After we prayed to God about three years, my heart was not yet right, but I desired to run wild, as also sundry others did. Then I understood, that the Lord did make heaven, earth, sea, and all creatures, and also ⟨p. 4⟩man, and therefore I understood that God made me. Yet I being young, I was still vain, and ran about; and I liked to do acts of youth and vanity, and lust, as others did. And I went to Pawwaving among others, and these things I loved throughly, and they grew in my heart, and had nourishment there, and especially lust; if I cut my hair, it was with respect to lust, to please women; if I had long hair, it was with respect to lust, and all I did was with respect to lust and women; when there was meetings, drinkings, sports, they respected lust, and these things I perfectly loved. When the Minister came to teach us, he taught, and I came to meeting; but I came to look upon women, I understood not what he taught; sometimes I came, and understood nothing at all, only I looked on women. About two years after, I began to understand what the Minister preached: I understood that Scripture Jam. 1. Hee that doubteth is like a wave of the sea, driven of the winds and tossed; and if any man lack wisdom, let him ask it of God. This I understood, yet I only understood it, but it was very hard to believe. Afterward, I heard out of Gen. 6. that God spoke concerning man, I will destroy man whom I have made, because God saw that the way of man was corrupt before him; and this troubled me. And again, in the same Chapter it is said, That God saw that the iniquity of man was great upon the earth, and that every imagination of the thought of his heart is only evil continually; this troubled me, for I saw the roots of sin in my heart: yet it was hard to believe. Again, in that 6. of Gen. God rebuked that sin in man, which was my sin, and then my heart was troubled. Sometime my heart said, it is better to ⟨p. 5⟩run wild as I did before, then to pray to God; for if now I sin, or commit lust, I shall be punished, or put in prison; but if I run wild, I have liberty to sin without danger: but I was ashamed of such thoughts, and repented; but yet I doubted.
After wee pray'd to God about three years, my heart was not yet right, but I desired to run wilde, as also sundry others did. Then I understood, that the Lord did make heaven, earth, sea, and all creatures, and also ⟨p. 4⟩man, and therefore I understood that God made mee. Yet I being young, I was still vain, and ran about; and I liked to do acts of youth and vanity, and lust, as others did. And I went to Pawwauing among others, and these things I loved throughly, and they grew in my heart, and had nourishment there, and especially lust; if I cut my hair, it was with respect to lust, to please women; if I had long hair, it was with respect to lust, and all I did was with respect to lust and women; when there was meetings, drinkings, sports, they respected lust, and these things I perfectly loved. When the Minister came to teach us, hee taught, and I came to meeting; but I came to look upon women, I understood not what hee taught; sometimes I came, and understood nothing at all, only I look't on women. About two years after, I began to understand what the Minister preached: I understood that Scripture Iam. 1. Hee that doubteth is like a wave of the sea, driven of the windes and tossed; and if any man lack wisedom, let him ask it of God. This I understood, yet I only understood it, but it was very hard to believe. Afterward, I heard out of Gen. 6. that God spoke concerning man, I will destroy man whom I have made, because God saw that the way of man was corrupt before him; and this troubled mee. And again, in the same Chapter it is said, That God saw that the iniquity of man was great upon the earth, and that every imagination of the thought of his heart is only evil continually; this troubled mee, for I saw the roots of sin in my heart: yet it was hard to believe. Again, in that 6. of Gen. God rebuked that sin in man, which was my sin, and then my heart was troubled. Sometime my heart said, it is better to ⟨p. 5⟩run wilde as I did before, then to pray to God; for if now I sin, or commit lust, I shall be punished, or put in prison; but if I run wilde, I have liberty to sin without danger: but I was ashamed of such thoughts, and repented; but yet I doubted.
