The Christian in Complete Armour

Again, perhaps thou hast been praying for further strength to be communicated to thee in duty, that thou mightest be more spiritual, vigorous, united, sincere, and the like therein, and yet thou findest thy old distempers hanging about thee, as if thou hadst never acquainted God with thy ail; Well, soul, look once again into thy bosom with an unprejudiced eye, though thou doest not find the assisting strength thou prayedst for, yet hast thou no more self-abasing strength? perhaps the annoyance thou hast from these remaining distempers in duty, occasion thee to have a meaner opinion of all thy duties then ever, yea, they make thee abhor thy self in the sense of these, as if thou hadst so many loathsome vermin about thee. Jobs condition on the dunghill, with all his botches and running sores on his body, appears desirable to thee, in comparison of thine, whose soul thou complainest is worse then his body. O this afflicts thy soul deeply, doth it not? that thou shouldest appear before the Lord with such a dead, divided heart, ⟨p. 45⟩and do his work worst that deserves best at thy hands, and is all this nothing? Surely, Christian, thine eyes are held as much as Hagars, or else thou wouldest see the streamings forth of divine grace in this frame of thy heart; surely others will think God hath done a mighty work in thy soul; What harder and more against the hair, then to bring our proud hearts to take shame for that, whereof they naturally boast and glory? And is it nothing for thee to tread on the very neck of thy duties, and count them matter of thy humiliation and abasing, which others make the matter of their confidence and self-rejoicing? Good store of virtue hath gone from Christ, to dry this issue of pride in thy heart, which sometimes in gracious ones runs through and through their duties, that it is seen or may be by those that have less grace then themselves.

Again, perhaps thou hast been praying for further strength to be communicated to thee in duty, that thou mightest be more spiritual, vigorous, united, sincere, and the like therein, and yet thou findest thy old distempers hanging about thee, as if thou hadst never acquainted God with thy aile; Well, soule, look once again into thy bosome with an unprejudiced eye, though thou doest not find the assisting strength thou prayedst for, yet hast thou no more self-abasing strength? perhaps the annoyance thou hast from these remaining distempers in duty, occasion thee to have a meaner opinion of all thy duties then ever, yea, they make thee abhor thy selfe in the sense of these, as if thou hadst so many loathsom vermein about thee. Jobs condition on the dunghil, with all his botches and running sores on his body, appears desirable to thee, in comparison of thine, whose soul thou complainest is worse then his body. O this afflicts thy soul deeply, doth it not? that thou shouldest appear before the Lord with such a dead, divided heart,