The application of redemption

True indeed then Meditation hath attained its proper and powerful work, and is effectually blessed of God when our hearts are so affected, with the evil of our sins, as in our judgments rightly informed, we did conceive them, and in our most serious […] concluded them, and indeed we should shine to our utmost to attain this, and never give the Lord rest, nor our own souls any rest, until our hearts feel the bitterness of sin, as by meditation we have found it made known in the word. This is beyond our power and reach, only its good to run after it, and though we cannot go as far as we should, yet thus far we may go.

True indeed then Meditation hath attained its proper and powerful work, and is effectually blessed of God when our hearts are so affected, with the evil of our sins, as in our judgments rightly informed, we did conceive them, and in our most serious 〈…〉 concluded them, and indeed we should shine to our utmost to attain this, and never give the Lord rest, nor our own souls any rest, until our hearts feel the bitterness of sin, as by meditation we have found it made known in the word. This is beyond our power and reach, only its good to run after it, and though we cannot go as far as we should, yet thus far we may go.

We may put the heart to silence for the while, stop §3and stifle such gainsayings for a time and turn, and get the last word of the will, as it were, notwithstanding ⟨p. 269⟩the waywardness thereof. This hath its marvellous use, and leaves a great restraint upon the soul that it dare not vent it self in ungodly practices but with a kind of awe and fear. It deals with our souls as the Angel with Sarah, when she laughed in herself as conceiving it impossible she should have a son in her old age, though the Angel had said it, Gen 18. 12. the Lord asked why did Sarah laugh, and she denied it because she was afraid and said, I did not laugh; but the Lord followed her and held her to it, and would not let her go away so, nay but thou didst laugh. So when the heart would fly off from the evil that is evidenced, and charged, either, excusing or lessening the heinousness of the evil, or slighting the danger of it. either it was not my fault or its not so great, or the punishment is not so grievous and fearful as men would bear us in hand. Hold the heart to it, and do not suffer it to go away. Yes it was you that did it, you must own it, you shall find it upon your score one day. you know and God knows and I know it, the time when they were committed the manner how, and how aggravated with many heightening circumstances: It is so, know it; and thy damnation sleepeth not, do not slight it, you will never be able to endure it. Yes but I can: God will abate it, or I can bear it, nay you cannot; God cannot abate it if you live in your sins, and you cannot bear it. Take the leave of your heart thus when you go to bed; this is your condition, this will be your misery. The sum of this first Rule returns to these three particulars.