A discourse apologeticalA discours apologetical

From this employment I came home, arrested with a sharp fit of the Wind-Colic, the violence whereof, after grievous and tedious pains undergone, and not suddenly removed, so loosed and weakened the whole frame of my feeble body, that it constrained me to keep Bed for a long time together. After which extreme weakness, when I had recovered so much strength, as but to sit up a little, by some cold taken, I fell back into such a deep and dangerous relapse, as made my recovery very doubtful, not to my friends alone, but even to the Physicians themselves. This affixed me for a longer space of time, then before, to my Bed; mured me up a far longer time in my Chamber, and confined me yet a far longer time to my House. And this, I suppose, was no willing or wilful silencing of my self.

From this employment I came home, arrested with a sharp fit of the Wind-Colick, the violence whereof, after grievous and tedious pains undergone, and not suddenlie removed, so loosed and weakned the whole frame of my feeble bodie, that it constrained me to keep Bed for a long time together. After which extream weakness, when I had recovered so much strength, as but to sit up a little, by some cold taken, I fel back into such a deep and dangerous relapse, as made my recoverie verie doubtful, not to my friends alone, but even to the Physicians themselvs. This affixed me for a longer space of time, then before, to my Bed; mured me up a far longer time in my Chamber, and confined me yet a far longer time to my House. And this, I suppose, was no willing or wilful silencing of my self.

Howbeit, so soon as I had gotten any degree of strength, and was able to creep or crawl out to the Public Assembly (of my own people, I mean; for unto that at Westminster, I was never able to return) I returned to my wonted course of Teaching, and therein continued for some good space of time, until by intention ⟨p. 50⟩of speech a vein opening in my Lungs caused such a flux of blood, as that, when it could not otherwise be staid, I was constrained by advice to open a vein elsewhere; which double expense of blood could not but exceedingly weaken one of my years, never of any strong constitution, and by a foregoing malady brought so low as I la[…] been. Notwithstanding, after that I had for some few months forborne preaching, supposing that all in my Lungs was now perfectly closed up and healed, I betook my self afresh again to my wonted employment, and persisted therein, until either the former or some other vein in the same part, reserated the second time, and with more violence disgorging it self then before, I was enforced to have recourse to the former remedy again; but found it a work of more difficulty now by that course (albeit a double quantity almost of blood to what before, was then drawn from me) and other means adjoined thereunto, to effect a restraint, and repress the efflux, then formerly it had been. And I was then told by the Physician, that I must wholly forbear Preaching, unless I would wilfully make away myself; and this is the wilful or unwilling silencing of my self from Preaching. Which howsoever I therefore forbear, that I may not thereby make my self guilty of self-murder; yet do I not wholly neglect my Pastoral employments, so far as with safety I may perform any (for this voidance of blood doth at times still surprise me, tho not with such vehemency, as at those other times it did) in Administration of the Sacraments with such short Collations as are suitable to the present occasion, in Visitation of the sick, and other like Offices, as ability serveth, and my weakness will permit.