XXVI. 1. For all his assurance, a confirmed Christian is so well acquainted with his manifold imperfections, and daily failings, and great ⟨p. 70⟩unworthiness, that he is very low and vile in his own eyes; and therefore can easily endure to be low and vile in the eyes of others: He hath a constant sense of the burden of his remaining sin: Especially he doth even abhor himself, when he findeth the averseness of his heart to God, and how little he knoweth of him, and how little he loveth him, in comparison of what he ought, and how little of Heaven is upon his heart, and how strange and backward his thoughts are to the life to come. These are as fetters upon his soul: He daily groaneth under them as a captive, that he should be yet so carnal, and unable to shake off the remnant of his infirmities, as if he were sold under sin, that is, in bondage to it, Rom. 7.14. He hateth himself more for the imperfections of his love and obedience to God, than hypocrites do for their reigning sin. And O how he longeth for the day of his deliverance! Rom. 7.24. He thinketh it no great injury for another to judge of him as he judgeth of himself, even to be less than the least of all Gods mercies: He is more troubled for being over praised and overvalued, than for being dispraised and vilified; as thinking those that praise him are more mistaken, and lay the more dangerous snare for his soul. For he hath a special antipathy to pride: and wondereth that any rational man can be so blind as not to see enough to humble him: For his own part (in the midst of all Gods graces) he seeth in himself so much darkness, imperfection, corruption, and want of further grace, that he is loathsome and burdensome continually to himself: If you see him sad or troubled, and ask him the cause, it is ten to one but it is himself ⟨p. 71⟩that he complaineth of: The frowardest wife, the most undutiful child, the most disobedient servant, the most injurious neighbour, the most malicious enemy, is not half so great a trouble to him as he is to himself. He prayeth abundantly more against his own corruption, than against any of these. O could he but know and love God more, and be more in heaven, and willinger to die, and freer from his own distempers, how easily could he bear all crosses, or injuries from others? He came to Christs school as a little child, Mat. 18.3. And still he is little in his own esteem:
XXVI. 1. For all his assurance, a confirmed Christian is so well acquainted with his manifold imperfections, and daily failings, and great ⟨p. 70⟩unworthiness, that he is very low and vile in his owne eyes; and therefore can easily endure to be low and vile in the eyes of others: He hath a constant sense of the burden of his remaining sin: Especially he doth even abhor himself, when he findeth the averseness of his heart to God, and how little he knoweth of him, and how little he loveth him, in comparison of what he ought, and how little of Heaven is upon his heart, and how strange and backward his thoughts are to the life to come. These are as fetters upon his soul: He daily groaneth under them as a captive, that he should be yet so carnal, and unable to shake off the remnant of his infimities, as if he were sold under sin, that is, in bondage to it, Rom. 7.14. He hateth himself more for the imperfections of his love and obedience to God, than hypocrites do for their reigning sin. And O how he longeth for the day of his deliverance! Rom. 7.24. He thinketh it no great injury for another to judge of him as he judgeth of himself, even to be less than the least of all Gods mercies: He is more troubled for being over praised and overvalued, than for being dispraised and vilified; as thinking those that praise him are more mistaken, and lay the more dangerous snare for his soul. For he hath a special antipathy to pride: and wondreth that any rational man can be so blind as not to see enough to humble him: For his own part (in the midst of all Gods graces) he seeth in himself so much darkness, imperfection, corruption, and want of further grace, that he is loathsom and burdensom continually to himself: If you see him sad or troubled, and ask him the cause, it is ten to one but it is himself ⟨p. 71⟩that he complaineth of: The frowardest wife, the most undutiful child, the most disobedient servant, the most injurious neighbour, the most malicious enemy, is not half so great a trouble to him as he is to himself. He prayeth abundantly more against his own corruption, than against any of these. O could he but know and love God more, and be more in heaven, and willinger to die, and freer from his own distempers, how easily could he bear all crosses, or injuries from others? He came to Christs school as a little child, Mat. 18.3. And still he is little in his own esteem:
