A30143:104
Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners
Grace abounding to the chief of sinners, or, A brief and faithful relation of the exceeding mercy of God in Christ, to his poor servant John Bunyan wherein is particularly showed, the manner of his conversion, his fight and trouble for sin, his dreadful temptations, also how he despaired of Gods mercy, and how the Lord at length through [sic] Christ did deliver him from all the guilt and terror that lay upon him : whereunto is added, a brief relation of his call to the work of the ministry, of his temptations therein, as also what he hath met with in prison : all which was written by his own hand there, and now published for the support of the the weak and tempted people of God.Grace abounding to the chief of sinners, or, A brief and faithful relation of the exceeding mercy of God in Christ, to his poor servant John Bvnyan wherein is particularly shewed, the manner of his conversion, his fight and trouble for sin, his dreadful temptations, also how he despaired of Gods mercy, and how the Lord at length thorow [sic] Christ did deliver him from all the guilt and terrour that lay upon him : whereunto is added, a brief relation of his call to the work of the ministry, of his temptations therein, as also what he hath met with in prison : all which was written by his own hand there, and now published for the support of the the weak and tempted people of God.
London: printed by George Larkin, 1666
Modern spelling is a reading aid: the words are the author’s, only the spelling is modernized. Original shows the page as printed, with the transcription marks.
87. In prayer also, I have been greatly troubled at this time: sometimes I have thought I should see the Devil, nay, thought I have felt him behind me pull my clothes: he would be also continually at me in the time of prayer, to have done, break off, make haste, you have prayed enough, and stay no longer; still drawing my mind away. Sometimes also he would cast in such wicked thoughts as these, that I must pray to him, or for him: I have thought sometimes of that, Fall down, or, If thou wilt fall down and worship me.
87. In prayer also, I have been greatly troubled at this time: sometimes I have thought I should see the Devil, nay, thought I have felt him behind me pull my cloaths: he would be also continually at me in the time of prayer, to have done, break off, make haste, you have prayed enough, and stay no longer; still drawing my minde away. Sometimes •lso he would cast in such wicked thoughts as these, that I must pray to him, or for him: I have thought sometimes of that, Fall down, or, If thou wilt fall down and worship me.
88. Also when because I have had wandering thoughts in the time of this duty, I have laboured to compose my mind, and fix it upon God; then with great force hath the Tempter laboured to distract me and confound me, and to turn away my mind, by presenting to my heart and fancy the form of a Bush, a Bull, a Besom, or the like, as if I should pray to those, to these also he would at sometimes especially so hold my mind, that I was as if I could think of nothing else, or pray to nothing else but to these, or such as they.
89. Yet at times I should have some strong and heart-affecting apprehensions of God, and the reality of the truth of his Gospel: but oh how would my heart at such times put forth it self with unexpressable groanings! my whole Soul was then in every word, I should cry with pangs after God, that he would be merciful to me; but then I should be daunted again with such conceits as these, I should think that God did mock at these my prayers, saying, and that in the audience of the holy Angels, This poor simple Wretch doth hanker after me, as if I had nothing to do with my mercy, but to bestow it on such as he: alas poor fool! how art thou deceived, it is not for such as thee to have favour with the Highest.