A bride-bush, or A wedding sermon compendiously describing the duties of married personsA bride-bush, or A vvedding sermon compendiously describing the duties of married persons

24. It must be used in reproving, where it is rather more necessary, by how much bitterness is less to be brooked, and a reproof less easy to be borne. And this must also be showed in the matter, and in the manner of a reproof. For the matter, in not finding fault for every trifle that he sees amiss, nor chiding for every infirmity. Many things must be passed by (yea all things that be not somewhat gross, and would endanger the wives self, if she should not hear of them roundly) with none or half a word. This effect of love is very needful towards strangers, that it passeth by wants and weaknesses; much more in the household, and in the nearest couple of the household. Charity is in this sense a great cover-fault; it will see none but where they be; and many it will see and not see, and not speak of, and it descends to a reproof with a willing unwillingness. This virtue should abound in this society. Here Christs example must be followed of all husbands. He shuts his eyes as it were, and will not spy out all his Churches faults; he will not mark extremely what is done amiss; he knows she is but dust, and is assured that she cannot but offend in many things: Yet he puts it up, and not so much as checks her, unless she comes to some wilfulness in sinning. Let all that be husbands do likewise: consider you be matched with women, the weaker vessels: think how many faults your selves have; and if they have some, wonder not that they be so many, but that not more; and with silence, so much as is possible; and when it is lawful to be silent (viz. in weaknesses and infirmities) strive to amend them. It is a great deal safer here to be defective than to exceed; to be somewhat purblind, than too Eagle-eyed. ⟨p. 31⟩In this inwardness of conversation, it is impossible but divers wants shall offer themselves to be seen: and he that will pry for them, and take occasion upon every slight matter, to draw forth his reproof, shall himself live in perpetual discontentment, & yield but little quiet to his wife. For from hence she will conceive, (and that not without some cause) that he loves her not much; and this will cause their affections to warp and chap, till all be full of dissension. Be not extreme here, be not rigorous; but as a mothers tenderness of love makes her not respect or observe many deformities in her own child;

24. It must bee vsed in reprouing, where it is rather more necessary, by how much bitternesse is lesse to bee brooked, and a reproofe lesse easie to bee borne. And this must also be shewed in the matter, and in the manner of a reproofe. For the matter, in not finding fault for euery trifle that he sees amisse, nor chiding for euery infirmity. Many things must be passed by (yea all things that be not somewhat grosse, and would endanger the wiues selfe, if she should not heare of them roundly) with none or halfe a word. This effect of loue is very needfull towards strangers, that it passeth by wants and weakenesses; much more in the houshold, and in the nearest couple of the houshold. Charity is in this sense a great couer-fault; it will see none but where they be; and many it will see and not see, and not speake of, and it descends to a reproofe with a willing vnwillingnesse. This vertue should abound in this society. Heere Christs example must bee followed of all husbands. He shuts his eyes as it were, and will not spy out all his Churches faults; hee will not marke extremely what is done amisse; he knowes she is but dust, and is assured that she cannot but offend in many things: Yet hee puts it vp, and not so much as checkes her, vnlesse she comes to some wilfulnes in sinning. Let all that be husbands doe likewise: consider you be matched with women, the weaker vessels: thinke how many faults your selues haue; and if they haue some, wonder not that they be so many, but that not more; and with silence, so much as is possible; and when it is lawfull to be silent (viz. in weakenesses and infirmities) striue to amend them. It is a great deale safer heere to bee defectiue than to exceed; to be somewhat purblinde, than too Eagleeyed.