God's anger

I am perplexed with the woeful consideration ¹of my sins; those bitter things which God writes against me, the irksome recollection of my transgressions. I can argue with Philosophers, consult with Politicians, hear the ingenious fancies of Poets, reason in domestic concernments, enjoy the company of moral and harmless friends with delight. I can pray with confidence to be heard, and satisfied; I do hope with some assurance of salvation; I sleep upon a peaceful pillow, Thus far I am in a calm and serene hemisphere, and quiet be all my thoughts.

I am perplexed with the wofull consideration ¹of my sins; those bitter things which God writes against me, the irkesome recollection of my transgressions. I can argue with Philosophers, consult with Politicians, hear the ingenious fancies of Poets, reason in domestick concernments, enjoy the company of morall and harmless friends with delight. I can pray with confidence to be heard, and satisfied; I do hope with some assurance of salvation; I sleep upon a peacefull pillow, Thus far I am in a calm and serene hemisphere, and quiet be all my thoughts.

1. 19

But after all this Sunshine, there ariseth a tempest. When I do recollect, or be represented unto my conscience, my innumerable, incomparable, intolerable sins; the remembrance of them is so frightful, the burden of them is so unsupportable, that I dare not even look up unto Heaven. Faith lies fainting, hope is in a swoon, fear stands by the bed side, despair lies gaping at the chamber door, my soul is in an ecstasy. I am weary of all company, but those that speak of mercy. I sit mourning all the day ⟨p. 82⟩long: Sorrow and solitude are my associates: I do shed some tears, and would weep tears of blood for my sins. I lament because my sorrows are not greater for offending my God.