Now my Brethren, This is a great evil, for men to strive 1with their consciences. When their consciences puts them upon the ways of God, they think, There is good in 2Gods ways, they think that God is not well pleased in the ways that they are in, they think it might be very well if they did reform their way; yea, but then on the other side, there comes in temptations, I but there are such difficulties in the way, I shall discountenance such and such great ones, I shall have opposition by such and such, in that they will be displeased, I shall hazard my self, and the like, I must deny my self in many things, I must go against the hair in these and these things, I must cross my heart in such things that my heart is strongly bent upon, why may I not do well enough in some other way without so much trouble to my self? And thus their hearts reason within them, and yet again at other times they have serious thoughts begin to work, and their consciences begin to stir again, but have not I to deal with a holy and glorious God? how if things shall prove otherwise than they are apprehended by me? what good will it do to me to cozen my own soul? were it not better for me to return? [Oh! that I could but tell how to speak this day to such as are perhaps yet in suspense, it may be there are some here this day that are in suspense in their own thoughts, they cannot be quiet in that way that now they are in, when they awake in the night season their consciences trouble them, and yet when they come abroad among company then that carries them away again, and thus their lives do as it were hang in suspense, and are vexed and troubled in their own thoughts, not knowing what to do; Oh! that I could (I say) speak to these hearts this day, that I could but tell how to present some determining thoughts to such as these ⟨p. 123⟩that are in this suspense: I'll but in a few words present four or five Meditations to such that may help them to determine, to come to a determination; for the truth is, This is the cause almost of all the wickedness of such as 3live under the means, that have enlightened consciences, They do not come to a full determination: If thou beest in suspense, let me cast into the scale these thoughts.
Now my Brethren, This is a great evil, for men to strive 1with their consciences. When their consciences puts them upon the waies of God, they think, There is good in 2Gods waies, they think that God is not well pleased in the waies that they are in, they think it might be very well if they did reform their way; yea, but then on the other side, there comes in temptations, I but there are such difficulties in the way, I shall discountenance such and such great ones, I shall have opposition by such and such, in that they will be displeased, I shall hazard my self, and the like, I must deny my self in many things, I must go against the hair in these and these things, I must cross my heart in such things that my heart is strongly bent upon, why may I not do well enough in some other way without so much trouble to my self? And thus their hearts reason within them, and yet again at other times they have serious thoughts begin to work, and their consciences begin to stir again, but have not I to deal with a holy and glorious God? how if things shall prove otherwise than they are apprehended by me? what good will it do to me to cozen my own soul? were it not better for me to return? [Oh! that I could but tel how to speak this day to such as are perhaps yet in suspence, it may be there are some here this day that are in suspence in their own thoughts, they cannot be quiet in that way that now they are in, when they awake in the night season their consciences trouble them, and yet when they come abroad among company then that carries them away again, and thus their lives do as it were hang in suspence, and are vext and troubled in their own thoughts, not knowing what to do; Oh! that I could (I say) speak to these hearts this day, that I could but tell how to present some determining thoughts to such as these ⟨p. 123⟩that are in this suspence: I'le but in a few words present four or five Meditations to such that may help them to determine, to come to a determination; for the truth is, This is the cause almost of all the wickedness of such as 3live under the means, that have enlightned consciences, They do not come to a full determination: If thou beest in suspence, let me cast into the scale these thoughts.
- 1Obs.
- 2The conflict of conscience & corruption.
- 3Suspense a caus of much evil.Suspence a caus of much evil.
