The mourner directory, guiding him to the middle way betwixt the two extremes, defect,…The mourner directory, guiding him to the middle way betwixt the two extreams, defect,…

The loss of a good Husband, or Wife, Father, Mother, or Child, is a burden heavy to be ⟨p. 75⟩born; but the loss of the favour of God is greater, and his displeasure presseth more hard upon a Soul sensible of it; and therefore prays, O Lord, if thou rebuke me, let it not be in thine anger; if thou chasten me, let it not be in thy sore displeasure, Psalm 6.1. The loss of a Relation is a Rebuke, it is a chastening, and it may be in anger and displeasure; when it is so, Sorrow for God's displeasure as Christians, as for your own Affliction as Men.

3. When you Sorrow more for the loss of your Temporal Good by the Death of your Relation, than for the Spiritual Advantage you might have gained by the continuance of their Lives; You sorrow too much as Men, but too little as Christians. You may sorrow for the one, as well as for the other; but you should not sorrow so much for the one, as for the other, because the one is better than the other, and the loss of the one a greater loss than the other. By their Death you sustain the loss of some outward Comforts for your Body, and loss of some inward Advantages for your Soul; as now they can instruct and teach you no more, they can pray with you, and for you, no more, they can help you to answer your doubts about your Spiritual State no more, nor give you Arguments against your own Corruptions, or Satan's Temptations any more, nor reprove you for your Sin, nor comfort you under your Afflictions, ⟨p. 76⟩nor exhort you to be making holy Preparations for Death, nor direct you therein any more for ever; nor by their continued Example stir you up to secret Prayer to maintain Communion with God, all these were great Advantages you had by the Life of your holy Relations, and by their Death they cease; For this you do not sorrow, saying, My Godly Father, my Holy Mother made many a Prayer, shed many a Tear for me; they pleaded with God for Grace, and Mercy, and Pardon for me; but Death hath broken off the continuance of their Prayers, and what a loser am I thereby: They did observe and watch my Life and Actions; what was Evil, they reproved me for, what was Good they did encourage and countenance me in; but Death hath closed their Eyes, that they can now see neither Good nor Evil in me, and hath tied their Tongue, that they can speak no more to me concerning the one, nor the other; and who can tell the greatness of my loss for my Immortal Soul, that I am under by their Death? The like might be said concerning a Religious Husband, an holy Zealous Wife. Wherefore if you mourn never so much for your loss by their Death, as to your Bodies and outward Estate, and not so much as to your loss to your Soul, and spiritual Condition, it's more like Men than Christians.