nay, answered his Visitors, the Mercy of God is above all sin, God would have all men to be saved; it is true, (said he) God would have all the Elect to be saved; he would not have damned Reprobates to be saved: I am one of that Number; I know it, for I willingly denied Christ, and I feel that he hardens me, and will not suffer me to hope. Being asked whether he did believe that Doctrine to be true for which he was accused before the Legate, he answered, I did believe it when I denied it, but now I neither can believe that nor the Doctrine of the Roman Church; I believe nothing, I have no Faith, no Trust, no Hope, I am a Reprobate, like Cain or Judas, who casting away all hope of mercy, fell under despair; and my Friends do me wrong, that they suffer me not to go to the place of Unbelievers, as I justly deserve.
The mercy of God (said he) is exceeding large, and extends to all the Elect, but not to me, or any like me, who are sealed to Wrath: I tell you I deserve it, my own Conscience condemns me, what needeth any other Judge; if Peter grieved, and repented, it was because Christ beheld him with a merciful Eye, and in that he was pardoned; it was not because he wept, but because God was gracious to him; but God respects not me, and therefore I am a Reprobate; I feel no Comfort can enter into my Heart, there's place only for Torments and Vexings of Spirit: I tell you, my Case is properly mine own, no Man was ever in the like plight, and therefore my Estate is fearful.
And then roaring out in bitterness of Spirit, he said, It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
Some said with a whispering Voice that he was possessed; he over-hearing it, said, Do ye doubt it? I have a whole Legion of Devils that take up their dwelling in me, and possess me as their own; and justly too; for I have denied Christ, Christ will not be denied, no not in a word, and therefore it is enough; in Heart I never denied him.
He said, when asked, that he knew there were worse, far worse pains than those that he then suffered; for the wicked shall rise to their Judgment, but they shall not stand in Judgment; this I tremble to think of, yet I desire nothing more than that I might come to that place, where I may be sure to feel the worst, and to be freed from fear of worse to come.
nay, answered his Visitors, the Mercy of God is above all sin, God would have all men to be saved; it is true, (said he) God would have all the Elect to be saved; he would not have damn'd Reprobates to be saved: I am one of that Number; I know it, for I willingly denyed Christ, and I feel that he hardens me, and will not suffer me to hope. Being asked whether he did believe that Doctrine to be true for which he was accused before the Legate, he aswered, I did believe it when I denyed it, but now I neither can believe that nor the Doctrine of the Roman Church; I believe nothing, I have no Faith, no Trust, no Hope, I am a Reprobate, like Cain or Judas, who casting away all hope of mercy, fell under despair; and my Friends do me wrong, that they suffer me not to go to the place of Unbelievers, as I justly deserve.
The mercy of God (said he) is exceeding large, and extends to all the Elect, but not to me, or any like me, who are sealed to Wrath: I tell you I deserve it, my own Conscience condemns me, what needeth any other Judge; if Peter grieved, and repented, it was because Christ beheld him with a merciful Eye, and in that he was pardoned; it was not because he wept, but because God was gracious to him; but God respects not me, and therefore I am a Reprobate; I feel no Comfort can enter into my Heart, there's place only for Torments and Vexings of Spirit: I tell you, my Case is properly mine own, no Man was ever in the like plight, and therefore my Estate is fearful.
And then roaring out in bitterness of Spirit, he said, It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
Some said with a whispering Voice that he was possessed; he over-hearing it, said, Do ye doubt it? I have a whole Legion of Devils that take up their dwelling in me, and possess me as their own; and justly too; for I have denyed Christ, Christ will not be denyed, no not in a word, and therefore it is enough; in Heart I never denied him.
He said, when asked, that he knew there were worse, far worse pains than those that he then suffered; for the wicked shall rise to their Judgment, but they shall not stand in Judgment; this I tremble to think of, yet I desire nothing more than that I might come to that place, where I may be sure to feel the worst, and to be freed from fear of worse to come.
