Advice to mourners under the loss of dear relations in a funeral sermon long…

Name: Advice to mourners under the loss of dear relations in a funeral sermon long…
Author: Thomas Manton

Advice to mourners under the loss of dear relations in a funeral sermon long since preached / by the late Reverend Dr. Thomas Manton ... And now occasionally published on the much lamented death of Mrs. Ann Terry, who died the 9th of November, 1693. With a short account of some passages of her life, and papers left under her own hand.Advice to mourners under the loss of dear relations in a funeral sermon long since preach'd / by the late Reverand Dr. Thomas Manton ... And now occasionally published on the much lamented death of Mrs. Ann Terry, who died the 9th of November, 1693. With a short account of some passages of her life, and papers left under her own hand.

:95p. 20–21¶1

1. Because otherwise our Carriage would be very dishonourable and derogatory to Jesus Christ, as if he were not better to us than all the Comforts that we lose; 1 Sam. 1. 8. as Elkana said to Hannah, Why weepest thou? am not I better to thee than ten Sons? So why weepest thou? Is not Christ better to thee than ten Wives, ten Children, ten Parents, a thousand times as much as thou hast lost? If we had but Faith to see it, Christ is to a Believer whatever he wanteth. The People of God in the Wilderness wanted Houses; Psal. 90. 1. Lord, thou ⟨p. 21⟩art our Habitation. A Christian hath never more Comfort than when he seeth that particular thing made up in Christ, which was taken from him by the Providence of God. If a Believer has lost her Husband, she seeth Christ her Husband. So for any other Relation; if a Parent, seeth Christ his Parent; if a Brother, Christ's a Brother. We are to Christ instead of all these Relations, and therefore why should not Christ be so to us? See Matth. 12. 50. Whosoever doth the Will of my Father, the same is my Brother, and Sister, and Mother. Mark, we are so to him, and therefore why should we not account Christ to be so to us? Certainly it is a great Dishonour and Disparagement to him, if we do not see all our Losses abundantly made up in him.

:96p. 21–23¶2

2. It would be a Dishonour to our Profession. It is a Credit to Christianity, that the Professors of it can be joyful in all Conditions; Heb. 10. 34. Ye took joyfully the spoiling of your Goods, [Greek or Hebrew]; though all they had were snatched from them by rude Hands, yet they were joyful. Let guilty Cains look with fallen Countenances, Gen. 4. 6. Let the Pharisees please themselves in their sour Looks, Mat. 6. 16. A Christian's Countenance should show him to be above his Misery, sprightly and cheerful; though ⟨p. 22⟩you take away their Coat, as Joseph's Mistress did, you cannot take away their Comfort; they are glad they can escape with their Conscience, though they should leave their Coat behind them. I remember Scaliger playeth the Critic with Homer, because Champion Achilles is brought in weeping, his beloved Briseis was taken from him. So it is a Disgrace to our high Profession when a Christian is brought in [Greek or Hebrew], weeping, it is beneath you. It is said in Acts 5. 41. They departed from the Presence of the Council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer for Christ. Philpot's Stocks in the Bishop of London's Coal-house was but a pair of Organs, as he saith. Nor is it true only in these honourable Sufferings for the Glory of our Religion, but in the Strokes of Providence in this very Business of deceased Friends. The Apostle makes it the Property of Pagans to mourn excessively, 1 Thess. 4. 13. Sorrow not as those that have no Hope, i. e. as Pagans; they did abound in it: as see Gen. 50. 3. compared with v. 10. Joseph mourned for Jacob but seven Days, the Egyptians seventy, even ten times as much. Nay, Pagans err so much this way, that if they could not find Grief, they would force Grief; and therefore at their Funerals, if they had no Sympathy, they would slash their Faces, and cut their ⟨p. 23⟩Flesh, that they might be sorrowful. And therefore God saith, Deut. 14. 1. Ye shall not cut your selves, and make Baldness in your Eyes for the Dead; ye are the Children of the Lord your God; that is, you have higher Principles, you know such Sorrow needless. And hence was it that the Primitive Christians were wont to sing triumphant Psalms at Funerals, as it appeareth out of many Places of Chrysostom, to show they had higher Hopes of their departed Friends.

2. It would be a Dishonour to our Profession. It is a Credit to Christianity, that the Professors of it can be joyful in all Conditions; Heb. 10. 34. Ye took joyfully the spoiling of your Goods, 〈non-Latin alphabet〉; though all they had were snatch'd from them by rude Hands, yet they were joyful. Let guilty Cains look with fallen Countenances, Gen. 4. 6. Let the Pharisees please themselves in their sowr Looks, Mat. 6. 16. A Christian's Countenance should shew him to be above his Misery, sprightly and chearful; though ⟨p. 22⟩you take away their Coat, as Ioseph's Mistress did, you cannot take away their Comfort; they are glad they can escape with their Conscience, though they should leave their Coat behind them. I remember Scaliger playeth the Critick with Homer, because Champion Achilles is brought in weeping, his beloved Briseis was taken from him. So it is a Disgrace to our high Profession when a Christan is brought in 〈non-Latin alphabet〉, weeping, it is beneath you. It is said in Acts 5. 41. They departed from the Presence of the Council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer for Christ. Philpot's Stocks in the Bishop of London's Coal-house was but a pair of Organs, as he saith. Nor is it true only in these honourable Sufferings for the Glory of our Religion, but in the Strokes of Providence in this very Business of deceased Friends. The Apostle makes it the Property of Pagans to mourn excessively, 1 Thess. 4. 13. Sorrow not as those that have no Hope, i. e. as Pagans; they did abound in it: as see Gen. 50. 3. compared with v. 10. Ioseph mourned for Iacob but seven Days, the Egyptians seventy, even ten times as much. Nay, Pagans err so much this way, that if they could not find Grief, they would force Grief; and therefore at their Funerals, if they had no Sympathy, they would slash their Faces, and cut their ⟨p. 23⟩Flesh, that they might be sorrowful. And therefore God saith,

:97p. 23–24¶3

3. It is very prejudicial. You have no Benefit, but a great deal of Hurt by it; 2 Cor. 7. 10. there it is summed up in one word, Worldly Sorrow worketh Death; that is, chiefly; Sorrow for worldly things, that works Death temporal and eternal in its Desert; temporal Death, as it exhausteth the Spirits, wasteth the Marrow. Worldly Sorrow leaveth a very strong Impression upon the Body, as Solomon saith, Prov. 17. 22. A broken Spirit drieth the Bones; it dulleth and deadens the Heart. If a Man would not save his Tears, yet he should reserve them, keep them up for holy Uses: God may give you many spiritual Occasions to empty your Bottle, do not be over-free of them. Affections over-exercised are usually restrained against the next Occasion. And as they procure Death in respect of ⟨p. 24⟩the Vigour of the Body and Soul; so an eternal Death too, it deserveth it. And so the Apostle is to be understood; for he opposeth it to Godly Sorrow, which hereafter you shall see you have no cause to repent of, as you have of Worldly. Grief is a most serious Passion: and though a Man may forget himself in his Joy, he should not forget to think of the Danger; Worldly Sorrow worketh Death.

:98p. 24–25¶4

4. It is very unreasonable. If Men would cite their Affections before the Tribunal of Reason, and ask them what's the matter why they are so violently stirred? they might discern much of their Folly; Psal. 42. 5. David calleth himself to an account, Why art thou so disquieted, O my Soul? why art thou cast down within me? Ask why it is, and you will see either no reason, or a corrupt one. Iniqua lex est quae se examinari non patitur, saith Tertullian. And so it is an evil Heart that will not be called to an account. Suspect those Passions that are loth to be examined. Do but ask your selves, why do I grieve now? you shall see the Answer will be foolish, unreasonable, unthankful, or savouring of Discontent. Why, it may be you will say, Many dear Comforts are taken from me. O Brethren, that is an ill Expression, no outward Comfort can be taken from a Christian. ⟨p. 25⟩We should live in such a continual waiting for God's Pleasure, and in such a quiet Submission thereunto, as not to look upon our Comforts as taken from us: Job indeed useth the word, Job 1. 23. The Lord hath given, the Lord hath taken: but he useth it so as if he would be understood, as if the Lord had accepted of the Resignation; for he blesses God for it: Even our highest Comfort, our Lives, the Lives of the Saints are not taken from them; God doth but as it were accept of the Resignation: As Stephen, Acts 7. 59. Lord Jesus receive my Spirit. So Rev. 22. 20. Even so, come, Lord Jesus, come quickly. It is said of the Wicked indeed, that their Lives are snatched, or taken away; as Job 27. 8. What Hope hath the Hypocrite, when God taketh away his Soul, or snatcheth it away? So

:99p. 25–26

Is it to do them good? They are not the better for our Tears, they are past Recovery by our Weeping. Is it not to envy their Blessedness, to wish them alive again? ⟨p. 26⟩2 Sam. 12. 23. Wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, he shall not come to me. Is it because they were so good that we mourn? The better for God, they are gone to their own home. Is it because so bad? 2 Sam. 13. 39. David was comforted concerning Anmon, because dead, though he died in Sin: Or is it because they died so soon, which heightens your Loss? Consider who decreed it; are you wiser than God? Is it for your own Good you weep? that is an holy Weeping: Weep as if you wept not. Thus if Men would expostulate with themselves, they would see the Unreasonableness of their Sorrow; it is to no purpose. We express things to no purpose by Water spilt on the Ground: certainly Tears in such Cases are but spilt Water.

:100p. 26

Use 1. To instruct you to take home this Lesson; so to sorrow under the Sense of your Afflictions, as if you did not sorrow, be it the Loss what it will; though I shall chiefly speak to the present Occasion. Do not let the Grief oppress your Heart. Ay, but how shall we do so? I shall give you some Motives: As,

:101p. 26–28

1st. Be sure to get an Interest in spiritual Mercies. The Doctrine saith, Christians ought so to sorrow, as if they sorrowed not. ⟨p. 27⟩We cannot speak to others in this Language, unless we should persuade Men to slight the Hand of God. We throw Bones to Dogs, but Bread to Children. We cannot comfort you in a carnal way; Psal. 94. 19. In the Multitude of my Thoughts within me thy Comforts refresh my Soul. Mark, thy Comforts. To comfort a Man's self upon carnal Grounds, argueth an Insensibleness of God's Hand, and it is a shrewd Sign that God gives us over to our selves. Therefore if you take Comfort, take it from your Interest in spiritual Mercies. If you cannot look upon them under a Condition of Propriety as yours, (as every Christian cannot) yet at least so far look upon them, that from thence all your Comfort must be fetched. It is a Neglect of Providence to go away with a general Thought. We must not sorrow too much, and yet we are to consider whether we have good Ground why we should be comforted. God giveth wicked Men these Experiences of Sorrow, that he may awaken them, and show them there is no Comfort to be had thence whence they would fetch their Comforts in carnal Delights; Isa. 57. 21. There is no Peace, saith my God, to the Wicked. There is a Peace in their Fancies and Conceits, but no Peace, saith my God. There is a great deal of hurt done this way by ⟨p. 28⟩Sermons, Ministers instruct Men in a Moral way, that they should not grieve too much; but they do not instruct a Man upon what Grounds he should not grieve: You must be sure of better Mercies, or at least look after them for your Comfort. A Man that has an Interest in Christ, is [Greek or Hebrew], a four-squared Man, unmoved in all Conditions. There can be no Peace between a Man's Affections and Condition, till there be a Peace between him and God. Mark that, Eccles. 9. 7. Go thy way, eat thy Bread with Joy, and drink thy Wine with a merry Heart; for God now accepteth thy Works. When God accepteth us, we may then eat our Bread with a merry Heart, let things fall out how they will.

1st. Be sure to get an Interest in spiritual Mercies. The Doctrine saith, Christians ought so to sorrow, as if they sorrowed not.

:102p. 28

2dly. Live in a continual Expectation of the Creatures Change. Things are not half so burdensome when we look for them. A Burden cast upon a Man's Back breaketh it; but when it is compacted and fitted for his Shoulders, he goeth away well enough with it. It was some Solace that Job could say, Job 3. 25. The Evil that I feared is come upon me. Suppose it be your own, or your Friends Dissolution, live in a continual Readiness to part with Life, or any thing else at God's Call and Intimation, and it will not be so grievous to you when it comes.

2dly. Live in a continual Expectation of the Creatures Change. Things are not half so burdensom when we look for them. A Burden cast upon a Man's Back breaketh it; but when it is compacted and fitted for his Shoulders, he goeth away well enough with it. It was some Solace that Iob could say, Iob 3. 25. The Evil that I feared is come upon me. Suppose it be your own, or your Friends Dissolution, live in a continual Readiness to part with Life, or any thing else at God's Call and Intimation, and it will not be so grievous to you when it comes.

:103p. 29

3dly. Learn an holy Greatness of Mind, to be able to live above the Creature. Consider, the Happiness of Man is in God alone: All Happiness consisteth in Conformity to, and Communion with God the chief Good; so that though the Creature be gone, your Happiness is not gone. That troubleth a Man most, when his Happiness is gone, he will not care so much for other things. It is good to see by what Enjoyment they reckon themselves happy; if to have Husband, Wife, or a House well furnished, every thing to our Command; then when God taketh away these things, your Comfort is gone. There is much of Peoples Conceits this way: But consider, what do you reckon the best of your Enjoyments? that you have God for your Portion; Psal. 144. 15. Happy is the People whose God is the Lord. So see Psal. 30. 7. Thou didst hide thy Face, and I was troubled. Set but the Heart right in this Point, and it will be well. Grace is but the Change of a Man's chiefest Good and utmost End; that is only the Difference between a natural Man and a spiritual Man, about the Conceits of Happiness.

3dly. Learn an holy Greatness of Mind, to be able to live above the Creature. Consider, the Happiness of Man is in God alone: All Happiness consisteth in Conformity to, and Communion with God the chief Good; so that though the Creature be gone, your Happiness is not gone. That troubleth a Man most, when his Happiness is gone, he will not care so much for other things. It is good to see by what Injoyment they reckon themselves happy; if to have Husband, Wife, or a House well furnished, every thing to our Command; then when God taketh away these things, your Comfort is gone. There is much of Peoples Conceits this way: But consider, what do you reckon the best of your Injoyments? that you have God for your Portion; Psal. 144. 15. Happy is the People whose God is the Lord. So see Psal. 30. 7. Thou didst hide thy Face, and I was troubled. Set but the Heart right in this Point, and it will be well. Grace is but the Change of a Man's chiefest Good and utmost End; that is only the Difference between a natural Man and a spiritual Man, about the Conceits of Happiness.

:104p. 29–30

There are other Considerations, as the Shortness of our Misery; the continual Abode of other Comforts with us; though some be gone, we are not left naked to ⟨p. 30⟩the World; the happy End of all the Good of our Souls. But this for a Taste.

:105p. 30

Men will think a Sermon is to no purpose that is spoken to comfort Persons in this kind. To this end;

:106p. 30¶1

1. Consider, there is none of us but may have need of Comfort one time or other; though our Mountain standeth strong for the present, it may be removed: And it is good to lay up against a dear Year. Such Truths are most welcome when they come in their Season.

:107p. 30

1st. Consider, you may have a Season when it will be necessary for you. Who knoweth what a Day may bring forth? The Woman that entertained the Prophet, he would fain do her good; no, saith she, 2 Kings 4. 13. I dwell among mine own People. But now that very Woman, as in 2 Kings 8. 5. She cried to the King for her House, and her Land: she that did not stand in need of the Prophet, stood in need of the Prophet's Man. You have your Wife, your Children and Friends about you; O there may a time come when you will be glad of one Drop of this Comfort to support you when they are gone.

:108p. 30–31

2dly. Consider, when it is upon you, you will find it the hardest thing in the World truly to assuage your Grief, to grieve so as if you did not grieve. Afflictions are ⟨p. 31⟩evil, and we are apt to make them worse, to turn Wormwood into Poison: Heb. 12. 11. No chastening for the present but will seem grievous. Seneca could slightly speak of Miseries when he had the Use of rich Gardens about Rome; but when he had lost all, he was as much to seek as others.

2dly. Consider, when it is upon you, you will find it the hardest thing in the World truly to asswage your Grief, to grieve so as if you did not grieve. Afflictions are ⟨p. 31⟩evil, and we are apt to make them worse, to turn Wormwood into Poison: Heb. 12. 11. No chastening for the present but will seem grievous. Seneca could slightly speak of Miseries when he had the Use of rich Gardens about Rome; but when he had lost all, he was as much to seek as others.

:109p. 31

Now I shall apply all that hath been spoken to this present Occasion: 1st. To show you why we should mourn. 2dly. Why mourn so, as if we did not mourn.

Now I shall apply all that hath been spoken to this present Occasion: 1st. To shew you why we should mourn. 2dly. Why mourn so, as if we did not mourn.

:110p. 31

First; Why we should mourn: Consider, we have lost a pious Neighbour, and that deserveth Sensibleness.

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Westminster Assembly24

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