Monthly preparations for the Holy Communion by R.B

O My God, I look to Thee, I come to Thee, to thee alone: No man, no worldly creature made me; none of them did redeem me; none of them did renew my soul, none of them will justify me at thy Bar, nor forgive my sin, nor save me from the penal Justice: none of them will be a full or a perpetual felicity or portion for my soul. I am not a stranger to their promises and performances: I have trusted them too far, and followed them too long! O that it had been less, (though I must thankfully acknowledge, that Mercy did early show me their deceit, and turn my enquiring thoughts to thee:) to thee I resign my self, for I am thine own! to thee I subject all powers of my Soul and body, ⟨p. 58⟩for thou art my Rightful Sovereign Governor: from thee I thankfully accept of all the benefits and comforts of my life: in thee I expect my true felicity and content: to know thee, and love thee, and delight in thee, must be my blessedness, or I must have none. The little tastes of this sweetness which my thirsty soul hath had, do tell me that there is no other real joy. I feel that thou hast made my mind to know thee, and I feel thou hast made my heart to love thee, my tongue to praise thee, and all that I am and have to serve thee! And even in the panting languishing desires and motions of my soul, I find that thou, and only thou, art its resting place: and though Love do now but search, and pray, and cry, and weep, and in reaching upward, but cannot reach, the glorious light, the blessed knowledge, the perfect love, for which it longeth; yet by its eye, its aim, its motions, its moans, its groans, I know its meaning, where it would be, and I know its end. My displaced soul will never be well, till it come near to thee, till it know thee better, till it love thee ⟨p. 59⟩more. It loves it self, and justifieth that self-love, when it can love thee: it loathes it self, and is weary of it self as a lifeless burden, when it feels no pantings after thee. Wert thou to be found in the most solitary desert, it would seek thee; or in the uttermost parts of the earth, it would make after thee: thy presence makes a crowd, a Church: thy converse maketh a closet, or solitary wood or field, to be kin to the Angelical Chore. The creature were dead, if thou wert not its life; and ugly, if thou wert not its beauty; and insignificant, if thou wert not its sense.

O My God, I look to Thee, I come to Thee, to thee alone: No man, no worldly creature made me; none of them did redeem me; none of them did renew my soul, none of them will justifie me at thy Bar, nor forgive my sin, nor save me from the penal Justice: none of them will be a full or a perpetual felicity or portion for my soul. I am not a stranger to their promises and performances: I have trusted them too far, and followed them too long! O that it had been less, (though I must thankfully acknowledge, that Mercy did early shew me their deceit, and turn my enquiring thoughts to thee:) to thee I resign my self, for I am thine own! to thee I subject all powers of my Soul and body,