Richard Baxter's dying thoughts upon Phil. I, 23 written for his own life and…

But God in great Mercy to me hath made this my Lot (not causing but permitting the sins of the contentious) that I might before death be better weaned from all below: Had my temptations from inordinate Applause had no allay, they might have been more dangerously strong. Even yet while Church-Dividers on both extremes do make me the Object of their daily obloquy, the continued respects of the sober and peaceable, are so great as to be a temptation strong enough, to so weak a Person, to give a check to my desires to leave the World. It is long since Riches and worldly Honour appeared to me as they are, as not rendering the World much lovely or desirable. But the Love ⟨p. 108⟩and Concord of Religious Persons hath a more amiable Aspect: There is so much Holiness in these, that I was loth to call them Vanity and Vexation: But yet as Flesh and Blood would refer them to selfish Ends, and any way value them as a Carnal interest, I must so call them, and number them with the things that are Loss and Dung, Phil. 3. 7, 8. Selfishness can serve itself upon things good and holy: And if good men, and good Books, and good Sermons would make the World seem overlovely to us, it will be a Mercy of God to abate the temptation: And if my Soul looking toward the heavenly Jerusalem, be hindered as Paul was in his Journey to Jerusalem, Act. 20. & 21. by the Love of ancient Friends and Hearers, I must say, What mean you to weep and break my Heart! I am ready to leave the dearest Friends on Earth, and life, and all the pleasures of life, for the presence of far better Friends with Christ, and the sweeter pleasures of a better life. That little amiableness which is in things below, is in godly men as life in the Heart, which dieth last: When that's all gone, when we are dead to the Love of the godly themselves, and to Learning, Books, and mediate Ordinances, so far as they serve a selfish interest, and tempt down our Hearts from heavenly aspirings, the World then is Crucified to us indeed, and we to it: I rejoice to tread in the Footsteps of my Lord, who had some indeed weeping about his cross, but was forsaken by all his Disciples, while in the Hour of Temptation they all fled▪ But my desertion is far less, for it is less that I am fit to bear. If God will justify, who shall condemn? If he be for me, who shall be against me?