And lastly (O Lord) where I should have rested† fully contented with that portion which thy Majesty thought m••r•st to bestow upon me in this Pilgrimage; and rejoiced in another's good as in mine own: alas my life hath been nothing else but a greedy lusting after this Neighbours house, and that Neighbours land; yea, secretly wishing such a man dead, that I might have his living or office, cov••i•g ⟨p. 334⟩rather those things which thou hast bestowed on another, rather than being thankful for that which thou hast given unto my self. Thus I, O Lord, who am a carnal sinner, and sold under sin, have transgressed all thy holy and spiritual Commandments, from the first to the last, from the greatest unto the least: and hear I stand guilty before thy Judgment-seat, of all the breaches of all thy laws; and therefore liable to thy curse, and to all the miseries that Justice can pour forth upon so cursed a creature. And whether shall I go for deliverance from this misery? Angels blush at my Rebellion, and will not help me: Men are guilty of the like transgression, and cannot help themselves. Shall I then despair with Cain, or make away my self with Judas? No, Lord, for that were but to end the miseries of this life, and to begin the endless torments of hell: I will rather appeal to thy Throne of Grace, 2where mercy reigns to pardon abounding sins; and out of the depth of my miseries, I will cry with* David, for the depth of thy mercies. Though thou shouldest kill me with afflictions, yet will I, like Job,b put my trust in thee. Though thou shouldest drown me in the Sea of thy displeasure, with Jonah, yet will I catch such hold on thy Mercy, that I will be taken up dead, clasping her with both my hands. And though thou shouldest cast me into the bowels of Hell, 5as Jonah into the belly of the Whale: yet from thence would I ⟨p. 335⟩cry unto thee; O God the Father of heaven, O Jesus Christ the Redeemer of the World, O Holy Ghost my Sanctifier, three Persons, and one eternal God, have mercy upon me a miserable sinner. And seeing the goodness of thine own Nature first moved thee to send thine only begotten Son to die for my sins, that by his Death I might be reconciled to thy Majesty: O reject not now my penitent Soul, who being displeased with her self for sin, desireth to return to serve and please thee in newness of life;
And lastly (O Lord) where I should have rested† fully contented with that portion which thy Majesty thought m••r•st to bestow upon me in this Pilgrimage; and rejoyced in anothers good as in mine own: alas my life hath been nothing else but a greedy lusting after this Neighbours house, and that Neighbours land; yea, secretly wishing such a man dead, that I might have his living or office, cov••i•g ⟨p. 334⟩rather those things which thou hast bestowed on another, rather than being thankful for that which thou hast given unto my self. Thus I, O Lord, who am a carnal sinner, and sold under sin, have transgressed all thy holy and spiritual Commandments, from the first to the last, from the greatest unto the least: and hear I stand guilty before thy Judgment-seat, of all the breaches of all thy laws; and therefore liable to thy curse, and to all the miseries that Justice can pour forth upon so cursed a creature. And whether shall I go for deliverance from this misery? Angels blush at my Rebellion, and will not help me: Men are guilty of the like transgression, and cannot help themselves. Shall I then despair with Cain, or make away my self with Judas? No, Lord, for that were but to end the miseries of this life, and to begin the endless torments of hell: I will rather appeal to thy Throne of Grace, 2where mercy reigns to pardon abounding sins; and out of the depth of my miseries, I will cry with* David, for the depth of thy mercies. Though thou shouldest kill me with afflictions, yet will I, like Job,b put my trust in thee. Though thou shouldest drown me in the Sea of thy displeasure, with Jonas, yet will I catch such hold on thy Mercy, that I will be taken up dead, clasping her with both my hands. And though thou shouldest cast me into the bowels of Hell, 5as Jonas into the belly of the Whale: yet from thence would I ⟨p. 335⟩cry unto thee; O God the Father of heaven, O Jesus Christ the Redeemer of the World, O Holy Ghost my Sanctifier, three Persons, and one eternal God, have mercy upon me a miserable sinner. And seeing the goodness of thine own Nature first moved thee to send thine only begotten Son to die for my sins, that by his Death I might be reconciled to thy Majesty: O reject not now my penitent Soul, who being displeased with her self for sin, desireth to return to serve and please thee in newness of life;
- †The tenth […] Heb. 1•. 5. • Tim 6 6. Phil. 4. 11, 12.The tenth 〈…〉 Heb. 1•. 5. • Tim 6 6. Phil. 4. 11, 12.
- 2Heb. 4. ult.
- *Psal. 130. 1.
- bJob 13. 12.
- 5Jonah 2. 2.
