare him vp. To shew this communitie betweene husband and wife, he is to maintaine her as he dooth himselfe, because Christ saith, They are no more two but one. 3Therefore when hee maintaineth her, hee must thinke it but one charge, because he maintaineth no moe but himself, for they two are one. He may not say as Husbands are wōt to say, that which is thine is mine, and that which is mine is my owne: but that which is mine is thine, and my selfe too. For as it is sayd, He which hath giuen vs his 4Sonne, can he denie vs any thing? So she may say, he which hath giuen me himselfe, can he denie me any thing? The bodie is better than the goodes; therefore if the bodie be mine, the goods are mine too.
Lastly, he must tender her as much as all her friends, because he 1hath taken her from her friends, and covenanted to tender her for them all. To show how he should tender her, Peter saith, Honour the 2woman as the weaker vessel. As we do not handle glasses like pots, because they are weaker vessels, but touch them nicely and softly for fear of cracks; so a man must entreat his wife with gentleness and softness; not expecting that wisdom, nor that faith, nor that patience, nor that strength in the weaker vessel, which should be in the stronger; but think when he takes a wife he takes a Vineyard, not grapes, but a vineyard to bear him grapes: therefore he must sow it, and dress it, and water it, and fence it, and think it a good vineyard if at last it bring forth grapes. ⟨p. 69⟩So he must not look to find a wife without a fault, but think that she is committed to him to reclaim her from her faults; for all are defectives: and if he find the Proverb true, that in space cometh grace, he must rejoice as much at his wife when she mendeth, as the Husbandman rejoiceth when his Vineyard beginneth to fructify.
Lastly, hee must tender her as much as all her friends, because he 1hath taken her from her friends, and couenanted to tender her for them all. To shew how he should tender her, Peter saith, Honour the 2woman as the weaker vessell. As we doo not handle glasses like pots, because they are weaker vessels, but touch thē nicely and softly for feare of cracks; so a man must intreate his wife with gentlenes and softnes; not expecting that wisedome, nor that faith, nor that patience, nor that strength in the weaker vessell, which should be in the stronger; but thinke when he takes a wife he takes a Vineyard, not grapes, but a vineyard to beare him grapes: therfore he must sow it, and dresse it, and water it, and fence it, and thinke it a good vineyard if at last it bring forth grapes. ⟨p. 69⟩So hee must not looke to finde a wife without a fault, but thinke that she is committed to him to reclaime her from her faults; for all are defectiues: and if he finde the Prouerbe true, that in space commeth grace, hee must reioyce as much at his wife when she mendeth, as the Husbandman reioyceth when his Vineyard beginneth to fructifie.
This is far from civill wars 1between man and wife; in all his offices is found no office to fight. The very name of a wife is like the Angel which stayed Abraham's 2hand when the stroke was coming. If David, because he could not express the good and comfort of Unity, was fain to say, Oh 3how good and joyful a thing it is for brethren to dwell together in unity? Then weigh and judge how harsh ⟨p. 70⟩and bitter a thing it is for man and wife to live together in enmity. For the first year after Marriage, God would not have the husband 4go to war with his enemies, but no year would he have him war with his wife, and therefore God gave him that year to stay at home and settle his love, that he might not war, nor jar after: for the God of peace dwelleth not in the house of war. As a kingdom 5cannot stand if it be divided, so a house cannot stand if it be divided: for strife is like fire which leaves nothing but dust, & smoke, and ashes behind it. We read in the Scripture of Masters that stroke their servants, but never of any that stroke his Wife, but rebuked her. Lot was drunk 6when he lay with his daughters in stead of a wife; and is he sober ⟨p. 71⟩which striketh his wife in stead of his servants? The law showeth 7how a bond man should be corrected, but the wife is like a Judge which is joined in Commission with her Husband to correct other. Wilt thou strike one in his own house? no more shouldest thou strike thy wife in her house. She is come to thee as to a Sanctuary, to defend her from hurt, and canst thou hurt her thy self? Therefore Abraham was called Saras 8Veil, because he should shield her; for a Veil is made to save. Abraham said to Lot, Are we not brethren? 9that is, may brethren jar? but they may say, are we not one? can one chide without another? can one fight without another? He is a bad Host, which welcometh his guest with stripes. Doth a King trample his Crown? Solomon ⟨p. 72⟩calleth the wife, the Crown of the husband, therefore he which 10woundeth her, woundeth his honour: She is a free Citizen in thy house, and hath taken the peace of thee the first day of her Marriage, to hold thy hands till she release thee again. Adam saith of his Spouse, This is flesh of my flesh: But no man saith Paul, Ever hated his 11own flesh. So then, if a man ask whether he may strike his wife?
This is farre from ciuill warres 1betweene man and wife; in all his offices is found no office to fight. The very name of a wife is like the Angell which stayed Abrahams 2hand whē the stroke was cō ming. If Dauid, because he could not expresse the good and comfort of Vnitie, was faine to say, Oh 3how good and ioyfull a thing it is for brethren to dwell together in vnitie? Then weigh and iudge how harsh ⟨p. 70⟩and bitter a thing it is for man and wife to liue together in emnitie. For the first yeare after Marriage, God would not haue the husband 4goe to warre with his enemies, but no yeare would he haue him warre with his wife, and therfore God gaue him that yeare to stay at home and settle his loue, that hee might not warre, nor iarre after: for the God of peace dwelleth not in the house of warre. As a kingdome 5cannot stand if it bee diuided, so a house cannot stand if it bee diuided: for strife is like fire which leaues nothing but dust, & smoake, and ashes behind it. We reade in the Scripture of Masters that stroke their seruants, but neuer of any that stroke his Wife, but rebuked her. Lot was drunke 6when hee lay with his daughters in stead of a wife; and is he sober ⟨p. 71⟩which striketh his wife in stead of his seruants? The lawe sheweth 7how a bond man should bee corrected, but the wife is like a Iudge which is ioyned in Commission with her Husband to correct other. Wilt thou strike one in his owne house? no more shouldest thou strike thy wife in her house. She is come to thee as to a Sanctuarie, to defend her from hurt, and canst thou hurt her thy selfe? Therfore Abraham was called Saras 8Vayle, because he should shield her; for a Vaile is made to saue. Abraham said to Lot, Are we not brethren? 9
1Husbands must hold their hands and Wives their tongues.Husbands must hold their hands and Wiues their tungs.
God saith nay, thou mayest not hate thy wife, for no man hateth his own flesh, showing, that he should not come near blows, but think his wrath too much: for Paul saith, Be not bitter to your 1Wives: noting that anger in a husband is a vice. Every man is ashamed to lay hands on a woman, because she cannot match him, therefore he is a shameless man which ⟨p. 73⟩layeth hands on his wife. If a man be seen raging with himself, he is carried to Bedlam; so these mad men which beat themselves should be sent to Bedlam till their madness be gone. Solomon saith, Delight continually 2in her love: that is, begin, proceed and end in love. This counsel is broken so often as they discord. In revenge whereof, he showeth that their delight is gone, because he calleth Love their delight. Therefore as Paul saith of Bishops, A Bishop must be no striker; 3so a Husband must be no striker, for he which striketh his own flesh, breaketh that law which saith, Thou shalt not make a scar in thy flesh: and is like the Baalites which wounded their own bodies. Thus we have sent a letter unto Husbands to read before they fight. Now let us go home ⟨p. 74⟩to Love again. Wouldest thou learn how to make thy match delightful? Solomon said, Rejoice in her love continually. As though thou 4couldst not delight without love, and with love thou mightest delight continually. Therefore Love is called the thankful virtue, because it rendereth peace, and ease, and comfort to him that makes of her. So much to Husbands.
God sayth nay, thou mayest not hate thy wife, for no man hateth his owne flesh, shewing, that he should not come neere blowes, but thinke his wrath too much: for Paule saith, Be not bitter to your 1Wiues: noting that anger in a husband is a vice. Euery man is ashamed to lay hands on a woman, because she cannot match him, therfore he is a shamelesse man which ⟨p. 73⟩laieth hands on his wife. If a man be seene raging with himselfe, he is carried to Bedlam; so these mad men which beate thēselues should be sent to Bedlam til their madnes be gone. Salomon saith, Delight continually 2in her loue: that is, begin, proceede and ende in loue. This counsel is broken so often as they discord. In reuenge whereof, he sheweth that their delight is gone, because he calleth Loue their delight. Therefore as Paule saith of Bishops, A Bishop must be no striker; 3so a Husband must bee no striker, for hee which striketh his owne flesh, breaketh that lawe which saith, Thou shalt not make a skarre in thy flesh: and is like the Baalites which wounded their owne bodies. Thus wee haue sent a letter vnto Husbands to reade before they fight. Now let vs goe home ⟨p. 74⟩to Loue againe. Wouldest thou learne how to make thy match delightfull? Salomon said, Reioyce in her loue continually. As though thou 4couldst not delight without loue, and with loue thou mightest delight continually. Therefore Loue is called the thankfull vertue, because it rendereth peace, and ease, and comfort to him that makes of her. So much to Husbands.
31. Tim. 3. 31. Of his wife. Leu 19. 28. Deut. 14. 1. 1. Ki. 18. 28 It is properly meant in mourning for the dead, but it doth imply an unlawfulness to hurt our selves,1. Tim. 3. 31. Of his wife. Leu 19. 28. Deut. 14. 1. 1. Ki. 18. 28 It is properly ment in mourning for the dead, but it doth imply an vnlawfulnes to hurt our selues,
Likewise the Woman may 1learn her duty out of her names. They are called goodwives, as goodwife A. and goodwife B. Every Wife is called Goodwife; therefore if they be not goodwives their names do belie them, and they are not worth their titles, but answer to a wrong name as Players do upon a stage. This name pleaseth them well: but beside this a Wife is called a Yoke fellow, to ⟨p. 75⟩2show that she should help her Husband to bear his yoke, that is, his grief must be her grief; and whether it be the yoke of poverty, or the yoke of envy, or the yoke of sickness, or the yoke of imprisonment, she must submit her neck to bear it patiently with him, or else she is not his yoke fellow, but his yoke, as though she were inflicted upon him for a penalty, like Jobs Wife whom the 3devil left to torment him, when he took away all beside. The Apostle 4biddeth to rejoice with them that rejoice, and mourn with them that mourn. With whom should the Wife rejoice rather than with her Husband? or with whom should she mourn willinger than with her own flesh? I will not leave thee, saith Elisha to Elijah: so she should never ⟨p. 76⟩5leave him till death. Bear one another's 6burden (saith Paul) who shall bear others burden if the Wife do not bear her Husbands burden? Wicked Jezebel comforted her Husband in his sickness, and 7Jeroboam's Wife sought for his health, though she was as bad as he. God did not bid Sarah leave her father, and her Country, as he 8bad her husband, yet because he bad Abraham leave his, she left hers too, showing that she was con tent not only to be his playfellow, but his yoke fellow too. Beside a yoke fellow, she is called a Helper, to help him in his business, to help him in his labours, 9to help him in his troubles, to help him in his sickness, like a woman Physician, sometime with her strength, and sometime with her counsel: for sometime as God ⟨p. 77⟩confoundeth the wise by the foolish, and the strong by the weak, 10so he teacheth the wife by the foolish, and helpeth the strong by the weak. Therefore Peter sayeth, Husbands are won by the conversation of their Wives. As if he should 11say, sometime the weaker vessel is the stronger vessel, and Abraham 12may take counsel of Sarah, as Naaman was advised by his servant.
Likewise the Woman maye 1learn her duetie out of her names. They are called goodwiues, as goodwife A. and goodwife B. Euery Wife is called Goodwife; therfore if they be not goodwiues their names doo belie them, and they are not worth their titles, but answer to a wrong name as Players doo vpon a stage. This name pleaseth them wel: but beside this a Wife is called a Yoke fellowe, to ⟨p. 75⟩2shewe that she should helpe her Husband to beare his yoke, that is, his griefe must bee her griefe; and whether it bee the yoke of pouertie, or the yoke of enuie, or the yoke of sicknesse, or the yoke of imprisonment, she must submit her neck to beare it patiently with him, or els she is not his yoke fellowe, but his yoke, as though she were inflicted vpon him for a penaltie, like Iobs Wife whome the 3diuell left to torment him, when he tooke away all beside. The Apostle 4biddeth to reioyce with them that reioyce, and mourne with them that mourne. With whom should the Wife reioyce rather than with her Husband? or with whome should she mourne willinger than with her owne flesh? I will not leaue thee, saith Elisha to Eliah: so she should neuer ⟨p. 76⟩5leaue him till death. Beare one anothers 6burden (saith Paule) who shall beare others burden if the Wife doo not beare her Husbands burden? Wicked Iezabel comforted her Husband in his sicknesse, and 7Ieroboams Wife sought for his health, though she was as bad as he. God did not bid Sarah leaue her father, and her Countrey, as he 8bad her husband, yet because hee bad Abraham leaue his, she left hers too, shewing that she was cō tent not onely to bee his playfellowe, but his yoke fellowe too. Beside a yoke fellowe, she is called a Helper, to helpe him in his businesse, to helpe him in his labours, 9to helpe him in his troubles, to helpe him in his sicknesse, like a woman Phisition, sometime with her strength, and sometime with her counsell: for sometime as God
1The Shunamites counsel made her Husband receive a Prophet 2into his house, and Hesters counsel made her Husband spare the 3Church: so some have been better helpers to their husbands, than their husbands have bin to them, for it pleaseth God to provoke the wise with the foolish, as he did the Jews with the Gentiles.4
1The Shunamites coūsel made her Husband receiue a Prophet 2into his house, and Hesters counsell made her Husband spare the 3Church: so some haue been better helpers to their husbands, than their husbands haue bin to them, for it pleaseth God to prouoke the wise with the foolish, as he did the Iewes with the Gentiles.4
Beside a Helper, she is called a Comforter too, & therefore the man ⟨p. 78⟩1is bid to rejoice in his Wife, which is as much to say, that Wives must be the rejoicing of their Husbands, even like Davids Harp to comfort Saul. Therefore it is said of Rebekah, that she prepared 2meat for her husband, such as he loved: so a good Wife is known when her words and deeds and countenances are such as her Husband loveth, she must not examine whether he be wise or simple, but that she is his wife, & therefore they which are bound must obey, as Abigail loved her husband though he was a fool: 3for the Wife is as much despised for taking rule over her Husband, as he for yielding it unto her. It becomes not the Mistress to be Master, no more than it beseemeth the Master to be Mistress, but both to sail with their own wind.
Beside a Helper, she is called a Comforter too, & therfore the man ⟨p. 78⟩1is bid to reioyce in his Wife, which is as much to saye, that Wiues must bee the reioycing of their Husbands, euen like Dauids Harpe to comfort Saule. Therfore it is sayd of Rebeccah, that she prepared 2meate for her husband, such as hee loued: so a good Wife is knowne when her wordes and deedes and countenances are such as her Husband loueth, she must not examine whether he bee wise or simple, but that she is his wife, & therfore they which are bound must obey, as Abigail loued her husband though he was a foole: 3for the Wife is as much despised for taking rule ouer her Husband, as he for yeelding it vnto her. It becomes not the Mistris to be Master, no more than it beseemeth the Master to be Mistris, but both to saile with their owne winde.
Lastly, we call the Wife, Housewife, that is, house wife, not a street 1wife like Tamar, nor a field wife like Dinah, but a house wife, to show that a good wife keeps her house: & therefore Paul biddeth 2Titus to exhort women that they be chaste, & keeping at home: presently after Chaste, he saith, keeping at home, as though Home were Chastity's keeper. And therefore Solomon depainting the Whore, 3setteth her at the door, now sitting upon her stalls, now walking in the streets, now looking out of the windows, like curled Jezebel, as if she held forth the glass 4of temptation, for vanity to gaze upon. But Chastity careth to please but one, and therefore she keeps her Closet, as though she were still at prayer. The Angel asked Abraham, where is thy ⟨p. 60⟩wife? Abraham answered, she is 5in the Tent. The Angel knew where she was, but yet he asked, that we might see how Women in old time did keep their tents and houses. It is recorded of the Shunamite, that she did ask her 6Husband leave to go unto the Prophet, though she went to a Prophet, and went of a good errand, and for his cause as much as her own, yet she thought it not meet to go far abroad without her Husbands leave.
Lastly, wee call the Wife, Huswife, that is, house wife, not a street 1wife like Thamar, nor a field wife like Dinah, but a house wife, to shew that a good wife keepes her house: & therefore Paule biddeth 2Titus to exhort women that they be chast, & keeping at home: presently after Chast, he saith, keeping at home, as though Home were Chastities keeper. And therefore Salomon depainting the Whore, 3setteth her at the doore, now sitting vpon her stalls, now walking in the streetes, now looking out of the windowes, like curled Iezabel, as if she held forth the glasse 4of temptation, for vanitie to gaze vppon. But Chastitie careth to please but one, and therefore she keepes her Closet, as though she were still at prayer. The Angell asked Abraham, where is thy ⟨p. 60⟩wife? Abraham answered, she is 5in the Tent. The Angell knewe where she was, but yet hee asked, that we might see how Women in olde time did keepe their tents and houses. It is recorded of the Shunamite, that she did aske her 6Husband leaue to goe vnto the Prophet, though she went to a Prophet, and went of a good errand, and for his cause as much as her owne, yet she thought it not meete to goe farre abroade without her Husbands leaue.
Phidias when he should paint a Woman, painted her sitting under a Snails shell; signifying that she should go like a Snail, which carrieth his house upon his back. Solomon bad Shimei: Go not beyond 1the river: so a Wife should teach her feet, go not beyond the door; she must count the walls ⟨p. 61⟩of her house like the banks of the 2River which Shimei might not pass, if he would please the King. For when 3Adam was away, Eve was made a pray: if her Husband be from her, until he return again, she must think her self a Widow, that is, separate from man: for Vidua doth signify a viro divisa, that is, Widow doth signify divided from man: therefore now she must have no fellowship, no company with men, because she is divided from man.
Phidias when he should paint a Woman, painted her sitting vnder a Snailes shell; signifying that she should goe like a Snaile, which carrieth his house vpon his back. Salomon bad Shimei: Goe not beyond 1the riuer: so a Wife should teach her feete, go not beyond the doore; she must count the walles ⟨p. 61⟩of her house like the bankes of the 2Riuer which Shimei might not passe, if he would please the King. For when 3Adam was away, Eue was made a pray: if her Husband bee from her, vntill hee returne againe, she must thinke her selfe a Widdowe, that is, seperate from man: for Vidua doth signifie a viro diuisa, that is, Widdowe doth signifie diuided from man: therefore now she must haue no fellowship, no companie with men, because she is diuided from man.
2Husbands should not keep their Wives so straight, but Wives should not think their house their prison, but as their Paradise where they would be.Husbands should not keepe their Wiues so straight, but Wiues should not think their house their prison, but as their Paradise where they would be.
As it becometh her to keep home, so it becometh her to keep silence, and alway speak the best of her head. Other seek their honour in triumph, but she must seek her honour in reverence, for 1it becometh not any woman to set light by her husband, nor to publish his infirmities. For they ⟨p. 82⟩say, it is an evil bird that defileth his own nest: and if a Wife use her Husband so, how may the Husband use the Wife? Because this is the quality of that sex, to overthwart, and upbraid, and sue the preeminence of their Husbands, therefore the Philosophers could not tell how to define a Wife, but called her The contrary to a Husband, as though nothing 2were so cross and contrary to a man, as a Wife. This is not Scripture, but no slander to many. As David exalteth the love of women 3above all other loves; so Solomon mounteth the envy of women above all other envies, stubborn, sullen, taunting, gainsaying, outfacing, with such a bitter humour, that one would think they were molten out of the salt pillar into which Lot's Wife was transformed. ⟨p. 83⟩4We say not, all are alike, but this sect hath many Disciples. Doth the rib that is in a mans side fret him, or gall him? no 5more should she which is made of the rib. Though a woman be wise and painful, and have many good parts, yet if she be a shrew, her troublesome jarring in the end will make her honest behaviour unpleasant, as her over pinching at last causeth her good housewifery to be evil spoken off. Therefore although she be a Wife, yet sometime she must observe the servants lesson, Not answering again, & hold 6her peace to keep the peace. Therefore they which keep silence, are well said to hold their peace, because silence oftentimes doth keep the peace, when words would break it.
As it becommeth her to keepe home, so it becommeth her to keep silence, and alway speake the best of her head. Other seeke their honour in triumph, but she must seeke her honour in reuerence, for 1it becommeth not any woman to set light by her husband, nor to publish his infirmities. For they ⟨p. 82⟩say, it is an euill bird that defileth his owne nest: and if a Wife vse her Husband so, how maye the Husband vse the Wife? Because this is the qualitie of that sex, to ouerthwart, and vpbraide, and sue the preheminence of their Husbands, therefore the Philosophers coulde not tell how to define a Wife, but called her The contrarie to a Husband, as though nothing 2were so crosse and contrarie to a man, as a Wife. This is not Scripture, but no slaunder to many. As Dauid exalteth the loue of women 3aboue all other loues; so Salomon mounteth the enuie of women aboue all other enuies, stubborne, sullen, taunting, gainsaying, outfacing, with such a bitter humour, that one would thinke they were molten out of the salt pillar into which Loths Wife was transformed. ⟨p. 83⟩4We say not, all are alike, but this sect hath manie Disciples. Dooth the ribbe that is in a mans side fret him, or gall him? no 5more should she which is made of the ribbe. Though a woman bee wise and painfull, and haue many good parts, yet if she bee a shrewe, her troublesome iarring in the end will make her honest behauiour vnpleasant, as her ouer pinching at last causeth her good huswiferie to be euill spoken off. Therefore although she be a Wife, yet sometime she must obserue the seruants lesson, Not answering againe, & hold 6her peace to keep the peace. Therfore they which keepe silence, are well sayd to holde their peace, because silence oftentimes doth keep the peace, when wordes would breake it.
1A wife may not utter her Husbands saults.A wife may not vtter her Husbāds saults.
To her silence and patience she ⟨p. 64⟩must add The acceptable obedience, which makes a Woman rule while she is ruled. This is the Wives tribute to her Husband; for she is not called his head, but 1he is called her head. Great cause hath man to make much of his wife, for great and many are her duties to him. And therefore Paul saith, Wives submit your selves 2unto your Husbands as to the Lord. Showing that she should regard his will as the Lords will, but 3withal as the Lord commandeth only that which is good & right: so she should obey her Husband in good and right, or else she doth not obey him as the Lord, but as the tempter. The first subjection of Woman began at sin; for when GOD cursed her for seducing her Husband, when the Serpent had seduced her, he said, He ⟨p. 85⟩shall have authority over thee. And 4therefore as the man named all other creatures, in sign that they 5should be subject to him, as a servant which cometh when his Master calleth him by his name; so he did name the woman also in 6token that she should be subject to him likewise. And therefore Ahasuerus made a law, that every man 7should bear rule in his own house, and not the Woman. Because she sinned first, therefore she is humbled most, and ever since the daughters of Sarah are bound to 8call their husbands Lords, as Sarah called her husband, that is, to take them for their Lords, for heads & governors. If ye disdain to follow Abraham's Spouse, the Apostle biddeth you follow Christs Spouse: for he saith, Let a wife be 9subject to her husband, as the Church ⟨p. 86⟩is to Christ. A greater love than this 10(saith Christ) no man can have. So a better example than this no Woman can have.
To her silence and patience she ⟨p. 64⟩must adde The acceptable obedience, which makes a Woman rule while she is ruled. This is the Wiues tribute to her Husband; for she is not called his head, but 1hee is called her head. Great cause hath man to make much of his wife, for great and many are her dueties to him. And therefore Paule saith, Wiues submit your selues 2vnto your Husbands as to the Lord. Shewing that she should regarde his will as the Lordes will, but 3withall as the Lord commandeth only that which is good & right: so she should obey her Husband in good and right, orels she dooth not obey him as the Lord, but as the tempter. The first subiection of Woman began at sinne; for when GOD cursed her for seducing her Husband, when the Serpent had seduced her, he sayd, He ⟨p. 85⟩shall haue authoritie ouer thee. And 4therefore as the man named all other creatures, in signe that they 5should bee subiect to him, as a seruant which commeth when his Master calleth him by his name; so he did name the woman also in 6token that she should be subiect to him likewise. And therefore Asuerus made a lawe, that euery man 7shoulde beare rule in his owne house, and not the Woman. Because she sinned first, therefore she is humbled most, and euer since the daughters of Sara are bound to 8call their husbands Lords, as Sara called her husband, that is, to take them for their Lords, for heads & gouernours. If ye disdaine to followe Abrahams Spouse, the Apostle biddeth you followe Christs Spouse: for he saith, Let a wife bee 9subiect to her husband, as the Church ⟨p. 86⟩
though the other somtime might be forsaken for God, but the wife must bee kept for GOD, like a charge which bindeth for tearme of life.
that is, may brethren iarre? but they may say, are we not one? can one chide without another? can one fight without another? He is a bad Ost, which welcommeth his guest with stripes. Doth a King trample his Crowne? Salomon
⟨p. 72⟩
calleth the wife, the Crowne of the husband, therefore he which
woundeth her, woundeth his honour: She is a free Citizen in thy house, and hath taken the peace of thee the first day of her Marriage, to hold thy hands till she release thee againe. Adam saith of his Spouse, This is flesh of my flesh: But no man sayth Paule, Euer hated his
so he teacheth the wife by the foolish, and helpeth the strong by the weake. Therefore Peter saieth, Husbands are wonne by the conuersation of their Wiues. As if he should
