The divine life in three treatises

4. Also cross-interests and unsuitableness may exceedingly interrupt the fastest friendship. Friendship is very much founded ⟨p. 306⟩in suitableness, and maintained by it: And among mortals, there is no perfect suitableness to be found; but much unsuitableness still remaineth. That which pleaseth one, is displeasing to another: One liketh this place, and the other that: One liketh this habit, and the other that: One is for mirth, and the other for sadness: One for talk, and the other for silence: One for a public, and the other for a private life. And their personality or individuation having self-love as inseparable, will unavoidably cause a contrariety of interests. The Creature is insufficient for us: If one have it, perhaps the other must want it: Like a covering too narrow for the bed. Sometimes our Reputations seem to stand cross, so that one mans is diminished by another's: and then how apt is envy to create a grudge, and raise unfriendly jealousies and distastes! Sometimes the commodity of one is the discommodity of the other: And then [Mine and Thine] (which are contrary to the community of friendship) may divide, and alienate, and make Two of those that seemed One. The instances of Abraham and Lot (upon the difference among their servants) and of Isaac and Ishmael, and of Jacob and Esau, and of Laban and Jacob, and of Leah and Rachel, and of Joseph and his Brethren, and of Saul and David, and of Ziba, Mephibosheth and David, with many others tell us this. It is rare to meet with a Jonathan, that will endearedly love that man to the death, who is appointed to deprive him of a Kingdom. If one can but say [I suffer by him, or I am a looser by him] it seemeth enough to excuse unfriendly thoughts and actions. When you can gratify the desires of all the covetous, ambitious, self-seeking persons in the world, or else cure their diseases, and possess their minds with perfect Charity, then all the world will be your friends.

4. Also cross-interests and unsuitableness may exceedingly interrupt the fastest friendship. Friendship is very much founded ⟨p. 306⟩in suitableness, and maintained by it: And among mortals, there is no perfect suitableness to be found; but much unsuitableness still remaineth. That which pleaseth one, is displeasing to another: One liketh this place, and the other that: One liketh this habit, and the other that: One is for mirth, and the other for sadness: One for talk, and the other for silence: One for a publick, and the other for a private life. And their personality or individuation having self-love as inseparable, will unavoidably cause a contrariety of interests. The Creature is insufficient for us: If one have it, perhaps the other must want it: Like a covering too narrow for the bed. Sometimes our Reputations seem to stand cross, so that one mans is diminished by anothers: and then how apt is envy to create a grudge, and raise unfriendly jealousies and distastes! Sometimes the commodity of one is the discommodity of the other: And then [Mine and Thine] (which are contrary to the community of friendship) may divide, and alienate, and make Two of those that seemed One. The instances of Abraham and Lot (upon the difference among their servants) and of Isaac and Ishmael, and of Jacob and Esau, and of Laban and Jacob, and of Leah and Rachel, and of Joseph and his Brethren, and of Saul and David, and of Ziba, Mephibosheth and David, with many others tell us this. It is rare to meet with a Jonathan, that will endearedly love that man to the death, who is appointed to deprive him of a Kingdome. If one can but say [I suffer by him, or I am a looser by him] it seemeth enough to excuse unfriendly thoughts and actions. When you can gratifie the desires of all the covetous, ambitious, self-seeking persons in the world, or else cure their diseases, and possess their minds with perfect Charity, then all the world will be your friends.