Early piety, exemplified in the life and death of Mr. Nathanael Mather, who ...…

This Person on his Death-bed complained to me, that Horrenda de Deo, Horrible Conceptions of God, buzzing about his mind, had been one of the bitterest of all his Trials: and I find his private Papers making sad Lamentations over the miseries of this annoyance. You shall read how he did encounter these Fiends, as one that was no Stranger to the Wars of the Lord.

This Person on his Death-bed complained to me, that Horrenda de Deo, Horrible Conceptions of God, buzzing about his mind, had been one of the bitterest of all his Tryals: and I find his private Papers making sad Lamentations over the miseries of this annoyance. You shall read how he did encounter these Fiends, as one that was no Stranger to the Wars of the Lord.

Once in his Diary, he says;

Troubled exceedingly with Blasphemous Suggestions, my Soul bleeds at the thoughts of them. O that Christ would deliver me from ⟨p. 48⟩them! they make my Life unpleasant. I do believe that Satan never struggled so hard to keep any one from Christ, as he has done to keep me! From hence I learn, 1. My great Enmity to, 2. My great need of, the Lord Jesus Christ. At another time: Troubled with Blasphemous Thoughts, I learn from hence, 1. Seeing these would have me to entertain a low Esteem of Christ and God, I will endeavour to have a more high and eminent Esteem of God and Christ. 2. Seeing these do so perplex me continually, I learn, that I am unable of my self to raise good Thoughts, much less to perform Good Acts of Obedience. I would be deeply humbled, that my Soul should be thus defiled. Seeing, I have often so much Experience and stirrings of Enmity in my Soul to God, I would be excited thereby more heartily to cleave unto him. ⟨p. 49⟩