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11. The Duty of Children from the precept. Children obey your Parents. The word imports an humble subjection to their authority and government, with a ready performance of what they require: it being an explanation of that which in the law is engraved with God's own hand; honour (d)importing how highly they are to be valued, and not lightly esteemed. In another place it is, ye shall fear every man his mother and his father(e), awful fear being no other than a deep veneration; both which are to be fairly read in the acts of genuine obedience: for that doth flow forth from a compound disposition of love and fear mixed in an ingenuous child, who is readily moved to obey, in contemplation of that authority and affection implanted in the Parent towards it
11. The Duty of Children from the precept. Children obey your Parents. The word imports an humble subjection to their authority and government, with a ready performance of what they require: it being an explanation of that which in the law is engrav'd with God's own hand; honour (d)importing how highly they are to be valued, and not lightly esteemed. In another place it is, ye shall fear every man his mother and his father(e), awful fear being no other than a deep veneration; both which are to be fairly read in the acts of genuine obedience: for that doth flow forth from a compound disposition of love and fear mixed in an ingenuous child, who is readily mov'd to obey, in contemplation of that authority and affection implanted in the Parent towards it
To speak more distinctly, this obedience to Parents may contain in it these four things, 1. Reverence, 2. Obedience, 3. Pious regards, 4. Submission. The three first of these may be reducible to active, and the last to passive obedience.
1. Reverence, which is a due and awful estimation of their persons, as to this relation, placed in eminency above their children, to acknowledge them from God himself (the Supreme Parent of us all)(f) the authors, preservers, and governors of their lives: and upon that account to honour them in their hearts, speeches, and behaviours, from an honest desire to please, and filial fear to offend them, whose children they are, of what rank soever they now appear in the world: and therefore to comport themselves so in all the actions of their lives before God and men, that they render themselves acceptable to their Parents: Yea, to both of them; the law requires reverence to the Mother as well as the Father(g): the word which is in one verse fear, is in another translated reverence; to the claim of which the Mother there seems to be favoured with some kind of priority: because Children, who have most needed their Mothers, in their tender years are apt many times to despise them, as more subject to infirmities, and as looking for less of respect from their hands. So that really to give them honour, is a fuller evidence of cordial performance. The Lord is pleased to begin there, where the duty is most tried, Reverence thy Mother and thy Father. 3Both are to be had in a just veneration. Plato and Aristotle could by Nature's light teach thus: [Greek or Hebrew]. This as the prime law of Nature, the Spartans, and generally all Nations of old did, and Chinoises at this day do maintain with admirable care. Now doing reverence to the Fathers of our flesh (h)in ⟨p. 393⟩Scripture may comprehend what Children owe to their Parents, both with reference to their speech and behaviour: (1) With respect to their speech, that it be seasonable, and agreeable to the relation, graced with humility (i)and modesty in all converse with them in presence, and discourse of them in absence. They should give them honourable titles, as that of Father and Mother do connote dignity(k): and so, Sir, or Lord(l); thus we have good Children in the Book of God saluting their Parents: as Isaac his Father Abraham(m); Jacob Isaac(n); David Saul his Father in law(o); Solomon Bathsheba, my Mother(p); Rachel Laban, making her Apology, My Lord(q); David again Saul(r);
1. Reverence, which is a due and awful estimation of their persons, as to this relation, placed in eminencie above their children, to acknowledg them from God himself (the Supreme Parent of us all)(f) the authors, preservers, and governors of their lives: and upon that account to honour them in their hearts, speeches, and behaviours, from an honest desire to please, and filial fear to offend them, whose children they are, of what rank soever they now appear in the world: and therefore to comport themselves so in all the actions of their lives before God and men, that they render themselves acceptable to their Parents: Yea, to both of them; the law requires reverence to the Mother as well as the Father(g): the word which is in one verse fear, is in another translated reverence; to the claim of which the Mother there seems to be favour'd with some kind of priority: because Children, who have most needed their Mothers, in their tender years are apt many times to despise them, as more subject to infirmities, and as looking for less of respect from their hands. So that really to give them honour, is a fuller evidence of cordial performance. The Lord is pleas'd to begin there, where the duty is most tried, Reverence thy Mother and thy Father. 3Both are to be had in a just veneration. Plato and Aristotle could by Nature's light teach thus: 〈non-Latin alphabet〉. This as the prime law of Nature, the Spartans, and generally all Nations of old did, and Chinoises at this day do maintain with admirable care. Now doing reverence to the Fathers of our flesh (h)in ⟨p. 393⟩Scripture may comprehend what Children owe to their Parents, both with reference to their speech and behaviour: (1) With respect to their speech, that it be seasonable, and agreeable to the relation, grac'd with humility (i)and modesty in all converse with them in presence, and discourse of them in absence. They should give them honourable titles, as that of Father and Mother do connote dignity(k): and so, Sir, or Lord(l)
and that with all meekness, at a sit season, in a few words, with freedom and readiness(s), giving pleasing answers when spoken to, in a becoming civility(t), waiting with contentment to hear them speak first(u), laying their hands on their mouths, and refraining to talk in their presence without just occasion(w). And in their absence by speaking so of them amongst those they do converse, that by the commendable reports they make of them, or prudent apologies for them, it may be understood what venerable respects they have for their Parents. Thus 'tis said of the Children of the prudent Mother; they rise up (as those who speak pathetically) and call her blessed (x)in that laudable discourse they have of her. Hereby Children will prove themselves to be of a virtuous temper, and not like that elder brother of the penitent Prodigal, who spake undecently in a surly manner to his Father(y); and sometime some of Jacob's sons to theirs(z), and such like: who by their rude and malapert prating disparage and aggrieve their parents(a). Yet of a more untoward generation are they, whom the Wise man took notice of, that curse their Father, and do not bless their Mother: but saith he, their lamp shall go out in obscurity(b). Neither can there be a better end of those who are under the Almighty's curse devoted to death(c): neither can they, who do any way set light by their Father or Mother, avoid a much easier censure(d), sith by interpretation it is a dishonour to God himself. Plato in his Commonwealth orders that Children should in their words through their whole life revere their Parents, there being a great punishment imminent for light and idle discourse. Further; (2) The hehaviour and carriage of Children should ever be significative and expressive of reverence to their Parents in all their addresses: the countenance so composed in their presence, as may argue awfulness and respect; the deportment lowly, rising up before those they honour for relation, as well as those venerable for age(e): and at meeting; thus Solomon, though a King, did to his Mother Bathsheba(f); hasting to attend them in a lowly posture; thus Joseph, who lived as a Prince, made ready to meet, and presented himself to his Father, whom he had maintained.(g); so Achsah, Caleb's daughter (who was married to her Cousin German) when she addressed her self to her Father, she alighted from her beast before she spoke to him(h):
and that with all meekness, at a sit season, in a few words, with freedom and readiness(s), giving pleasing answers when spoken to, in a becoming civility(t), waiting with contentment to hear them speak first(u), laying their hands on their mouths, and refraining to talk in their presence without just occasion(w). And in their absence by speaking so of them amongst those they do converse, that by the commendable reports they make of them, or prudent apologies for them, it may be understood what venerable respects they have for their Parents. Thus 'tis said of the Children of the prudent Mother; they rise up (as those who speak pathetically) and call her blessed (x)in that laudable discourse they have of her. Hereby Children will prove themselves to be of a vertuous temper, and not like that elder brother of the penitent Prodigal, who spake undecently in a surly manner to his Father(y); and sometime some of Jacob's sons to theirs(z), and such like: who by their rude and malapert prating disparage and aggrieve their parents(a). Yet of a more untoward generation are they, whom the Wiseman took notice of, that curse their Father, and do not bless their Mother: but saith he, their lamp shall go out in obscurity(b). Neither can there be a better end of those who are under the Almighty's curse devoted to death(c): neither can they, who do any way set light by their Father or Mother, avoid a much easier censure(d), sith by interpretation it is a dishonour to God himself. Plato in his Commonwealth orders that Children should in their words through their whole life revere their Parents, there being a great punishment imminent for light and idle discourse. Further; (2) The hehaviour and carriage of Children should ever be significative and expressive of reverence to their Parents in all their addresses: the countenance so composed in their presence, as may argue awfulness and respect; the deportment lowly, rising up before those they honour for relation, as well as those venerable for age
and again Joseph thought it no disparagement to prostrate himself to his aged father ⟨p. 394⟩Jacob, whose eyes were then dim, that he could not see his behaviour; when he also gave his own Children an example in praying for his Father's blessing(i), which Esau, though he came tardè, did passionately beg for(k). And though Parents now have not a Prophetic spirit as the Patriarch's had, yet it seems still very equitable, that Christian Children considering their Parents Superiority in the Lord, should frequently upon occasion in an(l) humble manner crave their Parents prayers for God's blessing. The rude and haughty looks, which are in many Children before their Parents, cannot comport with this duty, which discards a dogged and supercilious countenance, that betokens scorn and derision, opposite to this filial reverence. The Wise man makes a smart remark upon such odious insolent behaviour, which might deter any of understanding from it, when he saith(m), The eye that mocketh his Father, and despiseth to obey his Mother, the Ravens of the Valley shall pick it out; and the young Eagles shall eat it. Here is a signal retaliation to those who in speech or behaviour deride the persons, or despise the counsels of their Parents, whether yet alive or deceased. 'Twere to be wished it had been better studied by some Children in this Generation: I mean some late and present Preachers of our Age; who do not parentare manibus, but indeed upbraid the Ghosts of their reverend and pious Parents (who warmly argued the necessity of regeneration) either by reckoning them amongst the herd of Divines or with an harangue of lame sequels perch up to vent their callow notions, and bespatter their own nest in complacence with the lax humour of the times: when many for the bags cry, Hail Master, but betray the Son of Man with a kiss(n): yet I would hope there are but a few of this feather. I proceed to mind Children of another duty, and that is
and again Joseph thought it no disparagement to prostrate himself to his aged father ⟨p. 394⟩Jacob, whose eyes were then dim, that he could not see his behaviour; when he also gave his own Children an example in praying for his Father's blessing(i), which Esau, though he came tardè, did passionately beg for(k). And though Parents now have not a Prophetick spirit as the Patriarch's had, yet it seems still very equitable, that Christian Children considering their Parents Superiority in the Lord, should frequently upon occasion in an(l) humble manner crave their Parents prayers for God's blessing. The rude and haughty looks, which are in many Children before their Parents, cannot comport with this duty, which discards a dogged and supercilious countenance, that betokens scorn and derision, opposite to this filial reverence. The Wise man makes a smart remark upon such odious insolent behaviour, which might deter any of understanding from it, when he saith(m), The eye that mocketh his Father, and despiseth to obey his Mother, the Ravens of the Valley shall pick it out; and the young Eagles shall eat it. Here is a signal retaliation to those who in speech or behaviour deride the persons, or despise the counsels of their Parents, whether yet alive or deceased. 'Twere to be wish'd it had been better studied by some Children in this Generation: I mean some late and present Preachers of our Age; who do not parentare manibus, but indeed upbraid the Ghosts of their reverend and pious Parents (who warmly argued the necessity of regeneration) either by reckoning them amongst the herd of Divines or with an harangue of lame sequels perch up to vent their callow notions, and bespatter their own nest in complacence with the lax humour of the times: when many for the bags cry, Hail Master, but betray the Son of Man with a kiss(n): yet I would hope there are but a few of this feather. I proceed to mind Children of another duty, and that is
2. Observance, whereby their Parents pleasure with fit subjection is performed, out of a real desire to promote their honour; which is more than in countenance and ceremonies to express obedience(o). It is very requisite Christian Children should with an heedful circumspection observe the holy and wise prescripts and practices of their Parents by acknowledging subjection to their government. Our blessed Lord himself set a pattern herein; for he went down with his Mother and her Husband, and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them(p), Quis quibus? Deus hominibus, &c. saith Bernard*. He to whom Angels are subject, whom Principalities and Powers do obey, was observant of his Mother Mary and her espoused Husband Joseph, yea most likely in the business of Joseph's calling. More particularly, this filial observance shows it self in 1. Attending to their instructions: 2. Executing their commands: 3. Depending on their counsels: And 4. Following their examples. (1.) We ought to attend seriously to our Parents instructions, and learn what they teach us for good, receiving their dictates with humility, and laying them up in our hearts; those especially of spiritual advantage, out of a love to wisdom, and our Parents joys(q). Solomon bids from his own experience, ⟨p. 395⟩My Son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother (r)Again, Hearken unto thy father which begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old. And then that Daughters might not think themselves exempted, Hearken ye Children to the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding and good doctrine(s), which if heedfully observed, makes a wise child, when the contrary bewrays folly(t), which is a grief and discouragement to the father: as was that of Eli's Sons(u), and Lot's Sons in law(w), who slighted their fathers documents: as the Prodigal also did his, before he felt the smart of it, and came to his wits again(x). Yet this is dissonant to the voice of Nature, which hath taught the very Chickens to hearken unto the clocking of the Hen; hath been ever distasteful to the wiser Heathens, and would bring a disparagement upon the Christian institution. So that Christian Children should be very heedful of their Parents teachings, especially in the concerns of their souls. Hence (2.)
2. Observance, whereby their Parents pleasure with fit subjection is perform'd, out of a real desire to promote their honour; vvhich is more than in countenance and ceremonies to express obedience(o). It is very requisite Christian Children should with an heedful circumspection observe the holy and wise prescripts and practices of their Parents by acknowledging subjection to their government. Our blessed Lord himself set a pattern herein; for he went down with his Mother and her Husband, and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them(p), Quis quibus? Deus hominibus, &c. saith Bernard*. He to whom Angels are subject, whom Principalities and Powers do obey, was observant of his Mother Mary and her espoused Husband Joseph, yea most likely in the business of Joseph's calling. More particularly, this filial observance shews it self in 1. Attending to their instructions: 2. Executing their commands: 3. Depending on their counsels: And 4. Following their examples. (1.) We ought to attend seriously to our Parents instructions, and learn what they teach us for good, receiving their djctates with humility, and laying them up in our hearts; those especially of spiritual advantage, out of a love to wisdom, and our Parents joys(q). Solomon bids from his own experience, ⟨p. 395⟩My Son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother (r)Again, Hearken unto thy father which begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old. And then that Daughters might not think themselves exempted, Hearken ye Children to the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding and good doctrine(s), which if heedfully observ'd, makes a wise child, when the contrary bewrays folly(t), which is a grief and discouragement to the father: as was that of Eli's Sons(u), and Lot's Sons in law(w)
Children should execute their Parents commands and dispatch readily what they order them to do without whartling disputes: this is the most special duty required in my Text, (the extent of it will come under consideration anon.) They should be as those under the Centurions authority, go and come and do at his command(y). Samuel came at the supposed call of his pro-Parent once and again(z). David when his Father Jesse had sent for him out of the field, ere he knew what it was for(a), and so went as he commanded, him(b). So Jacob, when Isaac sent him(c), and Joseph, when Jacob sent him(d), yea the other ten Sons also upon their Fathers order(e). Isaac attended in carrying the wood, when the servants were free from the burden, at his Father's pleasure(f). Joseph and the Rechabites are famous instances of observing faithfully the charge of their Parents, even when they were dead and gone(g), out of conscience, in a respectful manner, with reference to the divine authority. Abraham's Children walked in the way of the Lord, as their Father commanded them(h). Solomon did not only command his own Son(i), (though he proved disobedient) but he observed his Father David's charge to walk in the Lord's statutes(k) (though drawn aside after with temptations) and to build the Temple(l). God takes it for granted, a good Child will serve his Father(m), yea and when put to pain, in things not only necessary, but of no reputation, supposing, in things purely indifferent both in their nature and use, their Parents to be more judicious to determine what is expedient and decent; yet not without the use of their own discerning faculty, nor without any examination in a blind irrational obsequy ousness(n), like the brutish obedience of the Jesuits Novices. For though I should grant that Parents have in some sort a power over the consciences of their Children, whiles they are as in God's stead(o), swaying their apprehensions in their tenderest years, before they come to the use of their ripened reason: yet when there is a judgment of discerning betwixt good and evil, their obedience ought to be reas ••bl•, such as God requires to his own service, [Greek or Hebrew], such as is according ⟨p. 396⟩to his Word, not merely childish, (though the obedience of Children) but acceptable* and well-pleasing unto him, as in my Text, and in the fear of God, vers. 22. Again, (3.)
Children should execute their Parents commands and dispatch readily what they order them to do without whartling disputes: this is the most special duty required in my Text, (the extent of it will come under consideration anon.) They should be as those under the Centurions authority, go and come and do at his command(y). Samuel came at the supposed call of his pro-Parent once and again(z). David when his Father Jesse had sent for him out of the field, e're he knew what it was for(a), and so went as he commanded, him(b). So Jacob, when Isaac sent him(c), and Joseph, when Jacob sent him(d), yea the other ten Sons also upon their Fathers order(e). Isaac attended in carrying the wood, when the servants were free from the burden, at his Father's pleasure(f). Joseph and the Rechabites are famous instances of observing faithfully the charge of their Parents, even when they were dead and gone(g), out of conscience, in a respectful manner, with reference to the divine authority. Abraham's Children walked in the way of the Lord, as their Father commanded them(h). Solomon did not only command his own Son(i), (though he prov'd disobedient) but he observ'd his Father David's charge to walk in the Lord's statutes(k) (though drawn aside after with temptations) and to build the Temple(l). God takes it for granted, a good Child will serve his Father
Children ought to depend upon their Parents counsels, and take their good and wholesome advice, giving them the honour of being in an ordinary course, more prudent and sagacious than themselves, as having greater experience, ability, and a call to govern in affairs of importance. For to disregard them herein were to slight the paternal authority which God would have kept in reputation. He was a Prodigal, who would not be advised, till he was bitten with the ill effect of that extravagant course, which grieved his Father(p): but the docible Child who is righteous and wise, rejoiceth the heart of both his Parents (q)Here I might enter on particulars, to show that Children have no power, being under government, to dispose of their Parents goods without their advice or allowance(r); for faultiness here is aggravated by the relation: nor to choose their company disagreeable to their Parents minds(s); but to take their advice, and be content with that suitable dress their Parents do order them to appear in(t), and not in strange apparel*. But I shall only suggest two more eminent instances, wherein Children are more especially to consult their Parents, and observe their advice, viz. as to a particular Calling and Marriage. [1] 'Tis fit to he advised by Parents in the choice of a Calling, or lasting course of life. Jacob and David moved and lived according to their Parents disposal(†), as was hinted before; and so did Jonadab's Children(‖). It being unfit they should carve for themselves without leave; but follow the parental conduct, unless that leads them into an unlawful Calling. The pretension of Religion in a Monastic life, which the Papists urge to cajole their Votaries into their unscriptural Orders, as the Pharisees did Corban(u), saying it is a gift devoted to God (which hypocritical allegation our Saviour disproved, because they vacated the Commandments of God for their own traditions) can be no warrant to invade the rights of Parents: for Religion towards God doth not interfere with the necessary duties of our Relation. And to do that under a notion of Religion not enjoined by God, against that too which he hath required, is impious; and to offer that to him which is another's, he likes not. He is for equity, and not for division or confusion. Charlemagne made a decree against this dishonour to Parents under the veil and disguise of Religion. [2.]
Children ought to depend upon their Parents counsels, and take their good and wholsom advice, giving them the honour of being in an ordinary course, more prudent and sagacious than themselves, as having greater experience, ability, and a call to govern in affairs of importance. For to disregard them herein were to slight the paternal authority which God would have kept in reputation. He was a Prodigal, who would not be advised, till he was bitten with the ill effect of that extravagant course, which grieved his Father(p): but the docible Child who is righteous and wise, rejoyceth the heart of both his Parents (q)Here I might enter on particulars, to shew that Children have no power, being under government, to dispose of their Parents goods without their advice or allowance(r); for faultiness here is aggravated by the relation: nor to choose their company disagreeable to their Parents minds(s); but to take their advice, and be content with that sutable dress their Parents do order them to appear in(t), and not in strange apparel*. But I shall only suggest two more eminent instances, wherein Children are more especially to consult their Parents, and observe their advice, viz. as to a particular Calling and Marriage. [1] 'Tis fit to he advised by Parents in the choice of a Calling, or lasting course of life. Jacob and David mov'd and liv'd according to their Parents disposal(†), as was hinted before; and so did Jonadab's Children(‖). It being unfit they should carve for themselves without leave; but follow the parental conduct, unless that leads them into an unlawful Calling. The pretension of Religion in a Monastick life, which the Papists urge to cajol their Votaries into their unscriptural Orders, as the Pharisees did Corban(u), saying it is a gift devoted to God (which hypocritical allegation our Saviour disprov'd, because they vacated the Commandments of God for their own traditions) can be no warrant to invade the rights of Parents: for Religion towards God doth not interfere with the necessary duties of our Relation. And to do that under a notion of Religion not enjoyned by God, against that too which he hath required, is impious; and to offer that to him which is another's, he likes not. He is for equity, and not for division or confusion. Charlemaign made a decree against this dishonour to Parents under the vail and disguise of Religion. [2.]
In the great business of Marriage, 'tis very requisite to observe their counsel and advice. Parents certainly should sway much in this weighty matter, as they did in Isaac's matching with Rebekah(w), and Jacob's with Laban's daughter(x). Ruth, though a daughter in law, was willing to be disposed of by Naomi in the change of her condition, observing her orders in that affair(y): yea, even Ishmael would take his Mother's advice for a wife(a): and Sampson moved for his Parents consent(b): Tamar's words in striving with her lustful brother, imply the gaining of her Father's consent requisite(c): and Shechem's words to his Father, ⟨p. 397⟩when he had wickedly deflowered Dinah (whom he met with in her idling visit) do import he was convinced it was equitable to have her Father's consent to marry her(d). For Children ought in reason to think their Parents wiser, and better able for the most part to provide for them, than they themselves are: because likely as they have more experimental knowledge, so, if Parents be not cankered with the love of this world, their affections are more governable, and not so easily biased from moving in the fairest way; as Children's often are in their youthful and spritely age, when their inward emotions are apt to be more turbulent, unless sanctified with grace, and moderated with virtue. And further, here it may be considered that Parents, who brought forth, and bred up their Children, should by no means be bereft of them without their consent: sith they are so much their goods and possessions, that it were a kind of purloining to give themselves away without their Parents leave. The maid under the law, that had made a vow out of her Father's cognizance, could not perform it without his consent(e). In the Comedian it was accounted a disparagement, to take a wise against the will of her Father. So that compliance with Parents advice here is a business of great effect. As one saith ingenuously,9 The Child in this case bowls best at the mark of his own contentment, who besides the aim of his own eye, is directed by his Father, who is to give the ground. To which may correspond a passage of Cyrus, who, when a match was proposed to him, said, I like the Lady, her Dowry, and her Family: but I must have these agree with my Parents, and then I will marry her.
In the great business of Marriage, 'tis very requisite to observe their counsel and advice. Parents certainly should sway much in this weighty matter, as they did in Isaac's matching with Rebekah(w), and Jacob's with Laban's daughter(x). Ruth, though a daughter in law, was willing to be disposed of by Naomi in the change of her condition, observing her orders in that affair(y): yea, even Ishmael would take his Mother's advice for a wife(a): and Sampson mov'd for his Parents consent(b): Thamar's words in striving with her lustful brother, imply the gaining of her Father's consent requisite(c): and Sechem's words to his Father, ⟨p. 397⟩vvhen he had wickedly defloured Dinah (whom he met with in her idling visit) do import he was convinc'd it was equitable to have her Father's consent to marry her(d). For Children ought in reason to think their Parents wiser, and better able for the most part to provide for them, than they themselves are: because likely as they have more experimental knowledg, so, if Parents be not canker'd with the love of this world, their affections are more governable, and not so easily biass'd from moving in the fairest way; as Childrens often are in their youthful and spritely age, when their inward emotions are apt to be more turbulent, unless sanctified with grace, and moderated vvith vertue. And further, here it may be consider'd that Parents, who brought forth, and bred up their Children, should by no means be bereft of them vvithout their consent: sith they are so much their goods and possessions, that it were a kind of purloining to give themselves away without their Parents leave. The maid under the law, that had made a vow out of her Father's cognizance, could not perform it without his consent(e). In the Comoedian it was accounted a disparagement, to take a vvise against the will of her Father. So that complyance with Parents advice here is a business of great effect. As one saith ingenuously,
He belike thought it injurious in finally bestowing himself to neglect his Parents, and disregard their counsel, in the main business of his life. But if Children except, and say,1 What if after our real desires to take their counsel, they urge us to marry such as we cannot affect? I confess your circumstances may be such in this instance, as may render the case very intricate, and 'twould require a discourse by it self to give satisfaction to it. All I shall say now is, 1. Be sure your non-affection or aversion to the Person proposed be not without reason: remember you are unperienc'd; suspect your own judgment, and take heed lest some impotent passion, or amorous inclination to another person, discompose you from attaining to a right opinion of things: persuade your selves, that as your Parents have experience, likely their affections lead them to be careful for your welfare. Be therefore earnest in Prayer with God (who turns the heart at his pleasure(f) that he would incline your affection to the party proposed, all the while there is no disallowance from above, 3and you can see no just cause to the contrary, having only the mere plea that you cannot love; and be importunate with him to rectify such untowardness of mind (lest you at least seem wilful) as leads you without good reason to reject an offer of his Providence to you for the promoting of your temporal welfare in an hopeful prospect of the Divine blessing. But if after this humble and unfeigned address to God, you still find your ⟨p. 398⟩heart altogether averse; you may in a reverent way entreat your Parents not to press that match, and think of some other, wherein you may be better satisfied. For my part, I do not conceive you are obliged to marry those you cannot really affect: unless I could see how you might with a good conscience in the presence of God enter into a solemn Covenant of Love (g)with a patty you cannot but upon deliberation at the same instant dislike. My reason is, not only because it would be an utter frustration of the end of marriage; which should be mutual satisfaction: but also the beginning of that estate, in a kind of perjury, or at least with a doubting conscience(h). Sith as Quintilian *observed Affectus nostri nobis non serviunt, we cannot still keep our affections in a subserviency to our own, be sure not to another's reason:
He belike thought it injurious in finally bestowing himself to neglect his Parents, and disregard their counsel, in the main business of his life. But if Children except, and say,1 What if after our real desires to take their counsel, they urge us to marry such as we cannot affect? I confess your circumstances may be such in this instance, as may render the case very intricate, and 'twould require a discourse by it self to give satisfaction to it. All I shall say now is, 1. Be sure your non-affection or aversion to the Person propos'd be not without reason: remember you are unperienc'd; suspect your own judgment, and take heed lest some impotent passion, or amorous inclination to another person, discompose you from attaining to a right opinion of things: perswade your selves, that as your Parents have experience, likely their affections lead them to be careful for your welfare. Be therefore earnest in Prayer with God (who turns the heart at his pleasure(f) that he would incline your affection to the party propos'd, all the while there is no disallowance from above, 3and you can see no just cause to the contrary, having only the mere plea that you cannot love; and be importunate with him to rectifie such untowardness of mind (lest you at least seem wilful) as leads you vvithout good reason to reject an offer of his Providence to you for the promoting of your temporal vvelfare in an hopeful prospect of the Divine blessing. But if after this humble and unfeigned address to God, you still find your ⟨p. 398⟩heart altogether averse; you may in a reverent way entreat your Parents not to press that match, and think of some other, wherein you may be better satisfied. For my part, I do not conceive you are oblig'd to marry those you cannot really affect: unless I could see how you might with a good conscience in the presence of God enter into a solemn Covenant of Love (g)with a patty you cannot but upon deliberation at the same instant dislike. My reason is, not only because it would be an utter frustration of the end of marriage; which should be mutual satisfaction: but also the beginning of that estate, in a kind of perjury, or at least with a doubting conscience(h). Sith as Q•intilian *
My wise is to dwell with me for ever, the half of my lasting joy, or my lasting sorrow, and if I do not love her, we cannot live comfortably together, &c. 2. If Parents should counsel you to join your self to an ungodly person, and enforce you to fix there; the best Casuists of our own† will easily resolve you, that in such a case you have a negative voice, and may humbly refuse to comply with such a motion: for though you have not a judgment of positive decision, to determine whom you would have; yet you have a judgment of discretion, and you may with all reverence to your Parents proposing refuse an unworthy person, who is like to make your life either sinful or miserable. This may be further cleared, in considering the extent of Children's obedience. There is another particular yet, which concerns Children in this duty of observance, and that is (4.) To follow their good examples; we should take notice of those fair copies they have set us, and imitate whatsoever is good, commendable and virtuous in our Parents. This the Wise man gave his Son in charge, that he should with all his heart set his eyes to observe his ways (i)i. e. take him for his pattern in all those practises which were consonant to the pleasure of his Heavenly Father: we should follow them as they do our Lord and Master(k). But not in their errors and miscarriages; for fear of Jeroboam's dreadful entail, which some choose rather than leave the crooked paths of their Progenitors(l), as the idolatrous Jews of old(m), and the Papists at this day. For Marc Antonine the Emperor (as the learned Gataker expounds him*) could teach us, that we should not be so childish as to do any thing without consideration, [Greek or Hebrew], upon the mere account of tradition, as we had it from our Parents. When Frederick IV. Elector Palatine of the Rhine was by a certain Prince advised to follow the example of his Father Lewis, he answered well;† In the business of Religion, we must not follow the examples of Parents and Ancestors; but only as they are agreeable to the will of God. God himself stated this case to the Jewish Children in the wilderness by the Prophet Ezekiel(n); and the Apostle Peter showeth Christian Children should behave themselves as those who are redeemed from a vain conversation(o).
My wise is to dwell with me for ever, the half of my lasting joy, or my lasting sorrow, and if I do not love her, we cannot live comfortably together, &c. 2. If Parents should counsel you to joyn your self to an ungodly person, and enforce you to fix there; the best Casuijis of our own† will easily resolve you, that in such a case you have a negative voice, and may humbly refuse to comply with such a motion: for though you have not a judgment of positive decision, to determine whom you would have; yet you have a judgment of discretion, and you may with all reverence to your Parents proposing refuse an unworthy person, who is like to make your life either sinful or miserable. This may be further cleared, in considering the extent of Childrens obedience. There is another particular yet, which concerns Children in this duty of observance, and that is (4.) To follow their good examples; we should take notice of those fair copies they have set us, and imitate whatsoever is good, commendable and vertuous in our Parents. This the Wise man gave his Son in charge, that he should with all his heart set his eyes to observe his wayes (i)i. e. take him for his pattern in all those practises which were consonant to the pleasure of his Heavenly Father: we should follow them as they do our Lord and Master(k). But not in their errors and miscarriages; for fear of Jeroboam's dreadful entail, which some choose rather than leave the crooked paths of their Progenitors(l), as the idolatrous Jews of old(m), and the Papists at this day. For Marc Antonine the Emperour (as the learned Gataker expounds him*) could teach us, that we should not be so childish as to do any thing without consideration, 〈non-Latin alphabet〉, upon the mere account of tradition, as we had it from our Parents. When Frederick IV. Elector Palatine of the Rhine was by a certain Prince advised to follow the example of his Father Lewis, he answered well;† In the business of Religion, we must not follow the examples of Parents and Ancestors; but only as they are agreeable to the will of God. God himself stated this case to the Jewish Children in the wilderness by the Prophet Ezekiel
†Bishop Hall, Sanderson, Taylor, Mr. Baxter.Bishop Hall, Sanderson, Taylou•, Mr. Baxter.
*Mr Anton. l. 4. Sect. 46. id quod Origen adv. Cels. l. 1. [Greek or Hebrew].Mr Anton. l. 4. Sect. 46. id quod Origen adv. Cels. l. 1. 〈non-Latin alphabet〉.
†In Religione non paren•um, non majorum exempla sequendo, sed tantum voluntatem Dei.
But the good carriage of Parents in their piety towards God, righteousness and charity towards man, should have a ⟨p. 399⟩great influence upon those that descend from them. Solomon is commended for his dutifulness so far as he walked in the good ways of David his Father(p), expressing the like good qualities and actions in that which was right(q): and so Asa (r)raising up monuments of David's piety, honesty, and virtue. 'Tis reported Justin Martyr became Christian, by following the good examples of the primitive Fathers†. The famous Emperor but now praised, determined when in the Empire, not to follow the Caesarian mode which then obtained at the imperial Court, but to do all [Greek or Hebrew] as a disciple of pious Antonine*, to be dressed by his Fathers glass, as Julius Capitolinus notes, to act, and speak, and think, as his Father did: or as he tells us himself, to imitate his constant tenor in things well managed, his evenness of temper in all things, the cheerfulness of his countenance, his courteousness, contempt of vain-glory, and studiousness to find out things. He had set before himself the virtues of both his Parents and Pro-parents, yea, his adoptive Father, and copied out the most singular things in them all‖. Which may the more incite us Christians, as Paul did Timothy from the remembrance of the Faith in his Grand-mother Lois, and Mother Eunice(s), to learn that Parents good actions should make impressions on their Children; as the Seal upon the wax, that they may represent them both while living and dead. These cannot be a better resemblance of a Child to a good Father than in this observance (t)which I have touched on in these four Particulars, hastening to the next Duty; viz.
But the good carriage of Parents in their piety towards God, righteousness and charity towards man, should have a ⟨p. 399⟩great influence upon those that descend from them. Solomon is commended for his dutifulness so far as he walked in the good wayes of David his Father(p), expressing the like good qualities and actions in that which was right(q): and so Asa (r)raising up monuments of David's piety, honesty, and vertue. 'Tis reported Justin Martyr became Christian, by following the good examples of the primitive Fathers†. The famous Emperour but now praised, determined when in the Empire, not to follow the Caesarian mode which then obtain'd at the imperial Court, but to do all 〈non-Latin alphabet〉 as a disciple of pious Antonine*, to be dress'd by his Fathers glass, as Julius Capitolinus notes, to act, and speak, and think, as his Father did: or as he tells us himself, to imitate his constant tenour in things well managed, his evenness of temper in all things, the chearfulness of his countenance, his courteousness, contempt of vain-glory, and studiousness to find out things. He had set before himself the virtues of both his Parents and Pro-parents, yea, his adoptive Father, and copied out the most singular things in them all‖. Which may the more incite us Christians, as Paul did Timothy from the remembrance of the Faith in his Grand-mother Lois, and Mother Eunice(s), to learn that Parents good actions should make impressions on their Children; as the Seal upon the wax, that they may represent them both while living and dead. These cannot be a better resemblance of a Child to a good Father than in this observance (t)which I have touch'd on in these four Particulars, hastning to the next Duty; viz.
3 Pious regards, Christian Children owe their Parents both in respect of their benevolence and indigence; from a real desire of humble thankfulness (if it were possible) to make some kind of compensation unto them, by whom under God they subsist. (1.) With respect to their benevolence, a grateful resentment of their kindnesses; which ought to be manifested in an affectionate acknowledgement of their Parental love and care. This is so good and acceptable unto God, that to requite our Parents in Paul's language, is to show piety and kindness at home(u), when by way of commutation we are solicitous to take our turn as it were, in a sort of retaliation to make some kind of retribution to those who begat us, either immediately or mediately. This ingenuous skill the Apostle would have learned, as a commendable Christian Art, by an exercise in such grateful offices, as may prove Children do delight to be much in those services(w) which express the esteem they have of their Parents good will to them. Hence we should with great complacence entertain all our Parents favours, as ingenuous Servants, waiting to express the sense of our love readily and heartily(x): sith our most pathetic acknowledgements of Parental love and care are but easy returns for their unvaluable kindnesses: so that without this resentment, Children cannot indeed be pious: For as Cicero †in an Oration argues; When I shall desire that I may be affected with all the virtues, then there is nothing I more wish, than that I may be thankful, and seem to be so: for this one ⟨p. 400⟩virtue is not only the greatest, but the mother of all the rest. What is Piety, but a grateful will towards our Parents? &c. who of us (saith he) is liberally educated, but thinks of our Educators, &c. with a thankful remembrance? which may be, by treasuring up their good speeches and wise sayings of remark(y); rehearsing with delight their praise-worthy acts(z); expounding all they do candidly, as Ruth did Naomi's carriage, honouring all that was honourable in her, choosing her Religion, and admiring all her virtues, Thy God shall be my God, said she, and thy people my people(a); comforting them under every Providence(b), and providing as much as may be for them(c). Hence (2.) with respect to their indigence, be it what it will, either in regard to internal or external defects, natural, moral, or providential;
3 Pious regards, Christian Children owe their Parents both in respect of their benevolence and indigence; from a real desire of humble thankfulness (if it were possible) to make some kind of compensation unto them, by whom under God they subsist. (1.) With respect to their benevolence, a grateful resentment of their kindnesses; which ought to be manifested in an affectionate acknowledgment of their Parental love and care. This is so good and acceptable unto God, that to requite our Parents in Paul's language, is to shew piety and kindness at home(u), when by way of commutation we are solicitous to take our turn as it were, in a sort of retaliation to make some kind of retribution to those who begat us, either immediately or mediately. This ingenuous skill the Apostle would have learn'd, as a commendable Christian Art, by an exercise in such grateful offices, as may prove Children do delight to be much in those services(w) which express the esteem they have of their Parents good will to them. Hence we should with great complacence entertain all our Parens favours, as ingenuous Servants, waiting to express the sense of our love readily and heartily(x): sith our most pathetick acknowledgments of Parental love and care are but easie returns for their unvaluable kindnesses: so that without this resentment, Children cannot indeed be pious: For as Cicero †in an Oration argues; When I shall desire that I may be affected with all the vertues, then there is nothing I more wish, than that I may be thankful, and seem to be so: for this one ⟨p. 400⟩vertue is not only the greatest, but the mother of all the rest. What is Piety, but a grateful will towards our Parents? &c. who of us (saith he) is liberally educated, but thinks of our Educators, &c. with a thankful remembrance? which may be, by treasuring up their good speeches and wise sayings of remark(y); rehearsing with delight their praise-worthy acts(z); expounding all they do candidly, as Ruth did Naomi's carriage, honouring all that was honourable in her, choosing her Religion, and admiring all her vertues, Thy God shall be my God, said she, and thy people my people
†C m omnibus virtutibus me affectum esse cupiam, tum nihil est quod malim, &c. Quid est pietas nisi voluntas grata in parents, &c. pro Cn. Plancio.C m omnibus virtutibus me affectum esse cupiam, tum nihil est quod malim, &c. Quid est pietas nisi voluntas grata in parentes, &c. pro Cn. Plancio.
both living and dead, Children are to show themselves concerned: by covering, or bearing their infirmities, supplying their necessities, defending their persons and honour against the rude and injurious attacks of those who would disparage and defame them. Noah and Lot, Isaac and Jacob had their infirmities under temptations; and their Children covered them(d); so did Jonathan his Father Saul's(e); Mary was inconsiderate in speaking to our Lord, yet he went down with her and Joseph(f). Love will cover many faults(g): Isaac was blind, yet Jacob religiously paid respects to him(h): Naomi was poor, yet her daughter in law continued child-like obedience(i): when Jacob and his Family were poor, and in straits, Joseph did support and comfort them, ministering to their necessities(k): yea, and pious Children should have a special regard to supply their Parents spiritual necessities, for the good estate of their souls; in case they are unacquainted with the great business of Religion, or negligent about the concerns of another world, then with all humility and prudence to insinuate such things, as by the influence of Heaven may be effectual to work a real change in them, by whom they themselves came into this world, or to revive that which is ready to dye, will greatly adorn the part of Christian Children. Sith we are to pray for political, much more for natural Parents, because of the goodness and acceptableness of it in the sight of God and our Saviour(l). All that the best can do, in one respect and another, will be recompense little enough for Parents care, love, and kindness. Ruth took pains to supply her mother in law's necessities(m); David in perils was solicitous for his Parents safety(n): and if Children are taken away before their Parents, they are obliged after Christ's example in taking care of his mother, to endeavour provision may be made for them(o); when their Parents are dead, they should see to the honourable interment of their bodies, in a decent Christian manner, agreeable to the port and quality of both in the world, and the laudable custom of the place(p), as Isaac(q), Jacob(r), and Joseph did(s): So to the preservation of their good name and reputation, by paying of their debts in due circumstances (especially if justly contracted for the children's sake) according to abilities, for they are the wicked who borrow and pay not again(t):
both living and dead, Children are to shew themselves concern'd: by covering, or bearing their infirmities, supplying their necessities, defending their persons and honour against the rude and injurious attaques of those who vvould disparage and defame them. Noah and Lot, Isaac and Jacob had their infirmities under temptations; and their Children covered them(d); so did Jonathan his Father Saul's(e); Mary was inconsiderate in speaking to our Lord, yet he vvent down vvith her and Joseph(f). Love will cover many faults(g): Isaac was blind, yet Jacob religiously paid respects to him(h): Naomi was poor, yet her daughter in law continued child-like obedience(i): when Jacob and his Family were poor, and in straits, Joseph did support and comfort them, ministring to their necessities(k): yea, and pious Children should have a special regard to supply their Parents spiritual necessities, for the good estate of their souls; in case they are unacquainted with the great business of Religion, or negligent about the concerns of another world, then with all humility and prudence to insinuate such things, as by the influence of Heaven may be effectual to work a real change in them, by whom they themselves came into this world, or to revive that which is ready to dye, will greatly adorn the part of Christian Children. Sith we are to pray for political, much more for natural Parents, because of the goodness and acceptableness of it in the sight of God and our Saviour(l). All that the best can do, in one respect and another, will be recompence little enough for Parents care, love, and kindness. Ruth took pains to supply her mother in law's necessities(m); David in perils was solicitous for his Parents safety(n): and if Children are taken away before their Parents, they are obliged after Christ's example in taking care of his mother, to endeavour provision may be made for them
good Christians ⟨p. 401⟩are charged to owe no man any thing but love(u); and to the vindicating of them from unjust aspersions, yet without malice or revenge (w)but with justice, so far as lies within the compass of the Children's calls and places: so did Amaziah(x): what Solomon did in this regard was only the public execution of Justice, not act of private revenge(y). But still in paying honour to our deceased Parents, we must ever avoid the superstition of the Heathens and Papists, and take care we go on in all our Parents good ways, as did Solomon, Asa, Jehoshaphat, Hezekiah, and Josiah(z). Quite contrary hereunto was the impious practise of Ham, odious to God and man(a): So of Absalom(b), Jeroboam's race(c), and the greedy Pharisees(d), with others, who had no compassion, or none in proportion to their indigent Parents necessity and superiority; when yet they are amply provided for(e); whereas this grateful recompense of Parents is required and celebrated amongst the Heathens of old, as appears by their proverbial expression [Greek or Hebrew], Whence their Lex Pelargica: Because saith Philo*, The old Storks disabled to fly abroad, stay in their nest, till those of their brood do fly over sea and land, and bring food to their dams, (though possibly some may have been observed to degenerate†). And so we Birds (saith Aristophanes pleasantly) should return our Parents thanks in all offices of endearing kindness, &c. Aeneas was denominated pious, from that Heroic act of saving his decrepit Father out of flaming Troy, and the hands of raging enemies, by carrying him out on his shoulders. And the Children of Catania of old, in a sudden eruption of Aetna, for the exportation of their aged Parents were celebrated with much honour‖, (what they of the same place did in the late one, I have not heard). They who would see among the Heathens greater variety of Instances for pious regards and impious ingratitude, may consult Valerius Maximus*. I'll only mind you of two of the former sort; one (which Pliny †counts most remarkable) of a woman giving suck, who, when her mother was condemned by the Praetor, had got from the Keeper liberty to visit her in Prison, upon daily search made to see she brought no victuals to her, whom the Keeper thought to have famished, but found alive after many days, sustained by her affectionate daughter's milk;
good Christians ⟨p. 401⟩are charged to owe no man any thing but love(u); and to the vindicating of them from unjust aspersions, yet without malice or revenge (w)but with justice, so far as lies within the compass of the Childrens calls and places: so did Amaziah(x): what Solomon did in this regard was only the publick execution of Justice, not act of private revenge(y). But still in paying honour to our deceased Parents, we must ever avoid the superstition of the Heathens and Papists, and take care we go on in all our Parents good wayes, as did Solomon, Asa, Jehosaphat, Hezekiah, and Josiah(z). Quite contrary hereunto was the impious practise of Cham, odious to God and man(a): So of Absolom(b), Jeroboam's race(c), and the greedy Pharisees(d), with others, who had no compassion, or none in proportion to their indigent Parents necessity and superiority; when yet they are amply provided for(e); whereas this grateful recompence of Parents is required and celebrated amongst the Heathens of old, as appears by their proverbial expression 〈non-Latin alphabet〉, Whence their Lex Pelargica: Because saith Philo*, The old Storks disabled to fly abroad, stay in their nest, till those of their brood do fly over sea and land, and bring food to their dams, (though possibly some may have been observ'd to degenerate†
which so affected the Governors, that they spared the Mother's life, and raised a monument of the daughter's ingenuous piety. The other of one Perns (for that seems to be her name) who in the same manner relieved her Father Cymon, and renewed his age the same way, in the same case, which it seems was so taking, that it was represented in a Picture when the Historian wrote, and that in Tiberius his time; so ancient was that Table which our modern Painters copy. And this was the more notable, because this now old Cymon did by his own bonds purchase his Father's freedom. The Chinoises in their natural Religion do to this day pay their gratitude to their Parents with the greatest strictness, as I learn from Spizelius in a late learned Tract*, wherein he shows, they persuade themselves the perfection of man doth consist in this, both with respect to the surviving ⟨p. 402⟩Parents and the deceased, for whom they are longer in solemn mourning than any other people. Before I leave this head, I cannot pass over a prodigious Instance† of the contrary vice, I mean monstrous ingratitude to Parents. 'Tis the unthankful Son of a more kind Father, who had made over his estate to all his Sons, with a reserve of a right by turns to come and take his diet at their Tables. This unnatural wretch being at dinner, and having a Goose before him, espied his Father coming, and set the Goose underneath the Table till his Father, was gone again: then (as is related) going to take up the hidden Goose, found it wonderfully turned into a great Toad, which leaped upon his face, and notwithstanding all his striving could not be removed, till it had stifled him. Let Children learn hence, to take heed of being ungrateful to their Patents for fear of the dreadful consequence thereof. Thus we have seen three particulars of Children's active obedience, there is yet another which is more passive, and that is,
which so affected the Governours, that they spared the Mother's life, and raised a monument of the daughter's ingenuous piety. The other of one Perns (for that seems to be her name) who in the same manner relieved her Father Cymon, and renewed his age the same way, in the same case, which it seems was so taking, that it was represented in a Picture when the Historian wrote, and that in Tiberius his time; so antient was that Table which our modern Painters copy. And this was the more notable, because this now old Cymon did by his own bonds purchase his Father's freedom. The Chinoises in their natural Religion do to this day pay their gratitude to their Parents with the greatest strictness, as I learn from Spizelius in a late learned Tract*, wherein he shews, they perswade themselves the perfection of man doth consist in this, both with respect to the surviving ⟨p. 402⟩Parents and the deceased, for whom they are longer in solemn mourning than any other people. Before I leave this head, I cannot pass over a prodigious Instance† of the contrary vice, I mean monstrous ingratitude to Parents. 'Tis the unthankful Son of a more kind Father, who had made over his estate to all his Sons, with a reserve of a right by turns to come and take his diet ac their Tables. This unnatural wretch being at dinner, and having a Goose before him, espied his Father coming, and set the Goose underneath the Table till his Father, was gone again: then (as is related) going to take up the hidden Goose, found it wonderfully turn'd into a great Toad, which leap'd upon his face, and notwithstanding all his striving could not be removed, till it had stifled him. Let Children learn hence, to take heed of being ungrateful to their Patents for fear of the dreadful consequence thereof. Thus we have seen three particulars of Childrens actiue obedience, there is yet another which is more passive, and that is,
*De re literaria sinensium, p. 243.
†Luth. l. c. com. de amore ergo paren. cum alii•.
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; thus we have good Children in the Book of God saluting their Parents: as Isaac his Father Abraham
; hasting to attend them in a lowly posture; thus Joseph, who liv'd as a Prince, made ready to meet, and presented himself to his Father, whom he had maintained.
; so Achsah, Caleb's daughter (who was married to her Cousin German) when she addressed her self to her Father, she alighted from her beast before she spoke to him
. Yet this is dissonant to the voice of Nature, which hath taught the very Chickens to hearken unto the clocking of the Hen; hath been ever distastful to the wiser Heathens, and would bring a disparagement upon the Christian institution. So that Christian Children should be very heedful of their Parents teachings, especially in the concerns of their souls. Hence (2.)
, yea and when put to pain, in things not only necessary, but of no reputation, supposing, in things purely indifferent both in their nature and use, their Parents to be more judicious to determine what is expedient and decent; yet not without the use of their own discerning faculty, nor without any examination in a blind irrational obsequ• ousness
, like the brutish obedience of the Jesuits Novic•s. For though I should grant that Parents have in some sort a power over the consciences of their Children, whiles they are as in God's stead
, swaying their apprehentions in their tenderest years, before they come to the use of their ripened reason: yet when there is a judgment of discerning betwixt good and evil, their obedience ought to be reas ••bl•, such as God requires to his own service, 〈non-Latin alphabet〉, such as is according
⟨p. 396⟩
to his Word, not merely childish, (though the obedience of Children) but acceptable
The Child in this case bowls best at the mark of his own contentment, who besides the aim of his own eye, is directed by his Father, who is to give the ground. To which may correspond a passage of Cyrus, who, when a match was propos'd to him, said, I like the Lady, her Dowry, and her Family: but I must have these agree with my Parents, and then I will marry her.
observ'd Affectus nostri nobis non serviunt, we cannot still keep our affections in a subserviency to our own, be sure not to another's reason:
; when their Parents are dead, they should see to the honourable interment of their bodies, in a deccent Christian manner, agreeable to the port and quality of both in the world, and the laudable custom of the place
: So to the preservation of their good name and reputation, by paying of their debts in due circumstances (especially if justly contracted for the childrens sake) according to abilities, for they are the wicked who borrow and pay not again
). And so we Birds (saith Aristophanes pleasantly) should return our Parents thanks in all offices of endearing kindness, &c. Aeneas was denominated pious, from that Heroick act of saving his decrepit Father out of flaming Troy, and the hands of raging enemies, by carrying him out on his shoulders. And the Children of Catania of old, in a sudden eruption of Aetna, for the exportation of their aged Parents were celebrated with much honour
, (what they of the same place did in the late one, I have not heard). They who would see among the Heathens greater variety of Instances for pious regards and impious ingratitude, may consult Valerius Maximus
counts most remarkable) of a woman giving suck, who, when her mother was condemn'd by the Praetor, had got from the Keeper liberty to visit her in Prison, upon daily search made to see she brought no victuals to her, whom the Keeper thought to have famish'd, but found alive after many days, sustain'd by her affectionate daughter's milk;
