Tears of repentance

Tears of repentance: or, A further narrative of the progress of the Gospel amongst the Indians in New-England: setting forth, not only their present state and condition, but sundry confessions of sin by diverse of the said Indians, wrought upon by the saving power of the Gospel; together with the manifestation of their faith and hope in Jesus Christ, and the work of grace upon their hearts. Related by Mr. Eliot and Mr. Mayhew, two faithful labourers in that work of the Lord. Published by the corporation for propagating the Gospel there, for the satisfaction and comfort of such as wish well thereunto.Tears of repentance: or, A further narrative of the progress of the Gospel amongst the Indians in New-England: setting forth, not only their present state and condition, but sundry confessions of sin by diverse of the said Indians, wrought upon by the saving power of the Gospel; together with the manifestation of their faith and hope in Jesus Christ, and the work of grace upon their hearts. Related by Mr. Eliot and Mr. Mayhew, two faithful laborers in that work of the Lord. Published by the corporation for propagating the Gospel there, for the satisfaction and comfort of such as wish well thereunto.

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Then Waban was called forth, whose Confession was as followeth; no former confession of his being read unto the Elders.

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Before I heard of God, and before the English came into this Country, many evil things my heart did work, many thoughts I had in my heart; I wished for riches, I wished to be a witch, I wished to be a Sachem; and many such other evils were in my heart: Then when the English came, still my heart did the same things; when the English taught me of God (I coming to their Houses) I would go out of their doors, and many years I knew nothing; when the English taught me I was angry with them: But a little while ago after the great sickness, I considered what the English do, and I had some desire to do as they do; and after that I began to work as they work; and then I wondered how the English come to be so strong to labour; then I thought I shall quickly die, and I feared lest I should die before I prayed to God; then I thought, if I prayed to God in our Language, whether could God understand my prayers in our Language; therefore I did ask Mr. Jackson, and Mr. Mahu, If God understood prayers in our Language? They answered me, God doth understand all Languages in the World. But I do not ⟨p. 8⟩know how to confess, and little do I know of Christ; I fear I shall not believe a great while, and very slowly; I do not know what grace is in my heart, there is but little good in me; but this I know, That Christ hath kept all Gods Commandments for us, and that Christ doth know all our hearts; and now I desire to repent of all my sins: I neither have done, nor can do the Commandments of the Lord, but I am ashamed of all I do, and I do repent of all my sins, even of all that I do know of: I desire that I may be converted from all my sins, and that I might believe in Christ, and I desire him; I dislike my sins, yet I do not truly pray to God in my heart: no matter for good words, all is the true heart; and this day I do not so much desire good words, as throughly to open my heart: I confess I can do nothing, but deserve damnation; only Christ can help me and do for me. But I have nothing to say for my self that is good; I judg that I am a sinner, and cannot repent, but Christ hath deserved pardon for us.

BEfore I heard of God, and before the English came into this Country, many evil things my heart did work, many thoughts I had in my heart; I wished for riches, I wished to be a witch, I wished to be a Sachem; and many such other evils were in my heart: Then when the English came, still my heart did the same things; when the English taught me of God (I coming to their Houses) I would go out of their doors, and many years I knew nothing; when the English taught me I was angry with them: But a little while agoe after the great sikness, I considered what the English do, and I had some desire to do as they do; and after that I began to work as they work; and then I wondered how the English come to be so strong to labor; then I thought I shall quickly die, and I feared lest I should die before I prayed to God; then I thought, if I prayed to God in our Language, whether could God understand my prayers in our Language; therefore I did ask Mr. Jackson, and Mr. Mahu, If God understood prayers in our Language? They answered me, God doth understand all Languages in the World. But I do not ⟨p. 8⟩know how to confess, and little do I know of Christ; I fear I shall not beleeve a great while, and very slowly; I do not know what grace is in my heart, there is but little good in me; but this I know, That Christ hath kept all Gods Commandements for us, and that Christ doth know all our hearts; and now I desire to repent of all my sins: I neither have done, nor can do the Commandements of the Lord, but I am ashamed of all I do, and I do repent of all my sins, even of all that I do know of: I desire that I may be converted from all my sins, and that I might beleeve in Christ, and I desire him; I dislike my sins, yet I do not truly pray to God in my heart: no matter for good words, all is the true heart; and this day I do not so much desire good words, as throughly to open my heart: I confess I can do nothing, but deserve damnation; only Christ can help me and do for me. But I have nothing to say for my self that is good; I judg that I am a sinner, and cannot repent, but Christ hath deserved pardon for us.

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This Confession being not so satisfactory as was desired, Mr. Wilson testified, that he spake these latter expressions with tears, which I observed not, because I attended to writing; but I gave this testimony of him, That his conversation was without offence to the English, so far as I knew, and among the Indians, it was exemplar: his gift is not so much in expressing himself this way, but in other respects useful and eminent; it being demanded in what respect, I answered to this purpose, That his gift lay in Ruling, Judging of Cases, wherein he is patient, constant, and prudent, insomuch that he is much respected among them, for they have chosen him a Ruler of Fifty, and he Ruleth well according to his measure. It was further said, they thought he had been a great drawer on to Religion; I replied, so he was in his way, and did prevail with many; and so it rested.

This Confession being not so satisfactory as was desired, Mr. Wilson testified, that he spake these latter expressions with tears, which I observed not, because I attended to writing; but I gave this testimony of him, That his conversation was without offence to the English, so far as I knew, and among the Indians, it was exemplar: his gift is not so much in expressing himself this way, but in other respects useful and eminent; it being demanded in what respect, I answered to this purpose, That his gift lay in Ruling, Judging of Cases, wherein he is patient, constant, and prudent, insomuch that he is much respected among them, for they have chosen him a Ruler of Fifty, and he Ruleth well according to his measure. It was further said, they thought he had been a great drawer on to Religion; I replyed, so he was in his way, and did prevail with many; and so it rested.

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The next that was called, was William of Sudbury, his Indian Name is Nataôus; his former Confession read before the Elders, was as followeth:

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I Confess that before I prayed, I committed all manner of sins, and served many gods: when the English came first, I going to their Houses, they spake to me of your God, but when I heard of God, my heart hated it; but when they said the Devil was my god, I was angry, because I was proud: when I came to their houses I hated to hear of God, I loved lust in my own house and not God, I loved to pray to many gods. Five years ago, I going to English houses, and they speaking of God, I did a little like of it, yet when I went again to my own house, I did all manner of sins, and in my heart I did act all sins, though I would not be seen by man. Then going to your house, I more desired to hear of God; and my heart said, I will pray to God so long as I live: then I went to the Minister Mr. Browns house, and told him I would pray as long as I lived; but he said I did not say it from my heart, and I believe it. When Wahan spake to me that I should pray to God, I did so. But I had greatly sinned against God, and had not believed the Word, but was proud: but then I was angry with my self, and loathed my self, and thought God will not forgive me my sins. For when I had been abroad in the woods I would be very angry, and would lye unto men, and I could not find the way how to be a good man: then I believed your teaching, That when good men die, the Angels carry their souls to God; but evil men dying, they go to Hell, and perish for ever. I thought this a true saying, and I promised to God, to pray to God as long as I live. I had a little grief in my heart five years ago for my sins: but many were my ⟨p. 10⟩prides; sometime I was angry with my self, and pitied my self; but I thought God would not pardon such a proud heart as mine is: I believe that Christ would have me to forsake my anger; I believe that Christ hath redeemed us, and I am glad to hear those words of God; and I desire that I might do all the good ways of God, and that I might truly pray unto God: I do now want Graces, and these Christ only teacheth us, and only Christ hath wrought our redemption, and he procureth our pardon for all our sins; and I believe that when believers die, Gods Angels carry them to Heaven: but I want faith to believe the Word of God, and to open my Eyes, and to help me to cast away all sins; and Christ hath deserved for me eternal life: I have deserved nothing my self;

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Christ hath deserved all, and giveth me faith to believe it.

Christ hath deserved all, and giveth me faith to beleeve it.

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William of Sudbury: His Indian Name is NATAÔUS. The Confession which he made on the fast day before the great Assembly was as followeth.

Willam of Sudbury: His Indian Name is NATAÔUS. The Confession which he made on the fast day before the great Assembly was as followeth.

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Before I prayed to God, I committed all sins; and serving many gods. I much despised praying unto God, for I believed the Devil, and he did daily teach me to sin, and I did them: sometimes hearing of God my heart did hate it, and went to my own house, because I did love to commit all sin there. About Six years ago, a little I liked to hear of God, and yet I hated that which was good: hearing that Cutshamoquin prayed, then I thought I will pray also: a year after, I heard of praying to God, and I went to Mr. Browns house and told him I will pray to God as long as live; he said, I doubt of it, and bid me cut off my hair, and I did so presently; and then I desired to be like God, and Jesus Christ, and to call ⟨p. 11⟩on him, but I found it very hard to believe; yet I thought, I will pray as long as I live. Hearing that Word, That Christ dyed for us, was buried & rose again, and hearing of that Word also, Seek peace & embrace the Word: then I began to believe that Christ died for us, for sin; and I saw my heart very full of sin. And hearing that word, That Christ went to the Mount Olives, and ascended, I believed and thought, Oh that God would pardon me; but I fear he will not, because I have been so long time a sinner. Sometime I am angry with my self, for my many Evil thoughts in my heart; and to this day I want grace, and cannot confess, because I have been so great a sinner: and this day I confess, a little I pray, and that I can pray but a little and weakly. When I heard that word of God, That all from the rising to the setting Sun shall pray I first under stood it it not, and wondered how it should be: after I saw that when they believe and obey God, then he will teach them to do right things, and God will teach us to do all things for God, sleeping and waking to be with God. But still do foolishly, and not according to my prayer: I cannot get pardon of my sins, for my sins are great in thought, word, and deed: and no man can cast off his own sins, but that is the work of Christ only to work it in us; a man cannot make a right prayer but when Christ assisteth him; then we shall do all things well. I believe that Christ is God, and the Son of God because when he dyed, he rose again, and he dyed for our sins; and I believe he is in Heaven and ever prayeth for us, and sendeth his gospel unto us:

BEfore I prayed to God, I commited all sins; and serving many gods. I much despised praying unto God, for I beleeved the Devil, and he did dayly teach me to sin, and I did them: somtimes hearing of God my heart did hate it, and went to my own house, because I did love to commit all sin there. About Six years ago, a little I liked to hear of God, and yet I hated that which was good: hearing that Cutshamoquin prayed, then I thought I will pray also: a year after, I heard of praying to God, and I went to Mr. Browns house and told him I will pray to God as long as live; he said, I doubt of it, and bid me cut off my hair, and I did so presently; and then I desired to be like God, and Jesus Christ, and to call

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and I am angry with my self, because I do not believe the word of God, and gospel of Jesus Christ.

and I am angry with my self, because I do not beleeve the word of God, and gospel of Jesus Christ.

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The next which was called forth was Monequassun, who is our School-master; whose former Confession, read before the Elders, was as followeth.

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I Confess my sorrow for all my sins against God, and before men: When I first heard instruction, I believed not, but laughed at it, and scorned praying to God; afterward, when we were taught at Cohannet (that is the place where he lived) I still hated praying, and I did think of running away, because I cared not for praying to God; but afterwards, because I loved to dwell at that place, I would not leave the place, and therefore I thought I will pray to God, because I would still stay at that place, therefore I prayed not for the love of God, but for love of the place I lived in; after that I desired a little to learn the Catechism on the Lecture days, and I did learn the ten Commandments, and after that, all the points in the Catechism; yet afterwards I cast them all away again, then was my heart filled with folly, and my sins great sins; afterwards by hearing, I began to fear, because of my many sins, lest the wise men should come to know them, and punish me for them; and then again I thought of running away because of my many sins: But after that I thought I would pray rightly to God, and cast away my sins; then I saw my hypocrisy, because I did ask some questions, but did not do that which I knew: afterward I considered of my question, and thought I would pray to God, and would consider of some other Question, and I asked this, Question, How should I get Wisdom? and the Answer to it did a little turn my heart from sin, to seek after God; and I then considered that the Word of God was good; then I prayed ⟨p. 13⟩to God because of the Word of God. The next Lecture day you taught that word of God, If any man lack Wisdom, let him ask it of God, who giveth freely to them that ask him, and upbraideth no man, James, 1. 5. Then again a little my heart was turned after God, the Word also said, Repent, mourn, and believe in Jesus Christ: this also helped me on. Then you taught, That he that believeth not Christ, and repenteth not of sin, they are foolish and wicked; and because they believe not, they shall perish: then I thought my self a fool, because I believed not Christ, but sinned every day, and after I heard the Word, I greatly broke the Word. But afterward I heard this promise of God, Who ever repenteth and believeth in Christ, God will forgive him all his sins, he shall not perish; then I thought, that as yet, I do not repent, and believe in Christ:

I Confess my sorrow for all my sins against God, and before men: When I first heard instruction, I beleeved not, but laughed at it, and scorned praying to God; afterward, when we were taught at Cohannet (that is the place where he lived) I still hated praying, and I did think of running away, because I cared not for praying to God; but afterwards, because I loved to dwell at that place, I would not leave the place, and therefore I thought I will pray to God, because I would still stay at that place, therefore I prayed not for the love of God, but for love of the place I lived in; after that I desired a little to learn the Catechisme on the Lecture daies, and I did learn the ten Commandements, and after that, all the points in the Catechisme; yet afterwards I cast them all away again, then was my heart filled with folly, and my sins great sins; afterwards by hearing, I began to fear, because of my many sins, lest the wise men should come to know them, and punish me for them; and then again I thought of running away because of my many sins: But after that I thought I would pray rightly to God, and cast away my sins; then I saw my hypocricy, because I did ask some questions, but did not do that which I knew: afterward I considered of my question, and thought I would pray to God, and would consider of some other Question, and I asked this, Question, How should I get Wisdom? and the Answer to it did a little turn my heart from sin, to seek after God; and I then considered that the Word of God was good; then I prayed

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then I prayed to God, because of this his Promise; and then I prayed to God, for God and for Christ his sake: after that again I did a little break the Word of Christ. And then I heard some other words of God, which showed me my sins, and my breakings of Gods word; and sometimes I thought God and Christ would forgive me, because of the promise to them that believe in Christ, and repent of sin, I thought I did that which God spake in the Promise. Then being called to confess, to prepare to make a Church at Natick, I loved Cohannet; but after hearing this instruction, That we should not only be Hearers, but Doers of the Word, then my heart did fear. And afterward hearing that in Matthew, Christ saw two brethren mending their Nets, he said, Follow me and I will make you Fishers of men, presently they followed Christ; and when I heard this, I feared, because I was not willing to follow Christ to Natick; they followed Christ at his Word, but I did not, for now Christ saith to us, follow Me: then I was much troubled, and considered of this Word of God. Afterward I heard another word, the blind men cried after Christ and said, Have mercy on us thou Son of David, but after they came to Christ, he called them, and asked them, What shall I do for you? they said, Lord open our eyes; then Christ had pity on them, and opened their eyes, and they followed Christ; when I heard this, my heart was troubled, then I prayed to ⟨p. 14⟩God and Christ, to open mine eyes, and if Christ open my eyes, then I shall rejoice to follow Christ: then I considered of both these Scriptures, and I a little saw that I must follow Christ. And now my heart desireth to make confession of what I know of God, and of my self, and of Christ: I believe that there is only one God, and that he made and ruleth all the World, and that he the Lord, giveth us all good things: I know that God giveth every day all good mercies, life, and health, and all; I have not one good thing, but God it is that giveth it me, I believe that God at first made man like God, holy, wise, righteous; but the first man sinned, for God promised him, If thou do my Commandments, thou shalt live, and thy children; but if thou sin, thou shalt die, thou and thy children; this Covenant God made with the first man. But the first man did not do the Commandments of God, he did break Gods Word, he believed Satan;

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and now I am full of sin, because the first man brought sin; daily I am full of sin in my heart: I do not daily rejoice in Repentance, because Satan worketh daily in my heart, and opposeth Repentance, and all good Works; day and night my heart is full of sin. I believe that Jesus Christ was born of the Virgin Mary; God promised her she should bear a Son, and his Name should be JESUS, because he shall deliver his people from their sins: And when Christ came to preach, he said, Repent, because the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand; again Christ taught, Except ye repent and become as a little child, ye shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven; therefore humble your selves like one of these little children, and great shall be your Kingdom in Heaven. Again Christ said, Come unto me all ye that are weary and heavy laden with sin, and I will give you rest: take up my Cross, and Yoke, learn of me, for I am meek, and ye shall find rest to your souls, for my yoke is easy, and burden light: these are the Words of Christ, and I know Christ he is good, but my works are evil: Christ his words are good, but I am not humble; but if we be humble and believing in Christ, he pardons all our sins. I now desire to believe in Jesus Christ, because of the word of Christ, that I may be converted and become as a little Child. I confess my sins before God, and before Jesus ⟨p. 15⟩Christ this day; now I desire all my sins may be pardoned; I now desire repentance in my heart, and ever to believe in Christ; now I lift up my heart to Christ, and trust him with it, because I believe Christ died for us, for all our sins, and deserved for us eternal life in Heaven, and deserved pardon for all our sins. And now I give my soul to Christ because he hath redeemed: I do greatly love, and like repentance in my heart, and I love to believe in Jesus Christ, and my heart is broken by repentance: all these things I do like well of, that they may be in my heart, but because Christ hath all these to give, I ask them of him that he may give me repentance, and faith in Christ, and therefore I pray and beseech Christ daily for repentance and faith; and other good ways I beg of Christ daily to give me: and I pray to Christ for all these gifts and graces to put them in my heart: and now I greatly thank Christ for all these good gifts which he hath given me.

and now I am full of sin, because the first man brought sin; dayly I am full of sin in my heart: I do not dayly rejoyce in Repentance, because Satan worketh dayly in my heart, and opposeth Repentance, and all good Works; day and night my heart is full of sin. I beleeve that Jesus Christ was born of the Virgin Mary; God promised her she should bear a Son, and his Name should be JESUS, because he shall deliver his people from their sins: And when Christ came to preach, he said, Repent, because the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand; again Christ taught, Except ye repent and become as a little child, ye shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven; therefore humble your selves like one of these little children, and great shall be your Kingdom in Heaven. Again Christ said, Come unto me all ye that are weary and heavy laden with sin, and I will give you rest: take up my Cross, and Yoak, learn of me, for I am meek, and ye shall find rest to your souls, for my yoak is easie, and burden light: these are the Words of Christ, and I know Christ he is good, but my works are evil: Christ his words are good, but I am not humble; but if we be humble and beleeving in Christ, he pardons all our sins. I now desire to beleeve in Jesus Christ, because of the word of Christ, that I may be converted and become as a little Child. I confess my sins before God, and before Jesus

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I know not any thing, nor can do any thing that is a good work: even my heart is dark daily in what I should do, and my soul dyeth because of my sins, and therefore I give my soul to Christ, because I know my soul is dead in sin, and daily doth commit sin; in my heart I sin, and all the members of my body are sinful. I believe Jesus Christ is ascended to Heaven through the clouds, and he will come again from Heaven: Many saw Christ go up to Heaven, and the Angels said, even so he will come again to judg all the world; and therefore I believe Gods promise, That all men shall rise again when Christ cometh again, then all shall rise, and all their souls comes again because Christ is trusted with them, and keeps their souls, therefore I desire my sins may be pardoned; and I believe in Christ; and ever so long as I live, I will pray to God, and do all the good ways he commandeth.

I know not any thing, nor can do any thing that is a good work: even my heart is dark dayly in what I should do, and my soul dyeth because of my sins, and therefore I give my soul to Christ, because I know my soul is dead in sin, and dayly doth commit sin; in my heart I sin, and all the members of my body are sinful. I beleeve Jesus Christ is ascended to Heaven through the clouds, and he will come again from Heaven: Many saw Christ go up to Heaven, and the Angels said, even so he will come again to judg all the world; and therefore I beleeve Gods promise, That all men shall rise again when Christ cometh again, then all shall rise, and all their souls comes again because Christ is trusted with them, and keeps their souls, therefore I desire my sins may be pardoned; and I beleeve in Christ; and ever so long as I live, I will pray to God, and do all the good waies he commandeth.

Reformers309

Puritans1,782

Westminster Assembly24

Evangelicals36

Then Waban was called forth, whose Confession was as followeth; no former confession of his being read unto the Elders.

The next that was called, was William of Sudbury, his Indian Name is Nataôus; his former Confession read before the Elders, was as followeth:

William of Sudbury: His Indian Name is NATAÔUS. The Confession which he made on the fast day before the great Assembly was as followeth.

Willam of Sudbury: His Indian Name is NATAÔUS. The Confession which he made on the fast day before the great Assembly was as followeth.

The next which was called forth was Monequassun, who is our School-master; whose former Confession, read before the Elders, was as followeth.