The divine life in three treatises

I had almost said [Lord, let me never Love more till I can Love thee? Nor think more on any thing till I can more willingly think of thee?] But I must suppress that wish; for Life will act: And the mercies and motions of Nature are necessary to those of Grace. And therefore in the life of Nature, and in the glimmerings of thy Light, I will wait for more of the Celestial life! My God, thou hast my consent! It is here attested under my hand: Separate me from what and whom thou wilt so I may but be nearer thee! Let me Love thee more, and feel more of ⟨p. 377⟩thy Love, and then let me Love or be beloved of the world, as little as thou wilt.

I thought self-love had been a more predominant thing: But now I find that Repentance hath its Anger, its Hatred and its Revenge! I am truly Angry with that Heart that hath so oft and foolishly offended thee! Methinks I hate that Heart that is so cold and backward in thy love, and almost grudge it a dwelling in my breast! Alas when Love should be the life of Prayer, the life of holy meditation, the life of Sermons and of holy conference, and my soul in these should long to meet thee, and delight to mention thee, I straggle Lord, I know not whither! or I sit still and wish, but do not rise and run and follow thee, yea I do not what I seem to do. All's dead, all's dead, for want of Love! I often cry, O where is that place, where the quickening beams of Heaven are warmest, that my frozen soul might seek it out! But whither ever I go, to City or to Solitude, alas, I find it is not Place that makes the difference. I know that Christ is perfectly replenished with Life and Light and Love Divine: And I hear him as our Head and Treasure proclaimed and offered to us in the Gospel! This is thy Record, that he that hath the Son hath Life! O why then is my barren soul so empty! I thought I had long ago consented to thy offer; and then according to thy Covenant, both He and Life in him are mine! And yet must I still be dark and dead!