Richard Baxter's dying thoughts upon Phil. I, 23 written for his own life and…

§ 12. II. I have often thought whether an Implicit belief of a future happiness, without any search into its nature, and thinking of any thing that can be said against it, or the searching, trying way be better. On the one side, I have known many godly women that never disputed the matter, but served God comfortably to a very old Age, (between 80 and 100) to have lived many years in a cheerful readiness and desire of death, and such as few Learned, studious men do never attain to in that degree; who, no doubt, had this as a Divine Reward of their long and faithful service of God, and trusting in him. On the other side, a studious man can hardly keep off all Objections, or secure his mind against the suggestions of difficulties and doubts; and ⟨p. 8⟩if they come in, they must be answered; seeing we give them half a victory, if we cast them off before we can answer them. And a Faith that is not upheld by such evidence of Truth, as Reason can discern and justify, is oft joined with much secret doubting, which men dare not open, but do not therefore overcome: And its weakness may have a weakening deficiency, as to all the graces and duties which should be strengthened by it. And who knoweth how soon a temptation from Satan, or Infidels, or our own dark hearts, may assault us, which will not, without such evidence and resolving Light be overcome? And yet many that try, and reason, and dispute most, have not the strongest, or most powerful Faith.

§ 12. II. I have often thought whether an Implicit belief of a future happiness, without any search into its nature, and thinking of any thing that can be said against it, or the searching, trying way be better. On the one side, I have known many godly women that never disputed the matter, but served God comfortably to a very old Age, (between 80 and 100) to have lived many years in a chearful readiness and desire of death, and such as few Learned, studious men do never attain to in that degree; who, no doubt, had this as a Divine Reward of their long and faithful service of God, and trusting in him. On the other side, a studious man can hardly keep off all Objections, or secure his mind against the suggestions of difficulties and doubts; and ⟨p. 8⟩if they come in, they must be answered; seeing we give them half a victory, if we cast them off before we can answer them. And a Faith that is not upheld by such evidence of Truth, as Reason can discern and justifie, is oft joyned with much secret doubting, which men dare not open, but do not therefore overcome: And its weakness may have a weakening deficiency, as to all the graces and duties which should be strengthened by it. And who knoweth how soon a temptation from Satan, or Infidels, or our own dark hearts, may assault us, which will not, without such evidence and resolving Light be overcome? And yet many that try, and reason, and dispute most, have not the strongest, or most powerful Faith.