Richard Baxter's dying thoughts upon Phil. I, 23 written for his own life and…

§ 10. And if my want of the Knowledge and Love of God, and joyful communion with the heavenly Society, by my Prison and as the Suburbs of Hell, should it not make me long for the Day of my Redemption, and the glorious liberty of the Sons of God? My true desires of deliverance, and of Holiness and Perfection, are my Evidences that I shall obtain them. As the Will is the Sinner, so it is the obstinate continuance of a Will to sin, which is the bondage, and the cause of continued sin: And a continued Hell, is continued sin, as to the first part at least: Therefore they that continue in Hell, do continue in a sinning Will, and so continue in a Love and willingness of so much of Hell. So far as God maketh us willing to be delivered from sin, so far we are delivered: And our initial imperfect deliverance is the way to more. If pains then make me groan for ease, and sickness make me wish for Health, why should not my remnants of Ignorance, Unbelief, and Strangeness to God, occasion me to long for the Day of my Salvation? This is the greatest of all my troubles: And should it not then be the greatest ⟨p. 212⟩wearying burden from which I should earnestly desire to be eased: As Grace never doth hurt efficiently, and yet may be ill used and do hurt objectively (as to them that are proud of it) so sin never doth good efficiently and of itself, and yet objectively may do good: For sin may be the Object of Grace, and so to use it is not sin. My unbelief, and darkness, and disaffection, and inordinate love of this life, do of themselves most hinder my desires of deliverance and of a better life; but objectively what more fit to make me a weary of such a grievous state? Were my unbelief and earthly mind predominant, they would chain my affections to this World; or if I were constrainedly weary of a miserable life, I should have no comfortable hopes of a better. But as it is the Nature of my sin to draw down my Heart from God and Glory, it is the nature of my Faith, and Hope, and Love to carry it upward, and to desire the heavenly Perfection: Not to love Death, but to love that which is beyond it.

And have I been so many years in the School of Christ, learning both how to live and die, begging and studying for this Grace, and exercising it against this sinful Flesh, and shall I now after all find Flesh more powerful to draw me downward, than Faith, Hope and Love to carry my desires up to God!