But alas, O Lord, I find my heart exceeding dull and dead; a smaller kindness from a fellow-creature would have greatly affected me, and have made deep impressions on my heart; but by sad experience, and to the grieving of my Soul, I find, I am too too stupid and unsensible of this manifest and matchless mercy, which thou hast freely vouchsafed unto me! I believe, that there are many now in the hellish prison, as certainly as if I saw them with mine eyes, where I also might have been; and I see others in this world still Captives to the Devil, fast bound in the cords and chains of lust and sin, that are going to the place of that cursed damned crew of lost souls, eternally separated from the enjoyment of thy blessed Majesty, amongst whom thou hast given me good hope through grace I shall never be; thou showest mercy unto me, while thou pourest out thy wrath and fury upon them. Oh whence is this! and how comes this to pass? why am I poor silly wretch partaker of this love? what didst thou see in me but filth and sin, that might have provoked thee to deal with me as thou hast done with them? surely, Lord, thou hadst mercy on me, because thou wouldst have mercy on me! when I did lye in my blood, and bonds, in my fetters and my chains of sin and ⟨p. 188⟩guilt, thou didst pass by me, but didst not pass me by, but showedst grace and goodness to me! When thy Servant and Apostle Peter was in prison, bound with chains, and the keepers before the door kept the prison, thou didst send thine Angel, who came upon him, and a light shined in the prison, and he said unto him, arise up quickly, and his chains fell off from his hands; but when I was in a worser case, and sorer condition, having fetters on my Soul, and darkness in my understanding, and the Devil the keeper of the prison stood to watch me, to keep me in his strong hold, thou didst send thy Son (for an Angel could not do it) to knock off thy chains wherewith I was held, and thy Spirit came upon me, and a light did shine into my mind, and he said, Arise up quickly, and the chains fell off from my Soul: all this thou didst for me, a Captive and a Prisoner; and it was long before I knew that it was true which was done for me: but while I think and muse hereon, how I was bound, and now am set at liberty; how I was enthralled, and in great distress, and thou hast enlarged me;
But alas, O Lord, I find my heart exceeding dull and dead; a smaller kindness from a fellow-creature would have greatly affected me, and have made deep impressions on my heart; but by sad experience, and to the grieving of my Soul, I find, I am too too stupid and unsensible of this manifest and matchless mercy, which thou hast freely vouchsafed unto me! I believe, that there are many now in the hellish prison, as certainly as if I saw them with mine eyes, where I also might have been; and I see others in this world still Captives to the Devil, fast bound in the cords and chains of lust and sin, that are going to the place of that cursed damned crew of lost souls, eternally separated from the enjoyment of thy blessed Majesty, amongst whom thou hast given me good hope through grace I shall never be; thou shewest mercy unto me, while thou pourest out thy wrath and fury upon them. Oh whence is this! and how comes this to pass? why am I poor silly wretch partaker of this love? what didst thou see in me but filth and sin, that might have provoked thee to deal with me as thou hast done with them? surely, Lord, thou hadst mercy on me, because thou wouldst have mercy on me! when I did lye in my blood, and bonds, in my fetters and my chains of sin and ⟨p. 188⟩guilt, thou didst pass by me, but didst not pass me by, but shewedst grace and goodness to me! When thy Servant and Apostle Peter was in prison, bound with chains, and the keepers before the door kept the prison, thou didst send thine Angel, who came upon him, and a light shined in the prison, and he said unto him, arise up quickly, and his chains fell off from his hands; but when I was in a worser case, and sorer condition, having fetters on my Soul, and darkness in my understanding, and the Devil the keeper of the prison stood to watch me, to keep me in his strong hold, thou didst send thy Son (for an Angel could not do it) to knock off thy chains wherewith I was held, and thy Spirit came upon me, and a light did shine into my mind, and he said, Arise up quickly, and the chains fell off from my Soul: all this thou didst for me, a Captive and a Prisoner; and it was long before I knew that it was true which was done for me: but while I think and muse hereon, how I was bound, and now am set at liberty; how I was inthralled, and in great distress, and thou hast enlarged me;
