By this reflection you may easily perceive that I see further in duty than I do in practice. The truth of it is, I grudge that thoughts and affections should run out any whither freely, but to God. And what I now desire for my self, I desire for you likewise, that God would sweeten the fountain, our natures I mean, that every drop flowing from thence may savour of something of God within. Thoughts are precious, affections are more precious, the best that we are worth; and, when they flow in a wrong channel, all Go•s precious dispensations towards us are lost; all that God hath spent upon us, is lost, and spent in vanity. I speak this, out of a dear respect to your soul, and Gods honour▪ ⟨p. 62⟩whom, I am loth, should be a loser by his kindnesses. I know, you have many objects, upon which you may be too apt to let out your dear affections. I say again my jealousy, is lest (there being so many channels, wherein they may run) God lose his due. I desire therefore, in humility and tenderness, that this may be as a hint to you from the spirit of God, to look inwards to the frame and disposition of your soul, and to make trial thereof, by the natural out-goings of your affections; and then, expostulate the case with your own soul. If Christ have my warmest love, why is it thus with me? If God have my heart, why am I so thoughtful about the world? If I indeed love him best, How cometh it to pass, that I find more strong delightful constant acting of my affections towards my Relations, my self, or any worldly thing than, I do after him? O, the depth of the hearts deceitfulness!
Dear and Honoured Friend, trust not a surmisal, trust not to a slight view of your heart, or the first apprehensions you may have of your self; but, go down into the secrets of your heart, try and fear, fear and try. An Evidence is abundantly more worth than all the trouble that you can be at, in the acquiring of it: And the trouble, that there is good ground for, in an unevidenced state; is far greater than that which may seem to be in searching for it. Yea, to an awakened ⟨p. 63⟩soul, what is the trouble in clearing its evidences, but their sense or fear of their not being clear, and of the deceitfulness of their hearts. The reality of that evil, which tender souls so dread, doth lie in its full weight, (though not felt), upon the drowsy ungroundedly secure sinner.
I speak in love;
By this reflection you may easily perceive that I see further in duty than I do in practice. The truth of it is, I grudge that thoughts and affections should run out any whither freely, but to God. And what I now desire for my self, I desire for you likewise, that God would sweeten the fountain, our natures I mean, that every drop flowing from thence may savour of something of God within. Thoughts are pretious, affections are more pretious, the best that we are worth; and, when they flow in a wrong chanel, all Go•s pretious dispensations towards us are lost; all that God hath spent upon us, is lost, and spent in vanity. I speak this, out of a dear respect to your soul, and Gods honour▪ ⟨p. 62⟩whom, I am loth, should be a loser by his kindnesses. I know, you have many objects, upon which you may be too apt to let out your dear affections. I say again my jealousie, is lest (there being so many chanels, wherein they may run) God lose his due. I desire therefore, in humility and tenderness, that this may be as a hint to you from the spirit of God, to look inwards to the frame and disposition of your soul, and to make trial thereof, by the natural out-goings of your affections; and then, expostulate the case with your own soul. If Christ have my warmest love, why is it thus with me? If God have my heart, why am I so thoughtful about the world? If I indeed love him best, How cometh it to pass, that I find more strong delightful constant acting of my affections towards my Relations, my self, or any worldly thing than, I do after him? O, the depth of the hearts deceitfulness!
Dear and Honoured Friend, trust not a surmisal, trust not to a slight view of your heart, or the first apprehensions you may have of your self; but, go down into the secrets of your heart, try and fear, fear and try. An Evidence is abundantly more worth than all the trouble that you can be at, in the acquiring of it: And the trouble, that there is good ground for, in an unevidenced state; is far greater than that which may seem to be in searching for it. Yea, to an awakened ⟨p. 63⟩soul, what is the trouble in clearing its evidences, but their sense or fear of their not being clear, and of the deceitfulness of their hearts. The reality of that evil, which tender soules so dread, doth lie in its full weight, (though not felt), upon the drousie ungroundedly secure sinner.
I speak in love;
