Richard Baxter's dying thoughts upon Phil. I, 23 written for his own life and…

§ 20. But we are oft ready to say with Cicero, when he had been reading such as Plato, that while the Book is in our Hands, we seem confident of our Immortality, and when we lay it by our doubts return; so our Arguments seem clear and cogent, and yet when we think not of them with the best advantage, we are oft surprised with Fear, lest we should be mistaken, and our Hopes be vain; and hereupon) and from the common fear of Death, that even good men too often manifest) the ⟨p. 62⟩Infidels gather that we do but force our Selves into such a Hope as we desire to be true, against the tendency of mans Nature and that we were not made for a better World.

§ 20. But we are oft ready to say with Cicero, when he had been reading such as Plato, that while the Book is in our Hands, we seem confident of our Immortality, and when we lay it by our doubts return; so our Arguments seem clear and cogent, and yet when we think not of them with the best advantage, we are oft surprized with Fear, lest we should be mistaken, and our Hopes be vain; and hereupon) and from the common fear of Death, that even good men too often manifest) the ⟨p. 62⟩Infidels gather that we do but force our Selves into such a Hope as we desire to be true, against the tendency of mans Nature and that we were not made for a better World.

§ 21. But this fallacy ariseth from mens not distinguishing, 1. sensitive fears from Rational uncertainty, or doubts. 2. And the mind that is in the darkness of unbelief, from that which hath the Light of Faith.

I find in my self too much of fear, when I look into Eternity, interrupting and weakening my Desires and Joy. But I find that it is very much an irrational sensitive Fear, which the Darkness of Man's mind, the Greatness of the Change, the dreadful Majesty of God, and Man's Natural averseness to die, do in some degree necessitate, even when Reason is fully satisfied that such fears are consistent with certain safety. If I were bound with the strongest Chains, or stood on the surest Battlements, on the top of a Castle or Steeple, I could not possibly look down without fear, and such as would go near to overcome me; and yet I should be rationally sure, that I am there fast and safe and cannot fall. So is it with our Prospect into the Life to come: Fear is oft a necessitated Passion: When a Man is certain of his safe Foundation, it will violently rob him of the comfort of that Certainty: Yea it is a passion that irrationally doth much to corrupt our Reason it self, and would make us doubt because we fear, though we know not why: And a fearful Man doth hardly trust his own apprehensions of his safety, but among other Fears, is still ready to fear lest he be deceived: Like timorous Melancholy Persons about their Bodies, who are ready still to think that every little Distemper is a mortal Symptom, and that worse is still near them than they feel, and they hardly believe any words of hope.