First, It is a very difficult thing to find out the truth of our receiving of Christ, or of our faith, that it is right ⟨p. 242⟩and saving, especially when the Soul is but newly under the work of conversion. I know God can discover it at first if he please, as, no doubt, he did to the Jailer, and the Primitive Converts, in the dawning of the Gospel, and lying open to persecutions; but it is not now so common. An Hypocrite in his green estate is hardly discerned by others, or by himself. If you ask me how long that green estate may last? Truly I can set you no time, but some longer, some shorter: yet with some it hath lasted so long, that I scarce know what to say or write, I am so amazed at the Apostasy of some, that I have heard of, not very many miles from us, after many years (thirty years) green and flourishing profession, with a conversation so exact, so close, that other precious Christians have wished, O that my condition were but as this mans; yet in old age to decline to sensuality, loose their savour, go out like a stinking snuff, Trees twice dead, Jude ver. 12. These Apostates would do us a kindness, if they would but faithfully unfold unto us their secret ways of hypocrisy, how they began to Apostatize, that we might learn and tremble; indeed we do tremble, because we see their falls; did these but return again home to God, they would then tell us all; but here is the misery, the Apostasy is final, they fall back with a perpetual backsliding, both from God and his people, return no more, and hence we loose this benefit. Time it will cost, I say not how much, and strict observation of the ways of a mans heart; he must not be a stranger at home, that will get an answer to this question: we say of a man, I will winter him and summer him, eat a bushel of salt with him, before I will trust him for a bosom friend: there are those who have spent many Summers and Winters with their own hearts, and it hath cost them some salt tears, but can hardly tell whether they may trust their hearts at last: we say of some men, they are such subtle deceivers, that they will cheat a man though he stand and looks on them: And what more deceitful than a mans heart, though a man looks on it 'twill deceive him, unless he be very circumspect, but without ⟨p. 243⟩diligent observation it will be impossible to find it out whether it be sound or not in its closing with Christ.
First, It is a very dissicult thing to find out the truth of our receiving of Christ, or of our faith, that it is right ⟨p. 242⟩and saving, especially when the Soul is but newly under the work of conversion. I know God can discover it at first if he please, as, no doubt, he did to the Jaylour, and the Primitive Converts, in the dawning of the Gospel, and lying open to persecutions; but it is not now so common. An Hypocrite in his green estate is hardly discerned by others, or by himself. If you ask me how long that green estate may last? Truly I can set you no time, but some longer, some shorter: yet with some it hath lasted so long, that I scarce know what to say or write, I am so amazed at the Apostacy of some, that I have heard of, not very many miles from us, after many years (thirty years) green and flourishing profession, with a conversation so exact, so close, that other precious Christians have wished, O that my condition were but as this mans; yet in old age to decline to sensuality, loose their savour, go out like a stinking snuffe, Trees twice dead, Jude ver. 12. These Apostates would do us a kindness, if they would but faithfully unfold unto us their secret wayes of hypocrifie, how they began to Apostatize, that we might learn and tremble; indeed we do tremble, because we see their falls; did these but return again home to God, they would then tell us all; but here is the misery, the Apostacy is final, they fall back with a perpetual backsliding, both from God and his people, return no more, and hence we loose this benefit. Time it will cost, I say not how much, and strict observation of the wayes of a mans heart; he must not be a stranger at home, that will get an answer to this question: we say of a man, I will winter him and summer him, eat a bushel of salt with him, before I will trust him for a bosom friend: there are those who have spent many Summers and Winters with their own hearts, and it hath cost them some salt tears, but can hardly tell whether they may trust their hearts at last: we say of some men, they are such subtle deceivers, that they will cheat a man though he stand and looks on them: And what more deceitful than a mans heart, though a man looks on it 'twill deceive him, unless he be very circumspect, but without ⟨p. 243⟩diligent observation it will be impossible to find it out whether it be sound or not in its closing with Christ.
