The time was (O that with an abased heart I may ever think of that time) I never looked after the spiritual good of my soul, whether I had a soul or no, ⟨p. 100⟩what would become of me and it, was the least of my care, the farthest end of my thoughts, nay, loth I was to hear of, or know these things when they were […], unwilling to receive them, or give way to them when they were offered; how did I stop mine Ears, shut mine Eyes, harden my heart? what ways, means, and devices did I use and invent to shut […] the light of the truth, and to stop the passage and power of the Word, that it might not convince me, that it might not reform me, might not recall me […] my […] how often have I secretly wished that either the Word were taken out of the place, or […] from […], that it might not trouble me in my sinful distempers, and when […] had least good I had most ease, and took greatest content; Oh that such a vile wretch should thus live, and yet live! to be thus sinful! Oh that I might for ever be abased for it. As in sores, when the proud […] increaseth, there is no way but a Corrosive to eat […] down: This consideration of our own […], may be like this Corrosive to eat down the pride of our hearts. Thus Paul frequently in the remembrance of his former wretchedness, bleeds kindly and […] in the abasement of his spirit, he mentions not his Apostleship which might exalt him, but presently he remembers his […] which might abase him, 1 Tim. 1. 12. I thank Christ Jesus our Lord who hath enabled me for that he counted me faithful, and put me to the Ministry, who was before a […], […] and injurious, vers. 13. Hence again he observes it was Gods way that he might not be exalted 1above measure, to buffet him with the sense and assaults of his own weaknesses, 2 Cor. 12. 7. and thus far he did glory in, and take pleasure in his […], not to have them, but to use the consideration of them as a wholesome Corrosive to pull down those proud swellings: As a man sometimes takes pleasure ⟨p. 101⟩[…] the powder of Scorpions, or Mercury Water, because […] a Medicine against some poysonful humours; and […] he directs, Eph. 2. 11, 12. Remember that you were dead in sins and trespasses, Gentiles in the flesh, without God, without Christ, without hope:
The time was (O that with an abased heart I may ever think of that time) I never looked after the spiritual good of my soul, whether I had a soul or no, ⟨p. 100⟩what would become of me and it, was the least of my care, the farthest end of my thoughts, nay, loth I was to hear of, or know these things when they were 〈…〉, unwilling to receive them, or give way to them when they were offered; how did I stop mine Ears, shut mine Eyes, harden my heart? what waies, means, and devices did I use and invent to shut 〈…〉 the light of the truth, and to stop the passage and power of the Word, that it might not convince me, that it might not reform me, might not recal me 〈…〉 my 〈…〉 how often have I secretly wished that either the Word were taken out of the place, or 〈…〉 from 〈…〉, that it might not trouble me in my sinful distempers, and when 〈…〉 had least good I had most ease, and took greatest content; Oh that such a vile wretch should thus live, and yet live! to be thus sinful! Oh that I might for ever be abased for it. As in sores, when the proud 〈…〉 encreaseth, there is no way but a Corrosive to eat 〈…〉 down: This consideration of our own 〈…〉, may be like this Corrosive to eat down the pride of our hearts. Thus Paul frequently in the remembrance of his former wretchedness, bleeds kindly and 〈…〉 in the abasement of his spirit, he mentions not his Apostleship which might exalt him, but presently he remembers his 〈…〉 which might abase him, 1 Tim. 1. 12. I thank Christ Jesus our Lord who hath enabled me for that he counted me faithful, and put me to the Ministry, who was before a 〈…〉, 〈…〉 and injurious, vers. 13. Hence again he observes it was Gods way that he might not be exalted 1above measure, to buffet him with the sence and assaults of his own weaknesses, 2 Cor. 12. 7
- 1Eph. 3. 8.
