Richard Baxter's dying thoughts upon Phil. I, 23 written for his own life and…

3. And alas how dear a Vanity is this Knowledge! That which is but Theoretical and Notional is but a tickling delectation of the Fantasy or Mind, little differing from a pleasant dream: But how many Hours, what gazing of the wearied Eye, what stretching Thoughts of the impatient Brain▪ must it cost us, if we will attain to any Excellency. Well saith Solomon, Much reading is a weariness to the Flesh, and He that increaseth Knowledge increaseth sorrow. How many hundred studious Days and Weeks, and how many hard and tearing Thoughts, hath my little, very little knowledge cost me? And how much infirmity and painfulness to my Flesh, increase of painful Diseases, and loss of Bodily ease and health? How much pleasure to my self of other kinds, ⟨p. 90⟩and how much acceptance with men, have I lost by it, which I might easily have had in a more Conversant and plausible way of life? And when all is done, if I reach to know any more than others, of my place and order, I must differ so much (usually) from them: And if I manifest not that difference, but keep all that knowledge to my self, I sin against Conscience and Nature it self: The Love of Man, and the Love of Truth oblige me to be soberly Communicative: Were I so indifferent to Truth and Knowledge, as easily to forbear their propagation, I must also be so indifferent to them, as not to think them worth so dear a Price as they have cost me (Though they are the free Gifts of God:) As Nature is universally inclined to the propagation of the kind by Generation; so is the Intellectual Nature to the Communication of Knowledge (which yet hath its Lust, and inordinacy in proud ignorant hasty Teachers, and Disputers, as the Generating faculty hath in Fornicators and Adulterers.)

3. And alas how dear a Vanity is this Knowledge! That which is but Theorical and Notional is but a tickling delectation of the Phantasie or Mind, little differing from a pleasant dream: But how many Hours, what gazing of the wearied Eye, what stretching Thoughts of the impatient Brain▪ must it cost us, if we will attain to any Excellency. Well saith Solomon, Much reading is a weariness to the Flesh, and He that increaseth Knowledge increaseth sorrow. How many hundred studious Days and Weeks, and how many hard and tearing Thoughts, hath my little, very little knowledg cost me? And how much infirmity and painfulness to my Flesh, increase of painful Diseases, and loss of Bodily ease and health? How much pleasure to my self of other kinds,