O blessed be that High and everlasting friend, who is every way suited to the upright souls! To their Minds, their Memories, their Delight, their Love, &c. by surest Truth, by fullest Goodness, by clearest Light, by dearest Love, by firmest Constancy, &c.—O why hath my drowsy and dark-sighted soul been so seldom with him! why hath it so often, so strangely, and so unthankfully passed by, and not observed him, nor hearkened to his kindest calls! O what is all this trash and trouble▪ that hath filled my memory, and employed my mind, and cheated and corrupted my affections, while my dearest Lord hath been days and nights so unworthily forgotten, so contemptuously neglected and disregarded, and loved as if I loved him ⟨p. 376⟩not! O that these drowsy and those waking nights, those loitered, lost, and empty hours had been spent in the humblest converse with him, which have been dreamed and doted away upon—now I know not what! O my God, how much wiser and happier had I been, had I rather chosen to mourn with thee, than to rejoice and sport with any other! O that I had rather wept with thee, than laughed with the creature! For the time to come let that be my friend, that most befriendeth my dark, and dull, and backward soul, in its undertaken progress, and heavenly conversation! Or if there be none such upon earth, let me here take no one for my friend! O blot out every Name from my corrupted heart, which hindereth the deeper engraving of thy Name! Ah Lord, what a stone, what a blind ungrateful thing, is a Heart not touched with celestial Love! yet shall I not run to thee, when I have none else that will know me! shall I not draw near thee, when all fly from me! When daily experience crieth out so loud [NONE BUT CHRIST: GOD OR NOTHING.] Ah foolish Heart, that hast thought of it [Where is that place, that Cave or Desert, where I might soonest find thee, and fullest enjoy thee? is it in the wilderness that thou walkest, or in the crowd: in the Closet, or in the Church? where is it that I might soonest meet with God?] But alas, I now perceive, that I have a Heart to find, before I am like to find my Lord! O Loveless, Lifeless, stony heart! that's dead to him that gave it Life! and to none but him! Could I not Love, or Think, or Feel at all, methinks I were less dead than now? Less dead, if dead, than now I am alive?
O blessed be that High and everlasting friend, who is every way suited to the upright souls! To their Minds, their Memories, their Delight, their Love, &c. by surest Truth, by fullest Goodness, by clearest Light, by dearest Love, by firmest Constancy, &c.—O why hath my drowsie and dark-sighted soul been so seldome with him! why hath it so often, so strangely, and so unthankfully passed by, and not observed him, nor hearkened to his kindest calls! O what is all this trash and trouble▪ that hath filled my memory, and employed my mind, and cheated and corrupted my affections, while my dearest Lord hath been daies and nights so unworthily forgotten, so contemptuously neglected and disregarded, and loved as if I loved him ⟨p. 376⟩not! O that these drowsie and those waking nights, those loitered, lost, and empty hours had been spent in the humblest converse with him, which have been dreamed and doted away upon—now I know not what! O my God, how much wiser and happier had I been, had I rather chosen to mourn with thee, than to rejoyce and sport with any other! O that I had rather wept with thee, than laughed with the creature! For the time to come let that be my friend, that most befriendeth my dark, and dull, and backward soul, in its undertaken progress, and heavenly conversation! Or if there be none such upon earth, let me here take no one for my friend! O blot out every Name from my corrupted heart, which hindereth the deeper engraving of thy Name! Ah Lord, what a stone, what a blind ungrateful thing, is a Heart not touched with celestial Love! yet shall I not run to thee, when I have none else that will know me! shall I not draw near thee, when all fly from me! When daily experience cryeth out so loud [NONE BUT CHRIST: GOD OR NOTHING.] Ah foolish Heart, that hast thought of it [Where is that place, that Cave or Desert, where I might soonest find thee, and fullest enjoy thee? is it in the wilderness that thou walkest, or in the croud: in the Closet, or in the Church? where is it that I might soonest meet with God?] But alas, I now perceive, that I have a Heart to find, before I am like to find my Lord! O Loveless, Lifeless, stony heart! that's dead to him that gave it Life! and to none but him! Could I not Love, or Think, or Feel at all, methinks I were less dead than now? Less dead, if dead, than now I am alive?
