Another mistake that made his Life uneasy, was this: He had many years ago such sharp pains, as he thought proceeded from the Stone in the Bladder, he was confirmed in this by being searched, by the most celebrated Lithotomist in this City, who said he felt it, the return of those pains frighted ⟨p. 67⟩him into the Expectation of a Necessity of being Cut, and this lasted all his days; but upon the opening of his Body by his Physicians, who desired to see where lay the cause of that Disease which was hid from them; they found that he had neither in his Kidneys, nor in his Ureters, nor in his Bladder any Stone, nor so much as any gravel tending to it, thus you see, much of our real trouble ariseth from those evils which are but imaginary; this was an uncomfortable mistake, but the last I shall mention was fatal; namely, his too great carelessness of himself, he did too much for others, and too little for himself to hold out long, though he lived of a slender, weak sort of diet, yet he often speak grudgingly of the time that was necessarily spent in eating and drinking; very much longing for the place, where he should need ⟨p. 68⟩no supports of that nature. When he was declining apace towards his end, he used to say, if he were younger, or could bear riding, he would fix at no one place, but go about the Country, where he found most need, and there preach the Gospel, Catechise the Younger sort, distribute good Books; erect Places for Divine Worship, and fix Ministers at them; This would have been his delightful Employment, but when that Person to whom he freely communicated his thoughts, told him, his Work was greatly disproportionable to his strength, and requested him to leave off, what visibly impaired ⟨p. 69⟩his health, to work less, that he might work long. He with some quickness answered, Nay then, 'tis no matter if I were dead indeed; he thanked God he did not desire Life merely for its own sake, nor for any thing of the Pleasure, or Profit of it, but only for the Work he was at, saying, He had rather die that moment, than live and not be useful to the World. I am just gone, but if God give Faith and Patience, all will be well, and have a glorious Issue. He expressed a comfortable, assurance and spoke ⟨p. 70⟩as one that had arrived to the top of it, and at parting, desired Prayers a little while, for said he, I shall not need them long.
Another mistake that made his Life uneasie, was this: He had many years ago such sharp pains, as he thought proceeded from the Stone in the Bladder, he was confirmed in this by being searcht, by the most celebrated Lithotomist in this City, who said he felt it, the return of those pains frighted ⟨p. 67⟩him into the Expectation of a Necessity of being Cut, and this lasted all his days; but upon the opening of his Body by his Physicians, who desired to see where lay the cause of that Disease which was hid from them; they found that he had neither in his Kidneys, nor in his Ʋreters, nor in his Bladder any Stone, nor so much as any gravel tending to it, thus you see, much of our real trouble ariseth from those evils which are but imaginary; this was an uncomfortable mistake, but the last I shall mention was fatal; namely, his too great carelesness of himself, he did too much for others, and too little for himself to hold out long, though he lived of a slender, weak sort of diet, yet he often speak grudgingly of the time that was necessarily spent in eating and drinking; very much longing for the place, where he should need ⟨p. 68⟩no supports of that nature. When he was declining apace towards his end, he used to say, if he were younger, or could bear riding, he would fix at no one place, but go about the Country, where he found most need, and there preach the Gospel, Catechise the Younger sort, distribute good Books; erect Places for Divine Worship, and fix Ministers at them; This would have been his delightful Employment, but when that Person to whom he freely communicated his thoughts, told him, his Work was greatly disproportionable to his strength, and requested him to leave off, what visibly impaired ⟨p. 69⟩his health, to work less, that he might work long. He with some quickness answered, Nay then, 'tis no matter if I were dead indeed; he thanked God he did not desire Life meerly for its own sake, nor for any thing of the Pleasure, or Profit of it, but only for the Work he was at, saying, He had rather die that moment, than live and not be useful to the World. I am just gone, but if God give Faith and Patience, all will be well, and have a glorious Issue. He expressed a comfortable, assurance and spoke ⟨p. 70⟩as one that had arrived to the top of it, and at parting, desired Prayers a little while, for said he, I shall not need them long.
