Richard Baxter's dying thoughts upon Phil. I, 23 written for his own life and…

§ 8. III. That my Soul is no more heavenly, and my foretaste of future Blessedness is so small, is partly the fruit of those many wilful sins, by which I have quenched the Spirit that should be my Comforter: And it is ⟨p. 209⟩partly from our common state of darkness and strangeness, while the Soul is in Flesh, and operateth as the Bodies form, according to its Interest and Capacity: Affections are more easily stirred up to things seen, than to things that are both unseen, and known only very defectively, by general, and not by clear distinct apprehensions. And yet this, O this is the misery and burden of my Soul! Though I can say that I love God's Truth and Graces, his Work, and his Servants, and whatever of God I see in the World, and that this is a love of God in his Creatures, Word and Works; yet that I have no more desiring and delightful Love of Heaven, where his Loveliness will be more fully opened to my Soul, and that the thoughts of my speedy appearing there, are no more joyful to me, than they are, is my sin, and my calamity, and my shame: And if I did not see that it is so with other of the Servants of Christ, as well as with me, I should doubt whether affections so unproportionable to my Profession, did not signify unsoundness in my belief. It is strange and shameful that one that expecteth quickly to see the glorious World, and to enter the Holy Celestial Society, should be no more joyfully affected with these hopes: And that I should make any great matter of the pain and languishing and perishing of the Flesh, when it is the common way to such an end? O hateful sin that hath so darkened and corrupted Souls, as to estrange and undispose them to the only state of their hoped happiness: Alas, what did Man when he forsook the Love and Obedience of his God? How just it is that this Flesh and World should become our Prison, which we would make our home, and would not use as our Lord appointed us, as our Servant and way to our better state? Though our way must not be our home, our Father ⟨p. 210⟩would not have been so strange to us in the way, if we had not unthankfully turned away from his Grace and Love.

§ 8. III. That my Soul is no more heavenly, and my foretast of future Blessedness is so small, is partly the fruit of those many wilful sins, by which I have quenched the Spirit that should be my Comforter: And it is ⟨p. 209⟩