The doctrine & directions but more especially the practice and behaviour of a man…The doctrine & directions but more especially the practice and behavior of a man…

Secondly, the Soul reflects on Justice, and now it acknowledgeth the Equity of Gods dealings, be they never so harsh; he confesseth that he is as clay in the hands of the Potter, and the Lord may deal with him as he will: yea, the Soul is driven to an amazement at the Lords patience, and that he hath been pleased to reprieve him so long, that God hath not cast him out of his presence, and sent him down to hell long ago: It is the frame of the Spirit which the poor lamenting Church had, It is the Lords mercy that we are not confounded, because his compassions ¹fail not. When the Lord hath humbled the heart of a Drunkard or Adulterer, he begins thus to think with himself, The Lord saw all the evils I committed; and what then? O then the Soul admires that ever Gods Justice was able to bear with such a monster, ⟨p. 31⟩and that God did not confound him in his drunkenness or burning lusts, and cast him down into hell. Oh (saith he) it is because his mercies fail not, that my life and all have not failed long ago. Hence it is that the Soul will not maintain any kind of murmuring, or heart-rising against the Lords dealings; or if Nature and Corruption will be striving sometimes, and say, Why are not my prayers answered? I know such a soul humbled, and I see such a foul comforted, and why not I as well as he? then the Soul stifles, and crusheth, and chokes these wretched distempers, and doth also abase it self before the Lord, saying, What if God will not hear my prayers? What if God will not pacify my Conscience, doth the Lord do me any wrong? Vile Hell-hound that I am, I have my sin and my shame; Wrath is my portion, and Hell is my place, thither may I go when I will, it is mercy that God thus deals with me. And now the Soul clears God in his Justice, and saith, It is just with God that all the prayers which comes from this filthy heart of mine, should be abhorred, and that all my labours in holy Duties should never be blessed; It is I that have sinned against checks of Conscience, against Knowledge, against Heaven, and therefore it is just that I should carry this horror of heart with me to the Grave; it is I that have abused Mercy, and therefore it is just that I should go with a tormenting Conscience down into hell: And O that (if I be in hell) I might have a spirit to glorify and justify thy Name there;

Secondly, the Soul reflects on Justice, and now it acknowledgeth the Equity of Gods dealings, be they never so harsh; he confesseth that he is as clay in the hands of the Potter, and the Lord may deal with him as he will: yea, the Soul is driven to an amazement at the Lords patience, and that he hath been pleased to reprieve him so long, that God hath not cast him out of his presence, and sent him down to hell long ago: It is the frame of the Spirit which the poor lamenting Church had, It is the Lords mercy that we are not confounded, because his compassions