Richard Baxter's dying thoughts upon Phil. I, 23 written for his own life and…

§ 12. But it is neither Pain alone, nor Death alone that will sufficiently try our strength and exercise our Faith and Patience. It must be Great Pain (and often Long) in order to a certain or expected Death. These two conjunct were the Case of Christ. The torment of his Agony, Scourging, Crucifying, Piercing and Desertion, and the certainty of Death that followed. Great pain with hopes of recovery and ease, may be born even by a worldly Man: Because there is still the worldly hope of better; and so there is no denial of All, while Life it self is not denied: We must receive ⟨p. 321⟩the Sentence of Death in our selves, if we will find that we trust in God alone, and trust him as one that raiseth the Dead, that is, for another and better life.

As long as a Man hath any hope of life and ease, a Man's Faith is not tried to the uttermost, by actual forsaking all. And yet an easy Death alone, doth not fully try a Man: For they that know that all must die, may submit to this, who cannot bear long pains before it. But great and long pains, and the Sentence of Death together are the trial.

And if God will so try me, why should I repine? Flesh will groan, but the Mind may obediently submit. It is but Flesh: that Flesh that hath tempted and imprisoned my Soul. I have too much loved it, and am too loth to leave it? And is it not Mercy from God to make me weary of it? God is engaged against Idols; that is, all that is loved and pleased before him: and if any thing, that's likest to be this Flesh. It's corruptibility tells us that both its pleasure and its pain will be but short. Long pain is usually tolerable: And intolerable pain will conquer Nature and not be long. The Grace of Christ is sufficient for us, and his strength is manifested in our weakness, when he will not take the Thorn out of our Flesh, though as Christ and Paul did, we pray thrice or oftener.