Richard Baxter's dying thoughts upon Phil. I, 23 written for his own life and…

No Friends have a perfect suitableness to each other: and roughness and inequalities that are nearest us are most troublesome. The wonderful variety and contrariety of apprehensions, interest, educations, temperaments, and occasions, and temptations, &c. are such that whilst we are scandalized at the discord & confusions of the World, we must recall our selves and admire that all ruling Providence, which keepeth up so much order and concord as there is: We are indeed like People in crowded Streets, who going several ways molest each other with their jostling oppositions: Or like Boys at Foot-ball striving to overthrow each other for the Ball: But it is a wonder of Divine Power and Wisdom that all the World is not continually in mortal War.

No Friends have a perfect suitableness to each other: and roughness and inequalities that are nearest us are most troublesom. The wonderful variety and contrariety of apprehensions, interest, educations, temperaments, and occasions, and temptations, &c. are such that whilest we are scandalized at the discord & confusions of the World, we must recal our selves and admire that all ruling Providence, which keepeth up so much order and concord as there is: We are indeed like People in crowded Streets, who going several ways molest each other with their jostling oppositions: Or like Boys at Foot-ball striving to overthrow each other for the Ball: But it is a wonder of Divine Power and Wisdom that all the World is not continually in mortal War.

If I do men no harm, yet if I do but cross their Wills, it goeth for a provoking injury: And when there are as many Wills as Persons, who is it that can please them all: Who hath Money enough to please all the Poor ⟨p. 97⟩that need it, or the Covetous that desire it. Or who can live with displeased men, and not feel some of the fruits of their displeasure? What day goeth over my Head in which abundance desire not or expect not impossibilities from me? And how great is the number of them that expect unrighteous things? By nothing do I displease so many as by not displeasing God and my Conscience. And for nothing am so deeply accused of sin as for not sinning: And the World will not think well of any thing that crosseth their Opinion and Carnal interest, be it never so conform to God's Commands: I must confess that while I suffer from all sides, few men have more common and open Praises from their Persecutors than I: But while they praise me in the general, and for other particulars, they aggravate my Non-conformity to their Opinions and Wills, and take me to be so much the more hurtful to them. The greatest Crimes that have been charged on me, have been for the things which I thought to be my greatest duties; and for those parts of my obedience to my Conscience and God, which cost me dearest: And where I pleased my Flesh least, I pleased the World least. At how cheap a rate to my Flesh could I have got the Applause of factious men, if that had been my end and business? Would I have conformed to their Wills, and taken a Bishopric, and the Honour and Riches of the World, how good a Man had I been called by the Diocesan party? And O what praise I should have with the Papists, could I turn Papist! And all the backbitings and bitter Censures of the Antinomians, Anabaptists and Separatists, had been turned into praise, could I have said as they, or not contradicted them. But otherwise there is no escaping their accusations. And is this tumultuous, militant,