Richard Baxter's dying thoughts upon Phil. I, 23 written for his own life and…

20. Therefore there is no Rest for Souls but in the Will of God: That will created us, and that will did govern us, and that will shall be fulfilled on us. It was our Efficient and our Regent Cause, and it shall be our ⟨p. 222⟩End. Where else is it that we should rest? In the will of men, or Angels, or in our own wills? All Creatures are but Creatures: And our own Wills have undone us: They have misgoverned us, and they are our greatest Enemies; our Disease, our Prison, and our Death, till they are brought over to the will of God: Till then they are like a Foot out of joint; like a Child or Subject in Rebellion! There is no rectitude or health, no order, no peace or true felicity, but in the Conformity of our wills to the will of God. And shall I die in distrustful striving against his will, and desiring to keep up my own before it.

21. What abundant experience have I had of God's fidelity and love? and after all this shall I not trust him? His undeserved Mercy gave me being, it chose my Parents; it gave them a tender love to me, and desire of my good; it taught them to instruct me early in his Word, and to Educate me in his fear: It chose me suitable Company and Habitation: It gave me betimes a teachable ingeny: It chose my School-masters: It brought to my Hands many excellent and suitable Books: It gave me some profitable public Teachers: It placed me in the best of Lands on Earth; and I think in the best of Ages which that Land had seen: It did early destroy all great expectations and desires of the World, teaching me to bear the Yoke from my youth, and causing me rather to groan under my infirmities, than to fight with strong and potent Lusts: It chastened me betimes, but did not destroy me. Great Mercy hath trained me up all my days, since I was Nineteen years of Age, in the School of Affliction, to keep my sluggish Soul awake in the constant expectations of my change, and to kill my Pride, and overvaluing of this World, and to lead all ⟨p. 223⟩my studies to the most necessary things, and as a Spur to excite my Soul to seriousness, and especially to save me from the supine neglect and loss of time: O what unspeakable Mercy hath a life of constant but gentle Chastisement proved to me? It urged me against all dull delays, to make my Calling and Election sure, and to make ready my accounts as one that must quickly give them up to God. The Face of Death, and nearness of Eternity, did much convince me, what Books to read, what studies to prefer and prosecute, what Company and Conversation to choose! It drove me early into the Vineyard of the Lord; and taught me to preach as a dying Man to dying men: It was Divine Love and Mercy which made Sacred Truth, so pleasant to me, that my life hath been (under all my infirmities) almost a constant recreation and delight, in its discoveries, contemplation, and practical use: How happy a Teacher have I had? What excellent help, and sweet illumination? How far beyond my expectation hath Divine Mercy encouraged me in his Sacred work? How congruously did he choose every place of my Ministration, and Habitation to this day, without my own forecast or seeking? When and where since he first sent me forth, did I labour in vain?