Directions for weak distempered Christians, to grow up to a confirmed state of grace…

3. But to the Hypocrite or seeming Christian, Death and Judgement are the most unwelcome days, and the thoughts of them the most unwelcome thoughts: He would take any tolerable life on earth, at any time, for all his hopes of Heaven; and that not only through the doubts of his own sincerity (which may sometime be the case of a tempted Christian) but through the unsoundness of his belief of the life to come, or the utter unsuitableness of his soul to such a blessedness; which maketh him look at it as less desirable to him, than a life of fleshly pleasures here. All that he doth for Heaven is upon mere necessity, because he knoweth that Die he must, and he had rather be in Heaven than in Hell, though he had rather be in prosperity on earth than either: And as he taketh Heaven but as a reserve or second good, so he seeketh it with reserves, and in the second place: And having no better preparations for Death and Judgement, no marvel if they be his greatest terror. He may possibly by his self-deceit have some abatement of his fears, and he may by Pride and Wit seem very valiant and comfortable at his death, to hide his fear and pusillanimity from the world. But ⟨p. 170⟩the […] of all his misery is, that he sought not first the Kingdom of God and his Righteousness, and laid not up a treasure in Heaven, but upon earth, and loved this world above God, & above the world to come, and so his heart is not set on Heaven, nor his affections on the things above; and therefore he hath not that Love to God, to Christ, to Saints, to perfect Holiness, which should make that world most desirable in his eyes, and make him think unfeignedly that it is best for him to depart and live with Christ for ever. Having not the Divine Nature, nor having lived the Divine Life in walking with God, his complacency and desires are carnal according to the nature which he hath. And this is the true cause, (and not only his doubts of his own sincerity) of his unwillingness to die, or to see the day of Christs appearance, Matth. 6.33.19.20, 21. 1 Joh. 2.15. Col. 3.1, 2, 3, 4. Rom. 8.5, 6, 7, 8.