Death unstung a sermon preached at the funeral of Thomas Mowsley, an apothecary, who…

and in less than a weeks time, I think about the end of two or three days, the more I read, I began to have more deep thoughts, and heart amazing considerations, which began to make me exceedingly troubled, and much cast down, about the state and condition of my poor captive soul, which as I told you before, was almost sunk into the bottom of the bottomless Sea of Gods wrath, from which there is no redemption, with the weight of its insupportable sins; And now what the chief actings of my soul were I cannot tell; but sure I am that my trouble did increase yet more and more, and I hope it was for my sins; for I do well ⟨p. 129⟩remember, that within very few days, or rather hours after, the sense of my sins came into my mind, and the sight of them was so clear, and the number of them so numberless, and their aggravations so weighty, and the nature of them so detestable, that what I then felt I cannot now possibly declare. Oh where was I? certainly had I been surprised with the greatest enemies in the world, and my life in the greatest danger, I could not have been more troubled, and had I been afflicted with all the tortures that man could have devised, I should not have been more tormented; nay, I think if my deceitful heart did not deceive me, that had I been in hell amongst those infernal fiends, and had heard the yellings and howlings of those damned wretches, I think I could not have been much more affrighted, for then I did look upon my soul to be within a hairs breadth of Eternal misery, and oh the condition I saw my self then in, is unutterable, had there not been an everlasting arm of power and mercy underneath, I should undoubtedly have followed the steps of Cain or Judas; but O Blessed and admired be Free Grace: and why Me, Lord, why Me? Oh Love, Love, Love, even Love unspeakable, yea Love ⟨p. 130⟩unutterable; and further, in this my trouble the Lord was so far pleased to pity and show mercy to my poor soul, that my soul had not very long laboured under this insupportable burden of her great and mighty sins, but I perceived a door of hope as it were unlatched and somewhat open, and that if I would but in good earnest turn to God, that yet it was not too late, and that there was hope in Israel concerning this thing, which consideration did not a little comfort my poor soul;

and in less than a weeks time, I think about the end of two or three daies, the more I read, I began to have more deep thoughts, and heart amazing considerations, which began to make me exceedingly troubled, and much cast down, about the state and condition of my poor captive soul, which as I told you before, was almost sunk into the bottom of the bottomless Sea of Gods wrath, from which there is no redemption, with the weight of its insupportable sins; And now what the chief actings of my soul were I cannot tell; but sure I am that my trouble did increase yet more and more, and I hope it was for my sins; for I do well