A supplement to The Morning-exercise at Cripple-Gate, or, Several more cases of conscience practically…

Then real grace with all its faults, will be better than refined nature^(c), as light than darkness. Discretion will set a lustre on Religion, and is to be looked after; else how troublesome will it be for wisdom to be subject to folly? No one can live lovingly and comfortably with a Fool. Next an ungodly, an unworthy yoke-fellow (especially if in Husbands) is to be feared. And next to a religious and prudent, a pleasing person should be chosen; amiableness helps to root and settle amity, which gains reputation by an inheritance^(d). But in these things, especially the last, without regard to the former, Parents should take heed of exercising Tyranny: and when God hath given them children, how they give them away: be careful herein they do not contrary to my Text discourage their dutiful children by pressing them to marry where they cannot love: Because herein one^† characters the good Parent to be such, as draws arguments from his children's good, rather than his own authority; accounting it a style too princely, herein to will and command, he rather chooseth to will and desire: remembering the Parental power is for edification, not destruction; and should not be exerted to cast a child against its mind upon a disaffected (much less an unworthy) match. In the treaty of marriage betwixt Isaac and Rebekah, when there was a good agreement betwixt Abraham's Steward, and her Father and Brother, they would not come to a conclusion, till the Maid was called and asked as to her affection and consent^(e): All was but complement till that was gained: Parents herein are to persuade upon good reason, but 'tis too harsh to attempt the compelling of love. Some rigorous ones are apt, for their own worldly advantage, to use their awful authority, in matching to constrain their obedient children, contrary to their affections and dispositions: but they should rather learn of their Heavenly Father, who disposeth all things sweetly, and would have them to do so too: in the disposal of their children, he would have them do more with the sway of love, than power; and to be rather affectionate, than imperious in their Government. Grave and prudent Dr. Harris