Poetical fragments heart-employment with God and it selfPoetical fragments heart-imployment with God and it self

Immortal thanks my Soul doth owe my God, For his well-ordered needful healing Rod: The Book and Rod do well befit thy School; Correction is the portion of the Fool: The Rod it self will make the Sluggard rise: The Rod and Book make foolish Children wise. I felt or feared no evil at the first, But my Soul's misery, which is the worst: Whilst for a Soul-remedy I did look, Thy angry storm my Body overtook: Languishing weakness shortens strength & breath; Consumes my flesh, and threatens speedy death: And what I felt revived the fears of more: For now my Judgment seemed at the door: ⟨p. 34⟩I knew not but it might be a foretaste Of greater woe which I might feel at last: My new awakened Soul amazed was, To think that unto Judgment it must pass, And see the unseen World; and stand before The dreadful God, whom Heaven & Earth adore! I was unready to behold thy face, Having no more assurance of thy Grace! Having but lately too familiar been, With my seducing flesh and hateful sin: My Thoughts of Thee were terrible and strange! And of so great and an untimely change! The threatened Ruin I did thus condole; O must my scarce-born, unprepared Soul Before my dreadful Judge so soon appear! And the decisive final Sentence hear! And all my Reckonings so soon bring in! And give account to God for every sin! Before I do my Soul's condition know, Or any scaled Pardon have to show. What if I prove an unconverted Wretch? And Justice should my Soul to torments fetch? How know I but the endless flames of Hell, May be the place where next my Soul shall dwell? Mercy would save me; but I did reject it: Christ's Blood would cleanse it; but I did neglect it. And though I am not hopeless, who can bear To die uncertain under so great fear I: O that my Tunes had all been better spent! And that my ca••y Thoughts had all been bent ⟨p. 35⟩In preparation for the Life to come: That now I might have gone as to my home! And taken up my dwelling with the blest! And past to everlasting Joy and Rest! O that the pleasures of my sports and toys, Had all been turned to man-like holy Joys! And those Delights which Vanities engrossed, And spent on fleshly Lusts, were worse than lost, Had all been sweet Rejoicings in the Lord! And in his holy Service and his Word! O that I could my wasted Time call back, Which now my Soul for greater works doth lack;