The divine life in three treatises

Self-denial was not perfect in them, selfishness therefore in this hour of temptation did prevail. They had before forsaken all to follow Christ; they had left their Parents, their Families, their Estates, their Trades, to be his Disciples: But though they believed him to be the Christ, yet they dreamt of a visible Kingdom, and did all this with too carnal expectations of being great men on earth, when Christ should begin his reign. And therefore when they saw his apprehension and ignominious suffering, and thought now they were frustrate of their hopes, they seem to repent that they had followed him (though not by apostasy and an habitual or plenary change of mind, yet) by a sudden passionate frightful apprehension, ⟨p. 325⟩which vanished when grace performed its part. They now began to think that they had lives of their Own to save, and families of their Own to mind, and business of their Own to do: They had before forsaken their private interests and affairs, and gathered themselves to Jesus Christ, and lived in communion with him, and one another. But now they return to their trades and callings, and are scattered every man to his own.

Self-denyal was not perfect in them, selfishness therefore in this hour of temptation did prevail. They had before forsaken all to follow Christ; they had left their Parents, their Families, their Estates, their Trades, to be his Disciples: But though they believed him to be the Christ, yet they dreamt of a visible Kingdome, and did all this with too carnal expectations of being great men on earth, when Christ should begin his reign. And therefore when they saw his apprehension and ignominious suffering, and thought now they were frustrate of their hopes, they seem to repent that they had followed him (though not by apostasie and an habitual or plenary change of mind, yet) by a sudden passionate frightful apprehension, ⟨p. 325⟩which vanished when grace performed its part. They now began to think that they had lives of their Own to save, and families of their Own to mind, and business of their Own to do: They had before forsaken their private interests and affairs, and gathered themselves to Jesus Christ, and lived in communion with him, and one another. But now they return to their trades and callings, and are scattered every man to his own.