Grace, mercy & peace be to you: I received your letter from my Brother, to the which I now answer particularly. I confess two things of my self. 1. Woe, woe is me, that men should think there is any thing in me: He is my witness before whom I am as crystal, that the secret house-devils that bear me too oft company, & that this sink of corruption which I find within, maketh me go with low sails: & if other• saw what I see, they would look by me, but not to me. 2. I know this shower of his free grace behooved to be on me, otherwayes I would have withered. I know also, I have need of a buffeting tempter that grace may be put to exercise & I kept low. Worthy & dear Brother in our Lord Jesus, I write that from my heart which ye now read. 1. I avouch that Christ, & sweating, & sighing under his cross, is sweeter to me by far, then all the Kingdoms in the world could possibly be. 2. If you & my dearest acquaintance in Christ, reap any fruit by my suffering; let me be weighed in God's even balance, if my joy be not fulfilled: What am I to carry the marks of such a great King? But howbeit I am a sink & sinful mass, a wretched captive of sin, my Lord Jesus can hew heaven out of worse timber then I am (if worse can be.) 3. I now rejoice with joy unspeakable & glorious, that I never purposed ⟨p. 77⟩posed to bring Christ no• the least hoof or hair-breadth of truth under […]: I desired to have & keep Christ all alone, & that he should never rub clothes with that black-skinned harlot of Rome. I am now fully payed home, so that nothing aileth me for the present, but love-sickness for a ••all possession of my fair •t well beloved. I would give him my bond under my faith & hand, to first heaven an hundred years longer, so being he would lay his holy face to my sometimes wet cheeks. Oh, who would not pity me, to know how fain I would have the King shaking the tree of life upon me, or letting me in to the well of life with my old dish, that I might be drunken with the fountain, here, in the house of my pilgrimage! I cannot, nay I would not, be quite of Christs love: H• hath left the mark behind him where he gripped: He goeth away & leaveth me & his burning love to wrestle together, & I can scarce win my meat of his love because of absence: My Lord giveth me but hungry half-kisses, which serve to feed pain & increase hunger, but do not satisfy my desires:
GRace, mercy & peace be to you: I received your letter from my Brother, to the which I now answer particularly. I confess two things of my self. 1. Woe, woe is me, that men should think there is any thing in me: He is my witness before whom I am as crystall, that the secret hous•-devils that bear me too oft company, & that this sink of corruption which I finde within, maketh me goe with low sailes: & if other• saw what I see, they would look by me, but not to me. 2. I know this shower of his free grace behooved to be on me, otherwayes I would have withered. I know also, I have need of a buffeting tempter that grace may be put to exercise & I kept low. Worthy & dear Brother in our Lord Jesus, I write that from my heart which ye now read. 1. I avouch that Christ, & sweating, & sighing under his cross, is sweeter to me by far, then all the Kingdoms in the world could possibly be. 2. If you & my dearest acquaintance in Christ, reap any fruit by my sufferring; let me be weighed in God's even ballance, if my joy be not fulfilled: What am I to carry the marks of such a great King? But howbeit I am a sink & sinfull mass, a wretched captive of sin, my Lord Jesus can hew heaven out of worse timber then I am (if worse can be.) 3. I now rejoyce with joy unspeakable & glorious, that I never purposed ⟨p. 77⟩posed to bring Christ no• the least hoof or hair-breadth of truth under 〈…〉: I desired to have & keep Christ all alone, & that he should never rub clothes with that black-skin'd harlot of Rome. I am now fully payed home, so that nothing aileth me for the present, but love-sickness for a ••all possession of my faire •t welbeloved. I would give him my bond under my faith & hand, to frist heaven an hundred yeers longer, so being he would lay his holy face to my sometimes wet cheeks. Oh, who would not pity me, to know how fain I would have the King shaking the tree of life upon me, or letting me in to the well of life with my old dish, that I might be drunken with the fountain, here, in the house of my pilgrimage! I cannot, nay I would not, be quite of Christs love: H• hath left the marke behinde him where he gripped: He goeth away & leaveth me & his burning love to wrestle together, & I can scarce win my meat of his love because of absence: My Lord giveth me but hungry half-kisses, which serve to feed pain & increase hunger, but doe not satisfie my desires:
