The divine life in three treatises

6. And I have observed another of the Reasons of Gods permitting the failing of our friends, in the season and success. It is, that the Love of our friends may not hinder us when we are called to suffer or dye. When we over-love them, it teareth our very hearts to leave them: And therefore it is a strong temptation ⟨p. 319⟩to draw us from our duty, and to be unfaithful to the cause of Christ, lest we should be taken from our too-dear friends, or lest our suffering cause their too-much grief. It is so hard a thing to dye with willingness and peace, that it must needs be a mercy to be saved from the impediments which make us backward: And the excessive Love of friends and relations, is not the least of these impediments: O how loth is many a one to dye, when they think of parting with wife, or husband, or children, or dear and faithful friends! Now I have oft observed, that a little before their death or sickness, it is ordinary with God to permit some unkindness between such too-dear friends to arise, by which he moderated and abated their affections, and made them a great deal the willinger to dye. Then we are ready to say, It is time for me to leave the world, when not only the rest of the world, but my dearest friends have first forsaken me! This helpeth us to remember our dearest everlasting friend, and to be grieved at the heart that we have been no truer our selves to him, who would not have forsaken us in our extremity. And sometime it maketh us even aweary of the world, and to say as Elijah, Lord take away my life, &c. 1 King. 19. 4, 10, 14. when we must say, I thought I had one friend left, and behold even he forsaketh me in my distress.] As the Love of friends entangleth our affections to this world, so to be weaned by their unkindnesses from our friends, is a great help to loosen us from the world, and proveth oft a very great mercy to a soul that is ready to depart.

6. And I have observed another of the Reasons of Gods permitting the failing of our friends, in the season and success. It is, that the Love of our friends may not hinder us when we are called to suffer or dye. When we over-love them, it teareth our very hearts to leave them: And therefore it is a strong temptation ⟨p. 319⟩to draw us from our duty, and to be unfaithful to the cause of Christ, lest we should be taken from our too-dear friends, or lest our suffering cause their too-much grief. It is so hard a thing to dye with willingness and peace, that it must needs be a mercy to be saved from the impediments which make us backward: And the excessive Love of friends and relations, is not the least of these impediments: O how loth is many a one to dye, when they think of parting with wife, or husband, or children, or dear and faithful friends! Now I have oft observed, that a little before their death or sickness, it is ordinary with God to permit some unkindness between such too-dear friends to arise, by which he moderated and abated their affections, and made them a great deal the willinger to dye. Then we are ready to say, It is time for me to leave the world, when not only the rest of the world, but my dearest friends have first forsaken me! This helpeth us to remember our dearest everlasting friend, and to be grieved at the heart that we have been no truer our selves to him, who would not have forsaken us in our extremity. And sometime it maketh us even aweary of the world, and to say as Elias, Lord take away my life, &c.