A26870:81
A breviate of the life of Margaret, the daughter of Francis Charlton ... and…
A breviate of the life of Margaret, the daughter of Francis Charlton ... and wife of Richard Baxter ... : there is also published the character of her mother, truly described in her published funeral sermon, reprinted at her daughters request, called, The last work of a believer, his passing-prayer recommending his departing spirit to Christ, to be received by him.
London: printed for B. Simmons, 1681
Chapter 3: The workings of her soul in and after this Sickness.
Modern spelling is a reading aid: the words are the author’s, only the spelling is modernized. Original shows the page as printed, with the transcription marks.
Decemb. 30. was my worst day: I did not then think to be alive this day; I ought not to forget it. On Jan. 1. New-years-day, I first bled at the nose largely, and after mended. The fourth day was kept in humiliation for me. April 10. was a day of Thanksgiving. When I thought I should dye, I was more than ordinarily sensible of my unprofitable life; and had such convictions as usually people in my condition ⟨p. 28⟩have; and I then made many resolutions as in such cases others do. I remembered that I had heard much of the promises that many made in sickness, which they never performed; and I thought it was gross hypocrisy to speak now of that which I was past performing (as I thought); but that I were better write down my purposes, and discover them if God recovered me, that they might be as strong an engagement on me, as if I had spoken them to men. I. I resolved that I would endeavour to get and keep a sense of that great mercy of Gods restoring me from the peril of threatened death, in answer of prayers; which was the greater, in that God threatened to take me hence when I was but in the birth, and had scarce well begun to live. This mercy I promised to be thankful for, and to acknowledge other mercies as God should make me able. II. I resolved that I would endeavour to be in a fixed state and way of duty; and in order to this, I would take advice of one who is (I conceive) most fit to advise me. And I resolve by Gods assistance, that I will not consult with flesh and blood, nor study my carnal interest, but resolvedly set on the way of my duty, and freely discourse my thoughts, so far as is requisite to my just advice. And that I will speak my reasons and heart-risings against any thing that is propounded to me, which I judg unmeet. And I resolved when I saw my duty, cheerfully to do it, and keep a sense of the sweetness and obligations of Gods love and mercy. III. I resolved to pray and labour for a true sense of the sins of this Nation in general; and in particular ⟨p. 29⟩of the sins of my Relations, and of my own. And that till it please God to give me cause of rejoicing on the behalf of my Relations, and of my own souls recovery and spiritual welfare, I will continue with humiliation to supplicate the Lord. And though I would not shut out a greater duty by a lesser, yet I will avoid all manner of Feastings as much as I well can, and all noxious sensual delights;